It’s a day of laughter and a day of worry. So why not abandon all the unhappiness and look at life with a smile? ! If you feel that there is nothing funny, I hope the humorous jokes I have sorted out today will make you smile. It is updated every day, please continue to pay attention and give me a like.
01
After the epidemic was lifted, the company separated the offices, which were divided into underworld offices and living offices respectively.
Xiao Liu just joined the company at work that day. Because he sneezed several times in succession, he started to run into the office. So he wiped his nose and walked to the office.
The director standing at the door suddenly said, "Xiao Liu, you see, you're running nose, go to the living room office ."
Xiao Liu hurriedly said, "Director, I just sneezed a few times and left a little snot. It's okay, I'd better go to the underworld office ."
Xiao Wang in the living room office said, "Then I'll burn some paper and forget about ."
Director was suddenly.
Xiao Wang replied: "Transfer files between Yin and Yang."
02
went to my best friend's house to play. My best friend's 7-year-old son greeted me politely: "Hello aunt, I won't accompany you if I want to do my homework."
I immediately said: "Okay, do my homework well, and strive to get 100 points in every exam."
The son of a friend continued: "I get 100 points every time, can I go to a good university in the future?"
I said: "That's right!"
The little guy continued: "Go to a good university and study hard, can I find a good job after graduation?"
I said: "Yes."
Then the little guy said: "Yes."
Then the little guy said: "Yes." He said, "Can you earn a lot of money by working hard after graduation?"
I replied, "Of course."
But the little guy said, "After making a lot of money, can you find a wife?"
I said, "Who asked you to think about such a long-term thing?"
The little guy who was about to walk away replied, "Mom told me. After finding a wife, my mom can hold a grandson. Auntie, I won't tell you, I will do my homework quickly so that my mom can hold a grandson."
This naughty child...
03
My wife and sister-in-law are identical twins , and everyone says they are exactly the same.
My wife and I were still sleeping this morning, and my sister-in-law suddenly ran over and stared at my wife, which made us both furious.
asked her what was wrong, and her sister-in-law said, "The mirror in my room was accidentally broken. I was afraid that if I didn't look in the mirror for too long, I would forget how beautiful I was, so I came to see you and just look in the mirror."
Wife: "..."
04
I have been living in financial difficulties recently and have a problem with eating. I planned to borrow some money from my brother, but I didn't expect my brother to come out with a sheet.
explains the purpose of the trip, and my brother shouted loudly: "Wife, give me your pants, I'll go to the bank to see if there is any money in the card!"
My sister-in-law's voice came from the bedroom: "No, today is Saturday, it's my turn to wear pants!"
If I hadn't seen King Crab on the table, I would have thought my brother was bankrupt!
05
I met a lot of friends in college and I rarely contacted me after I got off work.
Yesterday a friend said he brought me two bottles of good wine for me to taste, so I quickly asked my wife to prepare a sumptuous dinner.
After dinner, he was about to leave, but his car happened to be out of gas, so I kindly added 400 yuan of gas to him. After
left, my wife complained: "The gas money is enough to buy a few bottles of wine, and I will make a meal?"
Only then did I recall that the wine fell on his car and I didn't take it at all!
06
My brother's son is five years old. My sister-in-law wants him to learn how to play erhu , but he is not willing to go.
sister-in-law was so angry that she couldn't ask him: "You should at least learn the same thing, what do you want to learn?"
nephew said: "I don't learn anything now, just wait until I grow up to learn a chef... sister-in-law asked him why,"
he squinted his sister-in-law and said: "When I grow up, my wife asked me to cook. I don't know. Do you let me wait and kneel on the washboard..."
sister-in-law was speechless at the time.
07
Me: "I think the ancients said that the enemy did not move, but I would not move. If the enemy wanted to move, I would move first! That's great!"
Brothers: "It's really good, what's wrong? Do you still have a real experience?"
Me: "Yes, every time my wife wants to hit me, I will kneel down honestly in advance before she prepares for action!"
Brothers: ......
08
Art class teacher drew a fish on the blackboard and asked the students to draw it as usual.
The little nephew sat there motionless. The teacher said angrily: "I will only have one week for you and draw 100 fish exactly the same as on the blackboard."
Next week, the teacher asked the little nephew to hand over the drawing. There was only one fish on the white paper that the little nephew handed over.
The teacher asked, "Why is there only one?"
The little nephew replied, "I drew a female fish, which will produce 99 small fish."
09
Our female boss is a scumbag girl who has divorced three times. This time she found a husband who is 10 years younger than herself, and many people sent gifts and blessings.
I wanted to take this opportunity to show myself, so I asked my buddy what good things to give. After my buddy figured out the situation, he asked me to send it a bunch of pear blossoms and , saying that pear blossoms represent innocence and love that will never be separated for the rest of my life.
So I bought a bunch, carefully packaged it and sent it to me. Unexpectedly, the leader looked very unhappy at that time. As a few days later, I was fired by my female boss on the grounds of not being active in work...
010
A conversation came from the archer's house
"Go and wash the dishes, it's your turn to wash the dishes today."
"It seems that something happened to me, I'm cold and don't want to wash dishes!"
"Get out! Get out of here, don't pretend, go quickly Wash!"
"I...I feel like I'm pregnant. I love to eat sour recently!"
"Damn, you just said something happened, why did you get pregnant immediately?"
"What people said is true!"
"Arrowman, I warn you, pretend to be a woman and be careful, I will suck you!!" The archer's wife roared viciously.
Happy little fish in Henan, I like to spend my time happily every day, I hope you will be as happy as me after watching it. If you are not laughing, it must be that you are not laughing enough. Please leave your suggestions in the comment section and provide some good jokes. Thanks! !
pictures are from the Internet. If there is any infringement, delete them immediately.
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