a succulent , Liang Juan | Author
Zhang Jing, Keane | Edit
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Last week, the " Annual Comedy Competition 2" premiered.
is just like the first season, and has received countless praises.
The most discussed work comes from "Aqi and Acheng" "The Fragility in the Night" .
The whole process kept laughing, and then at a certain moment, suddenly burst into tears.
"Workplace Chicken Baby" Brother Guo is a representative of outstanding workers.
No matter what the workplace problem is, you can give yourself a full of blood and grin.
This is right, on the night of my 30th birthday, before the cake was eaten, the leader called me back to the company to work overtime, because he helped his colleague Xiao Xie modify the PPT.
sympathy in the face of Xiao Xie: Brother, you still work overtime on your birthday, isn’t it too miserable?
He just took out the lighter, turned it on and then blew it out, and it was his birthday.
Then continue to smile and help Xiao Xie change PPT.
Just as he was frantically pumping the two of them, there was a snap, and the office suddenly had a power outage and it fell into darkness.
At this time, Brother Guo suddenly seemed to have become a different person, wailing and crying in the dark :
I work overtime every year on my birthday. I am 30 years old today and am still working overtime...
Xiao Xie was shocked and thought there was a third person in the office.
But when the lights light up, Brother Guo returned to his bright smile.
drew a big pie for myself and began to draw a beautiful blueprint for the age of 30.
When Xiao Xie asked if there was overtime pay for overtime, Brother Guo looked serious:
overtime, why should he pay for overtime?
When the light went out again, Brother Guo cried and asked his soul:
does not pay me overtime, so why am I doing PPT crazy? !
But as soon as the light is on, Brother Guo instantly becomes a dedicated worker:
Overtime is to realize the value of life!
Just like that, Brother Guo seamlessly switches between the two states of optimism and depression, allowing the audience to immerse themselves in a crazy way, and they can't help laughing and crying.
He seems to be telling us:
Optimism and confidence are left for others, and the helplessness and fragility in the dark can only be left for yourself.
Ma Dong evaluation: "This is the healing ability of comedy."
"The greatest merit of comedy is that you tell your own story, but you touch others or see others."
Many netizens also gave high scores, indicating that empathizes with :
The fragility in the night, keeps watching and crying, and beats 5 stars angrily.
plays me, is it playing me?
The fragility in the night is so resonant, it is me who plays!
But some people complained, saying that cannot understand :
The protagonist's emotions have changed too exaggeratedly. Is there really anyone like this in life?
Isn’t it normal to work overtime? What are some good emo? This performance was too hard.
In fact, this phenomenon presented by Brother Guo is called "smile depression" in psychology.
Can people who love to laugh also be depressed? What is the difference between it and the well-known depression ?
Today, Psychological will talk to you about what many people ignore: Smile depression.
"TA looks so optimistic, can you actually feel depressed?"
If you are standing in front of you with an depressed patient , what expression and state do you think he will have?
Taciturn, depressed, painful and desperate?
Or avoid dealing with family, friends and strangers, and will you just lock yourself up silently?
is really just that?
In 2017, Lincoln Park band lead singer Chest Benington committed suicide at home at the age of 41.
This news is like a thunderclap on the ground, shocking all fans and many netizens.
The impression of Chast shines on the stage, with infinite charm, giving countless people courage and strength.
From the videos and photos posted by his wife about him before committing suicide, it can be seen that:
Chest always maintains a charming and handsome smile, and his mood always looks beautiful.
Even his closest friends and family members had no idea that there was any abnormality in his emotions during his lifetime.
After learning about the story behind him, many people sighed:
His songs inspired many confused young people, but his pain also exists.
He comforted many people with music, but he couldn't comfort himself. After the incident of
, "Depression has no The topic of face ( Depression has no face) ”, many netizens shared the sad stories of those who "love to laugh" around them suddenly ending their lives:
"We were dating together yesterday!"
"He was still telling me jokes yesterday!"
"My daughter was still saying at noon today that she would go to the beach with me in the future"
TA looks so optimistic, can she actually feel depressed?
In fact, we all misunderstood a fact:
Not all patients with depression are as depressed as we imagine.
Some of them are very "good at" using a smiling mask to cover up their true, helpless and even desperate selves.
Unlike typical depression, patients with "smile depression" do not collapse in bed every day and lose the ability to interact with people.
On the contrary, they may seem to have better social abilities than ordinary people.
But because of this great concealment, people around them cannot discover it as soon as possible, so the treatment opportunity is always delayed, resulting in tragedy.
Behind "I'm fine" is "Save me"
A 16-year-old girl from the UK, Maisie, like Chast, suddenly ended her flower-like life by suicide without warning.
After in-depth investigation, the police confirmed that Maisie suffered from a certain degree of depression during her lifetime.
But Maisie's family and friends could not accept this conclusion:
She is so lively and cheerful and kind to others, how could she have depression?
Until later, when my sister Amy was sorting out her sister's relics, she found a note that said "I'm fine" (I'm fine).
