Welcome to meet me every Monday. In the 26 weeks of 2022, I will recommend you a comic - "Can't Answer".
This is a comic book that makes people chew the text and not want to look at the pictures.
As we grow older, everything around us becomes more and more complex. There are too many things in life that cannot be answered or answered.
Of course, it is more likely that the complexity of the environment has not changed, but that I myself have become more complicated.
Or to put it in a nicer way, my ability to understand complex things and relationships is better. As its name suggests,
's book does not give a clear answer at all about dealing with complex social relationships.
But it can still give us something in terms of "emotional counseling" and "human nature understanding".
After reading this book, you will become less anxious.
Because you discovered that many of the problems you are suffering from are also faced and entangled by ordinary people in the book.
We and our problems are nothing special, we are just one of many others.
However, whether the problem is not particularly serious or serious does not mean that we can despise our problems and ignore our feelings.
If a person can be emotionally stable, he must be very concerned about his emotions.
Treat yourself as you would a lover or a friend. Don't say unkind words to yourself, and get along with yourself with consideration and understanding.
After reading this book, you will feel the other side of human nature. The author of
concealed the real names of all the characters, and even gave some people pig head expressions, not even caricatures.
So this wantonness can be revealed between the lines.
has no high-sounding rhetoric or pretentious pretense.
are all truths that hit the soul.
You see, an anonymous person said
"People will not like average-looking people just because they are average-looking, but they will still like good-looking people."
You may be thinking - it turns out that good-looking people are still very important. ah.
After all, it is a very simple truth. We have had the love of beauty since ancient times.
But in fact, "like" is a very simple emotion. We will like many people in our life, and its meaning is very limited.
- For example, I also like puppies, but I will definitely not raise one in the next three years because I don’t have the energy and environment to take care of them.
- For example, I also like yoga, but I will not want to become a yoga instructor before I retire, because being an enthusiast can bring me a sufficient sense of accomplishment and the greatest happiness.
- For example, I also liked some people, but most of them were not together or even in contact with each other anymore. Because they met briefly and supported each other for a while, it was beautiful and enough.
You see, an anonymous person said
"There are too many good-looking stupid women now, and it is difficult for you to find any charming women who are completely worthy of sharing their life income equally with them."
Frankly and shamelessly, this sentence can It hit me probably because in a certain relationship, I once thought about sharing the income from life equally with the other person.
Is this idea wrong? I think the answer depends on when the idea was conceived.
- If it is the early stage of an intimate relationship, then the purpose is too strong. Sincere and pure feelings can be encountered but cannot be sought, but feelings that are purely for a certain purpose should not exist and cannot last.
- If it is the middle and late stages of an intimate relationship, it is a matter of course. Marriage is also a kind of cooperation. Teammates cannot share the gains equally. It is difficult for each other to think that their efforts have been equally rewarded, and the balance of the relationship will be unbalanced.
all models are wrong, but some are useful.
The purpose-action model is useful, but it certainly won't be right in every scenario.
In addition, I also want to remind myself that right is right and wrong is wrong.
The boundary between wrong and right may be blurred, but just because you admit it, the mistakes will be reduced and the consequences will be mitigated.
You will learn a lot from thinking deeply about those ugly words.
Capture meaningful inspiring insights.Optimize immediately to evolve quickly.
You see, an anonymous person said
Some women think very highly of themselves, so you should be nice to her. She also always feels that she should be able to find someone better than you, and she wants to calculate the opportunity cost of being with you. When she thinks about it, she feels that being with you is a huge sacrifice, so she is very arrogant and cannot get along with you at all.
Ask yourself, I don’t care much about opportunity costs.
Because I always quickly and confidently determine the best option, and then quickly trial and error.
is a typical modern fast-food emotional model, which is an active choice or a passive choice.
- lacks the patience to understand a person deeply and become close to and trust them.
- It becomes increasingly difficult to let down your guard, because the only thing harder than becoming close to someone is to be separated from someone close to you.
Ask yourself, I am not pampered, but I am difficult to get along with.
Pampering actually represents a sense of security and indifference.
And I am very insecure and care about feelings and results.
therefore went to the other extreme - closed and restrictive.
You must know that from a scientific perspective, chatting and gossip-it is also an essential element for human evolution and emotional construction.
"Think before you act, speak and do things to achieve your goals" is the principle I have always adhered to.
However, this principle cannot make people feel comfortable in intimate relationships.
Growing in relationships with others, above.
Thank you for reading. I wish you warm sunshine and hope in the 27 weeks of 2022. will see you next Monday.
