3. When I was in my senior year, I went downstairs after self-study one day. I thought the person walking in front of me was my roommate. I sneakily ran up to him and kicked him hard in the butt. I also shouted: You actually studied by yourself?

1 Is the only reason to be single because you are ugly? No, not only am I ugly, I always think others are ugly!

2 If I meet you, I need to spend all my luck. Please stay away from me, I want to save my luck and make money, thank you.

3 When I was in my senior year, I went downstairs after studying on my own one day. I thought the person walking in front of me was my roommate. I sneakily ran up to him and kicked him hard in the butt. I also shouted: You actually studied on your own? ! The man rubbed his butt and looked back at me pitifully, and said tremblingly: Yes. After our eyes met for a few seconds, and I was hesitating how to apologize, the man replied: Brother, I'm a freshman, I won't dare anymore...

4 took advantage of his classmate to take a shower and changed his girlfriend's number on his phone to mine. At night, while lying in bed, I sent him a text message, "Hubby, I'm pregnant." I saw the guy suddenly turned over and got out of bed, smoked a pack of cigarettes, and asked someone in the dormitory to borrow money...

5 A colleague brought a cat and a dog to the office to play with. Another colleague wanted to stir up trouble and let the cat and dog fight for fun, so he hit the cat, and then said a very classic sentence: The dog hit!

6 I went to my girlfriend's house for dinner. Perform a magic trick for everyone at the dinner table. He shouted: "The time has come to witness the miracle!"

The father-in-law's chair fell down at the sound, and the whole family received murderous looks. Old man. Let me explain. I really didn’t make the chair...

7 One time, I needed to contact a classmate because I had something to do, but his number was not saved in my phone, so I sent a text message to another classmate who was very familiar with him, "Do you have XXX's phone number?" Then I waited patiently for a reply. After 5 minutes, I finally received a reply. I couldn't wait to open the text message, and it read, "Yes" in big letters. In desperation, I could only send another text message to this big brother, "Well, please tell me?" After waiting for another five minutes, I received a reply. I couldn't wait to open it again and read two more words: "Okay."

8 I saw a buddy was late in the morning.

So the teacher asked you what was the reason this time? Traffic jam again? The guy shook his head and said no.

It was too foggy when I went out in the morning. I passed by the school and didn't notice it. I walked past...

9 Lao Zhang went to the human resources department of another company to find his partner Lao He. He asked the waitress at the front desk.

Lao Zhang: "Hello! Is Lao He here?"

Waitress: "He has been out of the human affairs department for a long time."

Lao Zhang couldn't help being shocked when he heard about the human affairs affairs: "When did it happen? It was so sudden."

Waitress: "It happened last week."

Lao Zhang: "Let's go here So fast, I didn't even give him a ride."

Waitress: "It's okay, you can go find him, he's on the 18th floor."

Lao Zhang: "It's not convenient."

Waitress: "Oh, it's not convenient for him to see you during the day. I'll let him go find you at night."

Lao Zhang ran away in fear.

10 The chicken asked the hen: Why do humans have names, but we are all called chickens? The hen replied: Human beings have names when they are alive, but when they die they are all called ghosts. We have no names when we are alive, but we have many names when we die! The chicken said: Really, what are their names? The hen said: Large Plate Chicken , Pepper Chicken , Curry Chicken , White Chopped Chicken, Mushroom Chicken, Roast Chicken, Fried Chicken, Roast Chicken, Shredded Chicken , Saliva Chicken , Spicy Chicken , Soy Sauce Chicken ...

11 A mouse came into my house, and every day I rack my brains to figure out how to catch it. I used rat poison, but it didn't eat a single pellet, and my dog ​​ate every pellet left. This is not what I am most angry about. It comes in every day to rest on the sofa, leaves some evidence and then leaves. I blocked the door into the room, and it ended up chewing on the door in the past two days. Are you bullying me alone?

12 After dinner, my wife was playing with her mobile phone on the sofa, and I was washing dishes in the kitchen. At this time, my mother came to visit. I opened the door with a rag and walked into the house with her. Then she saw her wife lying on the sofa with a towel on her forehead. She pushed herself up with difficulty and said in a weak voice: "Mom, are you here?...

13 is engaged to her girlfriend, and according to the tradition of her hometown, she has to visit the grave to comfort her ancestors.So I accompanied my girlfriend to visit the grave, but I accidentally slipped and fell into the nearby grave pit. My girlfriend was so anxious that she rushed to the ancestral grave, kowtowed and begged for mercy: "!"

14 A brother had poor eyesight and went to see a doctor. The doctor took him out, pointed at the sun and asked, "What is that?" He said, "Too great!" "Yang." The doctor said: "You can see even that far, how far do you want to see?"

15 My surname is Zhu, I manage the computer room,

Someone called me once and asked: "Chief Chicken, are you in the pig room?"