And when she accidentally turned it upside down, the words on the note turned into: "help me" (Save me).
This may be the helpless night that she sent a message carefully.
Unfortunately, the message she sent was misread "taken for granted" by everyone.
And what's even more terrifying is that for them:
Smile is not just an armor, but also a weapon to aim at one's own.
We may have tried it too. When we were very sad, we tried to squeeze out a smile at others, but the result was that we could only become more and more depressed and tired.
But this tormenting experience has become a routine torture for these patients every day.
After "smile", there is a deeper loneliness and depression.
is like a nightmare, lingering.
In the end, I can only leave this world like Maisie, with this smiling mask.
Many people may be confused: Why do they hide their true selves?
isn't tired?
of course tired.
Studies have shown that about 1% People who are troubled by depression try to hide their own condition. There are many reasons, such as:
. Shy to admit that they are depressed
Even today, many people still think that having psychological problems is a shame. Therefore, many people with depressed smiles are unwilling to let others know about their situation.
They think it is wrong to show their weakness to others. So try to escape this fact by "deceiving" yourself:
You see, depression is not that bad either.
is fine too, you see I smile so happily.
. Can't get the understanding of others
For patients with smiling depression, they may have bravely expressed their true emotions, but they got indifferent and even said coldly:
Why are you always unhappy?
Why do you have negative energy every day?
Instead of exposing your weaknesses to be hurt, it is better to wrap yourself up.
Smile has become the way they learnt in this process.
. Unwilling to be a burden to others
For many people with depressed smiles, they are very afraid of troubleing others.
I feel that only by trying to show a friendly side can others like themselves:
I'm fine, I don't want to bother you.
I just want to open it myself, so you don’t need to comfort me specifically.
Perhaps only by smiling and hiding one's negative emotions and real needs can one be "loved".
Can people with smiles save themselves?
Psychology professor Peng Xu once mentioned that Smile depression can be divided into two types:
One is to deceive others with a smile. They are often worried that others will see through their pain and depression, so they act as if nothing happened and silently endure loneliness and sadness.
Another way is to deceive yourself with a smile. They habitually deny their negative emotions and pretend that everything is fine. Over time, they feel out of reality.
"If you are not really happy, please remove the protective color of smile."
This is the beginning of every "smiling depressed person" saving himself.
You must understand: Crying and depression are not shameful things.
"Depression" is actually like a cold or fever, it just caused a disease, it reminds us: Remember to care for yourself.
If we keep suppressing it with a smile, it will make us ignore the reasons for it and prevent others from caring for us.
So, try to generously admit and accept your negative emotions, and then slowly tear off the mask of smiling and tell yourself:
This is the real me. I can cry when I want to cry, and laugh when I want to laugh.
Secondly, you can take the initiative to seek help, you are not fighting alone.
You can find some trustworthy people or professionals to open your heart with him, express your vulnerability, get more care, love and help, and try to use the power of others to get out of the black hole of emotions.
Help will not cause damage to the relationship. On the contrary, it will be easier to form a healthier relationship.
How to help the smiling depressed people around you?
We also saw this message in the backend of the public account:
I also have friends around me who look optimistic and have expressed depression to me. How should I help her? What should I do if I am afraid that I will help the wrong one and will have a counterproductive effect?
You can try these methods:
. Be a quiet listener
If you don’t know how to help him, just be a quiet listener, let him trust you unconditionally, and promise to him that you will not mention this matter to anyone, gives him a sense of security and an outlet for venting .
. Don’t make error responses at will
"Think about it, your situation is pretty good, isn’t xxx worse than you?" "Toxic comfort" will only make the situation worse . Because for them, knowing other people's misfortunes will not make them happy, but will instead feel why there are so many unfortunate people in this world.
So, if you don’t know how to comfort me, Please try to agree with their emotions and do not make judgments and responses at will.
. Give them positive encouragement
In fact, when they actively seek help, they have taken the first step to change themselves. You can try to encourage the other party: "I know it is hard to overcome difficulties, but you are not alone, and we are with you."
Written at the end
When watching "The Fragility in the Dark" with a friend, he said:
"You look at this person and smile like a madman."
This may be the portrayal of a smiling and depressed patient.
looks sunny and likable. But behind the stiff smile, they are facing their suppressed selves tiredly, fighting the increasingly intense depression.
is full of sadness like a thorn in the throat, but it is impossible to say. I can only cry helplessly at night, and then continue to smile during the next day.
Many times, we care too much about other people's feelings, worry that others don't like the depressed self, and fear that others will leave us because of our "excessive" requests.
But in fact, in the eyes of those who love you, you who are crying are as cute as you who are smiling, and they are the real you.
Maybe one day, when we take off the mask of smiling and bravely say "I'm not happy", it is the closest step to happiness.
So, when you don’t want to laugh, please don’t force yourself.
Try to talk about your unhappiness in the comment section. Here, you don’t need to disguise, just be the most real self.
Because, the world and I love you.
