1 Old junior high school classmate, female, very delicious, most of the bags are snacks. I met her on the same day and asked her: "I heard that you recently applied for a weight loss card, but you still don't lose ten times the amount of money. It's been more than a month. How effective is it?" "Don't mention it, I got the ten times the amount of compensation, and I was kicked out. Three coaches were fired because of eating my snacks..."
2 What is a real mother? My mother called five minutes before you got off work and asked if you would go home for dinner? I said, go back and eat, but my mother said, don’t come back and eat, we’ve finished eating... Come back after you finish eating. My heart was hurt 10,000 points
3 My wife shouted wildly: "Husband, hug me quickly and the picture is very windy outside. Hug me tightly. Otherwise, the strong wind blows me to other men's houses. What if I don't send it back to you?"
My husband said calmly: "You should pull it down quickly. Don't talk about whether your weight can be blown. Even if the typhoon blows, people have to send it back to me against the wind!
4 Me: "Why are you not wearing a necklace today? "The wife said directly: "It's gone! "Seeing that I was about to get angry, she immediately said quickly, "Don't think about beating me. I fell out half a month ago. At first, I was a little afraid of you scolding me, but now I'm not afraid! Come on, let’s discuss whether you have cared about me in the past half month, and then talk about losing the necklace! "
5 A friend was very delicate. That day, his hand cut a little skin and a little blood came out. He insisted on going to the hospital!
When he arrived at the hospital, the doctor said, "Oh, you sent it in time. If you were late, it would all heal!
6 The niece was on vacation for two days, and her sister-in-law looked at her in all kinds of dislikes and kept scolding her...
0 niece was anxious and shouted: Mom, do you just disgusted your daughter so much?
0 sister-in-law responded: No, you started to feel nauseous and vomited as soon as you got pregnant...
7 patient said: "Doctor, I'm more energetic as I late late, like a night owl; I often eat nonstop, like a hungry wolf; I was suspicious when I walked, and I always looked back to see if anyone was following me, like fox . What disease do you think I have? Can it be cured? "The doctor said, "You should go to the veterinarian to have a look." "
8 is going back to my parents' home, my husband is playing with my phone. I mop the floor and nagging my husband about washing his hair, face and changing clothes. I have been nagging countless times but still not moving. I was about to have an attack. My husband put away his phone in disappointment and pulled me over to examine it for a long time and said
"Wife, show you a magical magic, close your eyes for three seconds and open your eyes again to see what is in my eyes"
I will do it "nothing, why is it dripping?"
Husband "I have a puppy in my eyes, haven't you seen it?"
I "No..."
Husband "Nonsense, there is a puppy in my eyes that wants to bite people"
...I...I...If you didn't hold my hand, I promise not to beat you to death!!!
9 Once my cat was lying behind my boyfriend's butt When I was sleeping in front of me, my boyfriend told me that I don’t know what happened these days, and I always like to fart. As I was talking, I farted. The cat flew up and landed heavily on the ground, looking for the source of sound. My boyfriend farted again. Oh my goodness, it doesn’t matter if I don’t want to let it go. When I let it go, the cat jumped like a chicken blood, and fainted with a bang! ! ! …I’ll go, let’s make the cat faint
10 Today I went out for dinner with my nephew. After eating, I found that I didn’t bring my wallet and my phone was out of battery. Why do I check out in a hurry? I can’t eat a tycoon meal!
At this time, the nephew said to the boss with a witty look beside me: "Uncle, my aunt is so beautiful, why don’t you hold my aunt here? I’ll go back to get the money..."
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