Funny moment: my wife took out a bottle of wine and put it on the table, saying: I want to see you tell the truth after drinking

When I arrived at the company early in the morning, a girl was lying on the table, gritted her teeth, and kept mumbling "stinky man" and "dead man". I went over and asked her what happened. The girl said, "A man has confessed to me, and I am happy." I asked again, "Then why are you not happy?" Said: 'Can you please give me a nice word, if not, I will confess to the next one.'"

In the first self-study class in the morning, a classmate fell asleep all night, and I don't know which classmate said in his ear, "Card The balance is not enough, please go to the service desk in time and recharge."... Just after speaking, the classmate stood up and walked directly to the podium. The teacher was stunned: "Classmate, do you have any questions to ask?" Touching the trousers, I took out 5 yuan, and threw it to the podium, "Network administrator, give me 5 yuan..."

went to her girlfriend home with her wife for the first time. Hold it, it won't let you hold it. Her best friend explained: "Don't mind, it's afraid of life, don't let strangers touch it, and you will hug me if you come!" As soon as her best friend's voice fell, Satsuma jumped on my thigh, rubbed against me, and asked me to Tickle it. At this time, my wife's eyes, like a cold winter, enveloped me, a chill.

Husband came back from the college reunion, and his wife asked, "Has your class flower changed?" Husband said with emotion: "She is still exactly the same as when she was in college, nothing has changed."The wife asked sourly, "I haven't seen each other for more than 20 years, and it hasn't changed at all?" Get a facelift! "The husband rolled his eyes at his wife: "What I said was that she ignored me before, and she still ignores me now!" "

A certain organization has developed a car that can be invisible, and sent an agent to drive into the enemy's interior. The agent drove the car slowly into the enemy's interior. When he was secretly happy, the agent was surprised to find that all the enemies were holding The gun was pointed at him. He was puzzled and asked in horror: "I'm driving an invisible car, how can you see me? "The enemy sneered: "I can't see the car, but I can see you the fuck!" "

The company sent me on a business trip, which lasted almost a month. When I was going out, my wife was reluctant to part and said to me affectionately: Husband, I want to tell you three words before I leave. She must have wanted to say I love you, but I didn't expect my wife to be so romantic. Who would have thought that my wife said: old, true, point! Came to me with a child and said it was mine. Then my ex-girlfriend threw the child to me, and she drove away. I did a paternity test , and found that the child really belonged to me, so I took it alone. He has grown up. Now my son has gone to kindergarten , but he doesn't like to study. Me: "Good son, please, Dad, your test scores must not drop any more! Otherwise, I can't explain to your mother! "Son: "Dad, don't worry, I will definitely not drop again this time!" Look, this is my test paper..." Me: "Huh? Zero points? It's all down! "

My wife took out a bottle of wine and put it on the table, saying: ''I want to see you tell the truth after drinking.'' My wife saw me silently preparing to open the bottle cap.She grabbed the bottle and asked: ''What are you doing? ''I said: ''How can I tell the truth after drinking without drinking? '' She shook her head and said: ''Drinking hurts the body, come, you stand here. '' She led me to the back of the wine bottle and stood with a blushing face: ''Okay, you are now standing behind the wine, please listen to the question: Do you know what you are doing wrong? ''

(This article comes from the Internet, if there is any infringement, please contact to delete)