text/Xiamo
01, volume beginning
Marriage is like a marathon. You have to run a long journey to reach the other side of happiness.
After a woman enters marriage, she must learn to manage interpersonal relationships in a big family.
When a woman marrys a man, the woman will be like a "interventor" in this family. She must carefully adapt to everything after marriage, including maintaining harmonious relationships in the family.
In a big family, the relationship between family members is like organizing a mess, and you need to sort it out carefully and slowly. The most cautious one is to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
The mother-in-law is also a mother, but the relationship between the two is too subtle.
The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are two people who don’t know each other and have no relationship. Living under the same roof and becoming such a close identity requires learning to deal with the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
In marriage, smart women will not talk too much about "love" with their mother-in-law.
02. Women who care too much about "love" live carefully
In marriage, women who care too much about their mother-in-law's feelings will live without self.
After getting married, the man still lives in his original family, and most of his differences come from how to get along with women.
But a woman has to face the management of her husband's marriage relationship, the maintenance of her mother-in-law's-law relationship, etc., and she needs to spend more time communicating in her family.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are two generations, with different growth environments and different life concepts.
In life, the two people have different positions, many things and many decisions, and they cannot achieve complete consistency.
If a woman blindly pleases her mother-in-law and lives her life completely according to her ideas. This not only makes you very tired, but when your mother-in-law's requirements get higher and higher, women are often overwhelmed.
Bondalev said: "The root of all human suffering comes from the lack of a sense of boundary."
Women should face the sense of boundary between the family, rather than just giving in.
The daughter-in-law, who cares too much about "love" and mother-in-law's feelings, lives cautiously in marriage, and she will live without her own living space.
When a woman does not show mercy to a mother-in-law who crosses the line, the mother-in-law will know that she has crossed the line and know how to respect her daughter-in-law in her future life.
In this way, in the future, the daughter-in-law can truly be herself and live easily.
03. It has no blood relationship with my mother-in-law, so there is no need to talk too much about "love".
In a family, there are family members with blood ties as the bond, and there are lovers with marriage ties as the bond.
The daughter-in-law is a part of the family and one of the creators of family happiness.
When getting along with my mother-in-law, if a woman talks too much about "love" and does not know how to express herself, she actually cannot integrate into her husband's house well. Moreover, it is impossible to establish a truly good way of getting along.
The mother-in-law in " Double-sided tape " is a very strong woman. She came to her son and daughter-in-law's house and seemed to be working hard, but in fact she was trying to "renovate" her daughter-in-law in various ways.
Her strong joining constantly instills her son the idea of being virtuous, obedient, and thrifty, making the relationship between husband and wife that was originally mixed with oil has become contradictory.
Son Yaping feels that his wife Lijuan has more and more problems, and it is all because of his bad wife.
In this way, Lijuan could not live comfortably and freely at home. She always felt that it was not as good as her mother-in-law, and being kind was the most important, but her mother-in-law eventually destroyed her happy life in the future.
When a woman gets along with her mother-in-law in marriage, she should not blindly follow her because of her "love" and should not just please her.
The wife is the hostess in the family. When she gets along with her mother-in-law, she also shows her bottom line of principles. Only by expressing yourself can the husband and mother-in-law understand her real needs and prepare to create their own independent space.
In marriage, a woman has her own personal freedom, which is the beginning of a happy marriage.
04. A smart woman never talks about "love" with her mother-in-law.
The beauty of marriage requires the joint efforts of the couple.
If one of the people's efforts is not done, the other person will always be too tired. When a smart woman manages a relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, she will ask her husband to resolve the conflicts together and not meet her mother-in-law.
Bai Yang once said: "For the sake of the continuation of love and the happiness of marriage, the wife must please her husband, and the husband must also please her. As for how to please it, it is a high-level art."
A smart woman knows how to make men give and take responsibility, and also knows how to guide her mother-in-law to respect herself.
Women, don’t bear too much pressure from mother-in-law by themselves. Many times, dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law depends on the man’s responsibility and protection.
A good relationship comes from mutual respect in any relationship.
If you just talk about "love" to your mother-in-law, but endure, compromise, and are not good at expressing your own self. Then, in the end, it is difficult for her to be respected by her mother-in-law.
In marriage, women should learn to express their own demands and learn to express their lifestyle they want.
At the same time, when the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law arises, the woman should have a good talk with her husband and analyze the pros and cons. Don’t let the two have a happy marriage be affected by the "mother-in-law".
If a man has not realized the seriousness of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, a woman should take some measures and measures to increase the man's vigilance.
Do not choose to ignore the conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law that should be dealt with, do not let it ferment, and do not dare to say something because of "love". Only by honest communication and communication can we know each other more clearly and get along better.
05. Summary
Su Qin said: "It is not that you will love you desperately."
Women, in managing family relationships, don't just please, but learn to manage yourself well.
Marriage belongs to two people, and men must shoulder the responsibility of protecting and taking care of their wives.
If you just talk to your mother and cannot balance the relationship between your wife and your mother, then the marriage will face a serious crisis.
Women should be respectful and filial to their parents-in-law in their marriage life, but if their mother-in-law interferes excessively in your marriage and life, don’t always obey.
Instead, we must know how to express ourselves, fight with the reasons, defend our right to be independent and control our lives.
Don’t talk too much about "love" and express yourself bravely, in order to get along better in the long years.
Don’t overly talk about "love" with your mother-in-law, but be honest and sincere. Only in the future can we establish a model of getting along with each other, and truly understand how to respect each other and gain more happiness.
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Author: Xia Mo, a new emotional tutor, psychology scholar, a popular emotional writer on the entire network of over 1 billion, a happy woman manager, focusing on emotions, gender, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for more than ten years.
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