1
Xie Lan is the operation director of a food company with a monthly income of 20,000 yuan. Xie Lan is an only child, her parents are both teachers, and their pensions are not low. Before marriage, Xie Lan bought a house in a prime location in the provincial capital.
while Luo Ning works in a communications engineering company. He can barely be considered a small leader, and his salary is only half of Xie Lan's. Moreover, Luo Ning's hometown is in a small village on the southern border. His parents work as farmers and he has an unmarried sister at home.
However, the huge difference in family background cannot resist the spark of love. Luo Ning, who is tall and handsome, captured Xie Lan's heart.
Xie Lan's parents disagree with this relationship. In their opinion, the daughter is so outstanding, she is enough to match a better man. And they were even more afraid that their daughter would be tired of Ronin's family.
But Xie Lan insists that Luo Ning is a good man. Because Luo Ning is very filial.
Long Ning's filial piety not only means "it's not easy for my parents", but also really implements specific actions. I give my parents 2,000 yuan a month, buy new furniture, change seasons and buy clothes, travel thousands of miles home to visit during holidays, and I usually care about my well-being.
Xie Lan was moved by Luo Ning's filial piety. In Xie Lan's opinion, those who know how to feel sorry for their parents must be soft, responsible, and cherish their family. Xie Lan wishfully believed that she would definitely be happy when she married Luo Ning.
Xie Lan's parents are also relatively open-minded. Seeing that their daughter is so determined, they did not strongly object, but just let them get along well. However, they still told Xie Lan not to indulge in empty sweet words and to be more comprehensive in view of people.
When Xie Lan and Luo Ning reached the stage of discussing marriage, Xie Lan couldn't be happy. Because of Luo Ning's request, she felt that she was really too naive.
2
On a normal night, while the two were walking by the river near the community, Luo Ning suddenly told Xie Lan very seriously that it was time for them to get married.
Xie Lan felt it a little abrupt and joked, "Are you a proposal?" Xie Lan asked just after a question, just wanted to hear a few heartwarming words.
But unexpectedly, Luo Ning said seriously, "Proposals are for others to see, only formalities, extravagance and waste. Do you and I still use this?"
Xie Lan's smile froze. When Luo Ning said this, it seemed that she was very pretentious. "What do you mean by getting married?" The process and a lot of preparation are required for parents meeting, getting engaged, bride gifts, wedding rooms, weddings, etc.
"Let's set a time to communicate with both parents and let them meet and chat. But I hope you understand that it's not easy for my parents. I have never lived a good life in my life. The bride price will be enough. Don't have a big feast for the wedding. Please witness it with your close relatives and just hold a few tables." If Luo Ning hadn't looked serious and serious, Xie Lan would have thought he was joking.
"What does it mean?" Originally, Xie Lan had no intention of having a big feast for the wedding. First, she was low-key and didn't like to be arrogant, and second, her parents also said that she would just invite some close relatives at the wedding banquet.
But this was said as if Luo Ning was informed. It was not to ask her for her opinion, but to ask her to carry out her attitude of cooperating, which made Xie Lan feel uncomfortable.
"Then the situation in your family, giving more or less do not affect you, and your parents do not need it. Even if your parents ask you for it, will it be ours again? Why do you go around a big circle?"
Xie Lan snorted, "You might as well say you should get the certificate directly."
"I'm just thinking that, I'm afraid you don't agree." Luo Ning added a sentence without fear of death.
Xie Lan asked again, "What do you mean by the wedding house? Where do we live?" Xie Lan bought a house of 148 square meters before marriage, and now she lives on it herself. Luo Ning also bought a house, but it was relatively small, only 80 square meters.
"If you are willing to squeeze in a small house with me, just live in my house. I don't mind. Otherwise, you will live in your house. It just so happens that your house is big and there are many rooms. My parents can live in it when they come, and then rent out my house." Luo Ning said with great analysis.
But Xie Lan couldn't hold back the smile on her face, and she couldn't even pretend to be calm.
"You are planning to get rid of the proposal ceremony and not give a bride gift. Just have a meal at the wedding banquet, and you even have to live in my house. Do you have to do a little effort and effort to marry me?" Xie Lan likes Luo Ning, but she is not stupid, otherwise she would not be able to be the position of the operation director.
She was hit by Luo Ning's words tonight, and suddenly realized that reason had been pulled out of her emotions.
