Hello everyone, I am a boxing sister who is a professional movie fan.
Ma Tianyu openly talks about his tragic past again.
But this time it was more specific, about what happened after his father passed away -
He locked himself in his room and wanted to commit suicide for two or three months.
I looked for friends and consulted a psychiatrist for this, and finally struggled to stand up...
I still remember the last time, Ma Tianyu faced the camera and wanted to express regret as briskly as possible -
If I didn't think so when I was four or five years old Eat chocolate...
would not have helped buy sleeping pills at her mother's suggestion, and used the remaining money to buy food, and would not have lost her mother forever.
Some subtle changes have appeared in public opinion.
Last time, apart from feeling sorry for Ma Tianyu, the viewers almost shouted angrily at the program crew for consuming his past and uncovering his scars.
This time, although there were not many, questions popped up from unknown corners: Why did Ma Tianyu tell his past everywhere?
You and I both understand the unspoken subtext: Isn’t Ma Tianyu really just selling out the hype?
- It seems that there are only two answers in the entertainment industry. You take the opportunity to hype, and I consume maliciously, without showing any real human emotions.
I dare not say that I understand, but please do not distort the behavior of the person involved.
Scars may be something you want to tear open on your own initiative; grief cannot be completely released with just one expression.
01
Ma Tianyu is certainly lucky. In 2006, he changed his destiny with the show "Come on, Good Man".
From then on, in front of me were handsome men and beauties in gorgeous clothes, stepping into the entertainment industry where they were making money every day.
But he is also unlucky.
is not so much a tragic experience that has been mentioned repeatedly in the past and seems to only exist in film and television works;
is better to say that when he really grasped a lot, he was powerless to deal with those regrets.
was born on July 12, 1986 in a rural village in Dezhou, Shandong. The house where Ma Tianyu lived since childhood was just a family with bare walls.
's description is a bit thin, but fortunately, the program team left a video of the first-line visit.
This dusty loess bungalow in front of us recorded several changes in this family -
's father was an alcoholic gambler who owed a lot of money to others and chose to run away.
Along with the furniture, the youngest brother in the family was also taken away by creditors who came to demand money. His whereabouts are still unknown.
With such a husband, my mother’s mental state will naturally not be much better.
On a Mid-Autumn Festival , she said to Ma Tianyu, who was only four or five years old: "Go and buy a box of sleeping pills for your mother. The remaining money can be used to buy chocolates."
How do children know what kind of medicine it is? Just eat it and it will make you lose your shit.
At this point, Ma Tianyu lost his mother, father and younger brother.
In the eyes of ordinary people, the "Mid-Autumn Festival" symbolizes reunion. To him,
it is just an "August 15th" that requires visiting graves and weeding.
As a result, he could only live with his grandparents and two sisters since he was a child.
The family was so poor that they couldn't let the blame go. For his sake, his sister had to give up her chance to go to school and work early as a waiter.
But in the end, Ma Tianyu dropped out of school because of 3 yuan...
Later he decided to go to Beijing to make a living. He didn't have a penny, but his second sister stuffed him with 25 yuan before boarding the train.
In this metropolis, Ma Tianyu worked as a chef and did many hard jobs.
The former has been his dream since childhood: six hundred yuan a month, the most profitable career in Ma Tianyu's mind.
As for the turning point of fate, I participated in "Good Man" after being persuaded by a friend.
Before Ma Tianyu became completely popular, his grandfather, whom he regarded as the "lighthouse of life", passed away suddenly.
There is news that grandpa heard some not-so-good rumors back then, such as being kept by Feiyan Feiyu, which made the already sick old man's condition worse.
When I mention it again after many years, I still mostly blame myself.
If there is any elder who has truly enjoyed the benefits of his child becoming popular, it is only the father who has recognized him again.
Although, for many years, Ma Tianyu has not completely forgiven this man who abandoned his family and left without saying goodbye.
Finally, when he started to try to open his heart... his father also passed away in a hurry.
Hemp ropes only pick thin ropes to break, and bad luck only picks up misfortune.
Speaking of regrets, you can’t count them all on your fingers -
Ma Tianyu has never taken a family photo before, and the only photo of his mother is one that he doesn’t know who lost it;
finally made a lot of money, but Grandpa has not enjoyed many blessings in his life;
and his father will shake hands and make peace, but are forced to face farewell and start to take care of the whole family alone...
02
I don’t know if it is an illusion, but Ma Tianyu didn’t get what he wanted in the first half of his life, so later on I have been trying my best to avoid possible regrets for half my life.
takes everyone on trips with his family whenever he gets the chance. There were even as many as 20 people on one occasion.
