If you truly forgive the other person, you will make peace with yourself in your heart, let go of your complaints, and begin to truly act for yourself to gain happiness, thereby activating your inner strength and becoming your confidence that you can make yourself happier.
After forgiving betrayal, marriage still has a long way to go. Even if the betrayer knows that the couple must be together in the future and walking the rest of their lives together is necessary, it is still difficult for the betrayer to convince themselves to accept their partner.
There will be a similar voice in my heart: "Although I chose to forgive him on the surface, the fact of his betrayal is unforgivable. I will treat him as a stranger in the future. As long as he ensures that his family life is stable, he will no longer have expectations for him emotionally."
When the betrayer realizes that the next marriage path still requires the couple to repair their relationship, have emotional connections, and be able to face various situations in future life together.
But the relationship between husband and wife seems to be difficult to improve, and they find it difficult to forgive their partner. When they feel that their partner cannot be trusted by themselves, they will fall into more powerless pain.
with it will be more complaints and accusations of the betrayer.
But is this useful? Most people who have been betrayed will understand after choosing to forgive that complaining too much about betrayal and partner is useless and meaningless.
So the betrayed party will turn to ask yourself in your heart: Why can't you forgive yourself, why is your only life so bad, why is you betrayed, and why is your life unhappy?
When the betrayer forgives his betrayal and still complains about his partner's infidelity. Betrayal of his own marriage is shameful and hateful, these complaints cannot help the betrayer truly change his marriage problems, and perhaps it is difficult for the partner to make changes.
Why? Complaints will bring more internal friction to yourself, and marriage cannot be repaired.
Is it difficult to be persuaded by the betrayer not to complain?
Only by finding this reason and finding a breakthrough to let go of this complaint from the betrayed's own inner self can the betrayer get out of the situation of complaining about powerlessness and disappointment in life after forgiveness and betrayal.
can adjust the "you still have complaints after forgiveing betrayal" mode from two aspects, so that you can see yourself better and treat yourself well.
first accept your complaint status and then replace it in a better way.
On the first, on the one hand, on the other hand, on the other hand, on the other hand, on the other hand, on the other hand, on the other hand, on the other hand, on the other hand, on the other hand, on the other hand, on the other hand, on the reason for the complaint.
First of all, when you feel that complaining makes you very tired, try to spend some time with your complaints.
Internal friction is often when you are doing something, or thinking about something in your mind, and at the same time you feel that you shouldn't do it. You shouldn't have that idea. Doing this or thinking with such a thing will bring you bad results.
Forgive your partner and complain about his betrayal. While complaining about your partner, you feel that your complaining state and complaining about your marriage disappoint you. Knowing that your complaining method is terrible means you are in the process of consuming it.
Interestingly, if you want to get rid of complaining mode faster, don’t let yourself excessive internal friction. The more you complain, the more you are concerned about internal friction.
is like your feet are entangled by unknown creatures in the water. The more you break free, the tighter you are bound, the more you are, it is equivalent to adding a new internal consumption cycle on the basis of internal consumption.
Don’t rush to deny yourself in this way. Don’t blame yourself for not really forgive, don’t blame yourself for not adjusting your mood and state, don’t blame yourself for forgiving betrayal but not allowing yourself to get a good marriage.
accept the fact that you are unwilling to forgive the other party and that you are dissatisfied with your partner's betrayal.
Seeing that I have been hurt by betrayal, I can bravely choose to forgive and give my marriage another chance, which is great.
Then let yourself and your complaints for a while, and feel you gradually calm down from the initial anger and unwillingness.
Feel the peace in your heart. You no longer resist your not doing well enough. You completely accept some of your inner dissatisfaction and grievances.
You are also fully aware that there are still some problems in marriage, and you are slowly learning how to solve these problems. Your complaints are not just complaining, but also a driving force for the efforts you want to change your marital status.
The second point to understand is that the existence of complaints must have its benefits to you.
After the self-state adjustment is completed, it enters the "heart-wrenching" inner analysis stage. So from another perspective, the feeling of complaining for a while can be repeated and felt a few more times, so that the feeling of inner peace will be more familiar to you and used.
complaints have helped you express?
Judging from your marriage contract, what you have decided in your heart is that the couple should be loyal to each other.
You have been practicing loyalty in your marriage, but your partner has not abide by this contract, so you think you are complaining about his infidelity, complaining about his failure to fulfill the contract, and not taking on the responsibilities and obligations of the marriage.
In fact, when you choose to forgive him and continue your marriage, your behavior is to accept this reality. So why didn’t you accept this reality psychologically? Apart from the disloyalty to him mentioned just now, what else can you feel unfair and unwilling to accept it?
When you are complaining about your partner's betrayal, the state of your relationship is: he is the wrong party, he has to pay the price for the problems in the marriage, he has to give you the attitude and behavior needed to admit his mistakes and confess, and he has to take responsibility for all this, and this is the benefit of complaining.
complaining while allowing you to avoid "face the side that you cannot adapt to when facing the reality of betrayal".
There is a crisis in marriage, which is different from your previous marriage and family life, and also from your marriage ending. This sudden change makes it difficult for you to face and seems to be unable to face it.
If you don't complain about your partner's betrayal and let your partner repent and repair more actively, you will have to face the feeling of helplessness and confusion, and you will be even more afraid of how to continue your marriage.
Because of these "benefits", the complaining behavior pattern will be fixed in the state after you forgive yourself for your betrayal.
When you see these "benefits", you will find that these benefits can only be considered superficial benefits. If you want to truly solve your worries and concerns, you still need to return to marriage management and self-development.
and focus on marriage management. From worrying about marriage problems to using your own actions to improving the marriage relationship, it seems that taking action to repair the marriage is unfair, but in fact, you can better control the direction of the marriage.
While paying attention to self-development, while working hard to repair marriage, do things that can improve yourself, be independent, and be confident, so that you can have a very rich inner self, and these inner continuous accumulation will become your self-confidence.
You will no longer be overly afraid of marriage crisis, because you can have the ability to guarantee your life, you can get exposure to more life and more possibilities, and you have more strength to give yourself direction and happiness.
Summary: Forgive betrayal, and to make yourself happy, you must not blindly seek stability of superficial relationships.
Don't complain about the relationship while you want it to be stable. These are things you need to understand before choosing to forgive, especially after you forgive.
Your forgiveness is not to maintain a relationship or a person, but to your own happiness.
If you say you know how to make yourself happy, but you can't control it, if you want to complain about your partner and his betrayal, you must first let yourself see that you are relying on complaining about the "benefits" that brings you.
admits the benefits of complaining to you, and then you realize that such benefits do not bring quality help to your situation or real happiness.
It is very important to learn to reconcile with yourself and choose to forgive yourself. Maybe you don’t have this awareness yet, but we must let ourselves slowly accept this view and practice it with great care in our future life.
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