"I know I should give you a better wedding, but it's not easy for my parents. Now they are old and have no pensions and no guarantees. Do you still have to ask them to give a big bride gift? They can't take it out, so don't make things difficult for them." Luo Ning felt that Xie Lan was harsh, and her voice raised several degrees, which attracted people passing by to look back several times.
"Because it is not easy for your parents, I have to pay for it everywhere. The gift is more than wealth. Have you ever thought about how you can prepare the gift yourself, why do you need to take it out of your parents' pockets? No matter where the gift ends up returning, you are ready to be the attitude you should have." Xie Lan's voice trembled because of anger.
"And the wedding can be simple, but the attitude towards the wedding should be solemn. You now treat me as a cabbage in the vegetable market and pack it up and take it away. Is it appropriate?" Xie Lan said excitedly.
"I don't mean that, it's just that my parents are not easy. I don't want to increase their burden because of my marriage." Luo Ning was still quibbling.
"Okay, it's not easy for your parents. Then, if you get married and have children, take my surname, and let my parents raise you. I won't bother your parents." Xie Lan blurted out in anger. It’s not easy for Luo Ning’s parents, so is it easy for her parents to raise her?
Always be filial to her parents and marry her home to serve his parents for nothing. This is his filial piety. Xie Lan couldn't help asking herself: Now that she is so accommodating, will she have a good life after getting married?
"Why do you say this? Whose child is the last name of the woman!"
"Go to get married by yourself, I won't marry you." Xie Lan turned around and left. After staying for a second more, she felt that she had the urge to push Luo Ning down the river to wake up.
After this quarrel, Luo Ning did not take the initiative to contact Xie Lan. He determined that Xie Lan was old and would not have a temper for too long.
Half a month later, Xie Lan called Luo Ning and proposed to break up.
3
Because it is not easy for parents, I skip the bride and wedding to get the marriage directly, and even the house is a problem with the woman. Undoubtedly, men are indeed filial to their parents, but this filial piety is not based on their own efforts or abilities. Instead, let the woman unconditionally understand, cooperate unconditionally, and give up her needs unconditionally.
Can you confirm that men love women?
If a man loves a woman, no matter what his own conditions are, when he wants to marry a woman, he should first have a respectful and caring attitude, and then discuss matters related to the wedding.
Can you confirm that a man is filial to his parents?
If a man is filial to his parents, he should work hard to give his parents a better life, rather than relying on his partner to be filial to his parents, and relying on his partner to provide support for his family. To put it bluntly, a man's human nature is another form of selfishness.
From the story of Xie Lan and Luo Ning, we can understand two truths:
Filial piety is a beautiful virtue. As a man, you can work hard to give your parents better protection, but you cannot let your partner sacrifice for granted. Filial piety is a core spirit of Chinese culture and a beautiful virtue that society has always advocated. Children are filial to their parents, which is the scripture of heaven and the meaning of earth. I believe everyone will support this.
But in marriage, a man's empty filial piety may not be happiness for a woman. For example, Luo Ning in the story is filial to her parents, but she lacks ability, so she can only complain about Xie Lan everywhere.For example, after marriage, some men are filial to their parents, and favor their parents everywhere in family conflicts, and sacrifice the interests of the small family to meet their parents' requirements.
If a man is such a "filial piety", women should be cautious. After all, a man’s filial piety to his parents cannot be equated with his wife who will be kind to him.
Getting married means that two people work together to live a good life, not that if the other party has good conditions, they have to provide a foundation for their own family. Love and marriage are difficult to say that there is an absolute match. A combination of a good family may not be happiness. Working together with a big gap in family background can still make your life feel more enjoyable. The key lies in attitude and cognition.
If the family gap between the two parties is large, when talking about marriage, they are already interested in asking the support of the party with a better family to support them, and you can imagine it after getting married. Families who want to get support will have their own thoughts and excessive demands. After all, your family is indeed better than ours, and it is time to get married now.
And those who have been requested will also feel tired. Once the conflict that has been accumulated for a long time breaks out, it may destroy the marriage.
There is a gap in family background and income, which is a common model for family combinations. But some people just live well. Because the young couple know how to plan and work together.
As an elder, the rich help the young couple when they are in a hurry, and the families that cannot be supported by money will lend a helping hand when the young couple needs to take care of their children. Although each one contributes money and the other contributes, the essence is the same and it helps it to the point.
"Hello, you can support the bottom" is too terrible. If you encounter such an object, you will take a detour.
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