In addition to traveling, he also rents houses and cars.
As a pair of dear sisters, they also help take parenting classes and learn to take care of their niece.
We are as close as a family of three, and we have even made some mistakes.
Just because they traveled together in Thailand and Ma Tianyu doted on her children, the paparazzi mistakenly thought that she was having a child from a hidden marriage and was happy to be a father.
To my friends, Ma Tianyu is also a person who has no bad reviews in the circle.
Occasionally appear on variety shows, and he is always called "Almighty Little Brother" because he does too many things and helps too many people.
If you say you are good to your family and friends, there is still the possibility of "extracting emotional value" from the transaction.
But he treated the strangers he passed by the same way as before -
When catching a train at the high-speed rail station, he took the initiative to help carry a heavy box;
When he was shopping in West Lake , he never forgot to go to the blood donation vehicle when passing by;
When nothing happened, , would go to the orphanage to do charity in a low-key manner;
and the little performing artist girl he met in a foreign country...
Ma Tianyu didn't want to delay everyone's travel schedule, so he didn't immediately step forward to help. But then I couldn't bear it any longer and decided to go back the same way to find him.
He said that when he saw the little girl, he somewhat reminded himself of himself when he was a child.
He said, I just want to give her a hug.
All emotional expressions are just a few words.
Of course, the dedication to family members is also "without asking for anything in return, they just want to be good".
echoed the somewhat vulgar sigh: People who have been injured know better what pain is, and people who have been caught in the rain want to hold an umbrella for others.
Unfortunately, reality is cruel -
Some things can make up for it, such as the first family photo in life;
But there are still unforgettable flaws in the family photo, which probably represent holes that are not so easy to heal.
The imprint of Ma Tianyu’s childhood experience is naturally not limited to those positive, positive and energetic “goodwill”.
There is also isolation in life, cognitive caution, and emotional worry.
Ma Tianyu always stays at home alone, going to bed early and getting up early, eating three meals on time, watching TV shows and watering the flowers.
has long since settled into the stable routine of an "elderly".
has social difficulties like him and does not go out unless on important occasions.
People who are not familiar with him may find him cold when they first meet him.
But he may not enjoy such "solitude".
During the Spring Festival of the previous year, Ma Tianyu was alone. He didn't watch the Spring Festival Gala or visit relatives, so he locked himself in his room and did nothing.
——This awkward mood is probably his background.
does not contact other people, not because he does not look forward to company, but because he is worried that he will disturb the people around him.
is like his measured INFJ personality.
hopes to gain the understanding of others, but when faced with the intrusion of others, there will be a rejection mentality, so the cycle repeats.
treats feelings the same way.
I have seen flowers fall, so I feel sad when they bloom; I am afraid of losing, so I don’t want to get them from the beginning.
03
Looking back now, Ma Tianyu’s father’s death made him face irreparable loss once again.
So in the past few years, I was probably really tired, so I chose to stop temporarily. In the past four years, there was only one costume drama.
still looks like a bright and complete person, but the brokenness inside can no longer be hidden.
But the most rare difference in the story is that after experiencing so much pressure that could knock him down, Ma Tianyu is still trying to save himself.
This is the premise for him to talk about the past again and again -
Ma Tianyu wants to get out of himself.
So he will write about his uncle's departure with a gentle brushstroke.
So he will talk about the influence of his original family and hopes to use faith to get rid of the shadow of the past.
Comments also did not forget to add: "This is my experience, I don't know if it is right or not."
So he took the initiative to tear open the scars on the show to tell everyone:
"I don't have so many unbearable past events, and I am not afraid of others mentioning them." My home. "
Although, being able to say it does not mean that you have come out.
Maybe I have to wait until one day, while I am basking in the sun and humming a song, I suddenly think of this matter, and I only feel that there is a vague layer of veil between me, and then I really let go.
Instead of being like Ma Tianyu -
pondered over and over again in his heart, wanting to tell it in a relaxed way, but in the end he only received distressed looks and the uneasiness of ruining the atmosphere.
But how easy is it to “come out”?
Letting go is more like an ideal state, an end point that is difficult to reach.
opens the faucet of emotions, which can be regarded as completing the first step of release.
no longer resisted mentioning it, and began his inner "desensitization treatment."
I believe that one day, "Ma Tianyu" will become an adjective, which must represent sunshine.
——You don’t have to look for the sun in others, it can also be your own salvation.
