The humorous jokes are updated every day. Please pay attention to the collection. Reading more will not only help your physical and mental health, but also help people out at the right time and make interpersonal relationships more harmonious.

's humorous jokes are updated every day. Please pay attention to the collection. Reading more will not only help your physical and mental health, but also help people get out of trouble at the right time and make interpersonal relationships more harmonious.

01

When my son was in junior high school, his grades were average. Sometimes he would sit at the same table as the student ranked last in the row.

On this day, I met my son's homeroom teacher on the road and asked about his recent study situation. The homeroom teacher said: "Your son always likes to talk in self-study classes recently. When criticized, he said he was giving lectures to his classmates..."

I knew that the child was wrong, and I immediately said angrily: "This child Don’t you know how much you weigh, so why are you lecturing for others? Talking about topics is just making excuses for talking. "

The head teacher glanced at me and then said: "There are really two of them. One dares to speak and the other dares to listen..."

02

A man went to the bookstore to buy books.

asked: Where is "Happy Married Life"?

Clerk: This book is a fantasy novel, in the first row.

Men: What about "How to Get Along as a Couple"?

Clerk: The book is a martial arts novel and is in the second row.

Men: "Financial Management, Essentials of Buying a House"?

Clerk: That’s delusional syndrome, it’s mental, it’s in the eighth row.

Men: "The man should be the head of the family"?

Shopkeeper: We don’t sell fairy tale books here!

03

Three robbers escaped after stealing a large sum of money from the bank. The three of them found a deserted place to discuss how to sell the stolen goods.

A said: "Although I have a bachelor's degree, I do things fairly. Steel and are the heaviest. I will carry the steel on my back to reduce your burden." The other two thought it was good, and A carried all the steel on his back.

B said: "Although I have a college diploma, I am honest in my work. I want these old banknotes and change. You can keep the big bills." After saying that, he picked up the suitcase containing the money and left.

C looked at A and B walking away, took out his mobile phone and muttered in a low voice while pressing the keyboard: "Although I am from a primary school education, but I do things..." The call was dialed: "Hey 110, I found the gangsters who robbed the bank. One was carrying a sack and the other was carrying a suitcase and they were all heading north!" After making the call, C walked into a self-service bank and deposited the money. I went out, took a taxi and drove south...

04

When a newlywed couple was sorting out their congratulatory gifts, they found that a friend's red envelope was obviously much thicker than the others, so they opened the red envelope first.

A note was sandwiched between a thick stack of cash, which read: One quarter congratulates the newlyweds; one quarter congratulates the baby on the birth; one quarter congratulates the baby on the full moon; one quarter congratulates the baby on the first birthday.

The wife said while counting the money: "This friend of yours is very interesting. He took enough money for gifts for major events in your life in one go."

The husband said thoughtfully: This guy wants to fool me into all the major events in my life with such a small amount of money, and I won't let him succeed. I have to think of a way to get him to send a few more gifts.

"What, do you still plan to find a new wife after the baby is one year old?" His wife looked at him dissatisfied and said.

The husband hurriedly covered her mouth and said: "No, no, no, I just plan to have more children in the future..."

05

The student climbed over the wall into the school and was caught by the principal.

Principal: Why not go through the school gate?

The student pointed at the clothes: Metersbonwe, don’t take the usual path!

Principal: How did you get over such a high wall?

students pat their pants: Li Ning , everything is possible!

Principal: How does it feel to circumvent the firewall?

The student pointed at the shoes: 特step, it feels like flying!

The next day, the students came in through the main entrance.

Principal: Why don’t you go over the wall today?

The student pointed at the shoes: Anta , I choose what I like!

Principal: Why are you not wearing school uniform?

The student lifted his pants: Semir , you can wear whatever you want.

Principal: Aren’t you afraid that I won’t let you into the school?

The student patted his clothes: No one can stop him.

The principal was furious: I will give you a serious offense!

Student dissatisfaction: Why?

The principal sneered: M-Zone , I have the final say on my territory!

06

I am a male, an only child, and just married. After dinner, our family discussed having children.

Dad said: It’s good to have a boy.

My wife held my hand: Well, let’s try to have a boy.

Mom said: It’s good to have a girl.

Wife: OK, let’s try to have a girl.

I said: What’s good, you won’t be lonely after having two children. Look at me, I don’t even have a biological sister.

My wife touched my head affectionately and said: Good husband, then I will try to give you a biological sister...

After the whole family looked at each other for five seconds, they were completely confused!

07

and my father had an argument at the dinner table. He scolded me: You have failed in love and career, so what right do you have to quarrel with me!

I became angry and replied: Your marriage failed and your career failed, why do you blame me?

Then these two very defeated people fell into silence.

After a while he asked me: Do you want a drink?

I said yes.

He said go and buy it, I don’t have any money.

I said I don’t have it either.

He said look at your potential!

So they started arguing again...

08

A medical school graduate applied for a job in a certain hospital.

The dean asked someone how to treat a bee sting on his forehead.

graduate Xiao Wang said it is very simple, just apply some disinfectant to the affected area.

The dean shook his head, and graduate Xiao Wang quit.

Graduate B entered, and the dean asked the same question again.

Graduate B replied that he needs to be hospitalized for at least one week, and he will have blood tests, electroencephalogram, electrocardiogram, color ultrasound, and MRI.

Dean, listen and said with satisfaction that you are welcome to work in our hospital.

09

accompanied my husband to a colleague's wedding. During the dinner, a colleague gave my husband a cigarette. My husband took the cigarette and picked up the lighter. Just as he was about to light it, I said without thinking, "What are you doing?" and then blew it out.

There was silence all around. Everyone looked at me, and I finally came to my senses.

In the blink of an eye, I took the lighter from my husband and complained: "I've always been the one to light cigarettes, how can I ask you to do it yourself?" Then I put the cigarette into my husband's mouth and opened the lighter to light it.

010

It was past two o'clock in the morning, and Ali was tossing and turning in bed but couldn't fall asleep... There was no sound of snoring beside the pillow.

How can I say that men are big-hearted? They don’t have to think about what to make for breakfast, what to buy in the market, and whether the water and electricity bills are enough... A series of trivial things in life, without thinking about anything, falling asleep next to the pillow, which makes me angry just thinking about it!

Suddenly Ali went up and kicked her! I kicked him awake...

He was startled by me and shouted: "Why are you kicking me?"

Ali said excitedly: "Look, you're so sleepy! You're even snoring. Don’t forget that my husband will come back in the morning and you haven’t left yet..."

Henan Happy Little Fish, a headline novice who likes to collect humorous jokes. I hope that the humorous jokes every day will not only bring you happiness, but also make you realize many truths in life. The road is long and long, and I will explore it from top to bottom. As I continue to work hard from now on, your support, attention, likes, and interaction in the comment area are indispensable. Here's a shout out: Thank you! The

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