1 I just weighed my weight and found that I had lost 100 kilograms. After a closer look, I realized that I had forgotten to put one leg on, speechless, and I was busy with me every day. 2 Before, I had a friend who asked me to borrow money for plastic surgery. I thought he turned

1 Just now, I found that I had lost 100 kilograms. After looking carefully, I realized that one leg had forgotten to put on it. I was speechless, and I was busy with this day.

2 Before, I had a friend who asked me to borrow money for plastic surgery. I thought he turned into ashes and I knew him, but I didn't expect that the surgery was very successful. I could no longer recognize who borrowed my money.

3 "I like to buy second-hand things, which are particularly historical and vicissitudes. The accumulation and accumulation of time make me feel their different charm."

"Speak human words!"

"Poor."

4 Winter, at the door of the unit. My colleague rode a motorcycle home after get off work, and happened to kiss with another motorcycle coming from opposite sides, and both fell to the ground.

In fact, nothing happened at all. My colleague got up and helped the car up and was about to leave. When he saw the other party still lying on the ground, he thought to himself: I want to cheat me, so he threw the car decisively and lay on the ground.

Half an hour later, the two of them were as cold as their grandson. The other party couldn't help but speak first: "It's nothing, just leave quickly if you have nothing to do. The weather is quite cold!"

5 just made her girlfriend angry, and she was lying in bed and reluctant to go out for dinner. I knew it would be impossible to force her, so I said, "Then I'll leave." I opened the door and pretended to go alone, hoping that she could keep up. After more than a dozen times, she finally stopped being indifferent and sat up and said, "Please wear a pair of pants and then act again, okay?

6 A playwright sent her script to the theater for review by relevant personnel. The editor said, "I'm sorry, we don't allow you to hear swear words like cursing in our theater. "

" There is no swear word in my script! "The playwright retorted.

"There is no in the script, but if it is brought to the stage, you will hear a lot in the theater. ”

7 On the way home at noon, the new beautiful colleague asked, “Brother, are there anyone cooking for you when you are home? "

I said I made it all by myself, so I went to buy groceries now, and then rode my bike away.

When I ordered the meal at a fast food restaurant,

female colleague came in... "Brother, do you go home to cook after you are full? "

8 My sister has a twin boy at home, one year older than my daughter.

When my daughter was 3 years old, she cried and said to me, "Mom, brother hit me." "

I brought the two little guys to my daughter and asked, "Which brother beat you? "

The daughter looked at this and that one, and cried: "I can't tell which one it is either! "

9 Every year at the end of the year, she is very busy, so she has been out these days. Sometimes she is so tired that she doesn't want to move, so she said to her little sister (the little sister is twelve years old and studying at my house): You are so old that you don't know how to wash dishes after dinner. You can't make anything else. Can't wash dishes? The next day, before we finished eating, she finished eating first, and cleaned the bowl she ate, and continued to watch TV...

10 saw on the Internet that a boss sent red envelopes when working hours, and all employees who grabbed red envelopes were fined 500! He was secretly feeling sorry for the scheming boss, and found that our boss also sent big red envelopes, as clever as me, and didn't grab them. , other colleagues involved were fined 200 each. The same reason is to play with mobile phones during working hours! !

11 The buddy used an old mobile phone. I have been using it for eight years. I have been falling countless times. The back shell was glued with transparent glue. It can still be used. The buddy said, it's really solid! As long as I can't throw it away, I will use it until it is broken! Then one day the buddy's phone was stolen. He was so happy that he finally had a reason to buy a new one! This is not a climax! The next day the buddy went to remove the trash, lifted the lid of the trash can, and saw a mobile phone. I looked at it carefully. It was his!

12 that day quarreled with my girlfriend, and I shouted: "To be honest, there are more people who are more beautiful than you, and more people who are considerate than you, but I was not moved. Why? "The girlfriend calmly said, "Because they don't like you."

I am sad.