Psychologist Wu Zhihong said in "Why does home hurt people": Love is constantly transmitted in such a cycle, from our original family to our new family; the pattern of getting along with our lovers is also repeating the pattern of getting along with our parents.
If his parents have a good relationship, the couple is loving and respect each other, he grows up in a loving environment and receives the correct education of his parents, he often will not take detours. Moreover, he will also learn from his father how to treat his wife and how to cherish his wife.
If she is a girl, she can take her father as an example, know what kind of man to look for, and learn from her mother's successful experience in running a marriage.
However, if you find that the family you love is not upright when choosing a spouse, such as having the idea of superiority of men and inferiority of women, preferring boys over girls, or violent tendencies, you need to be cautious and observe carefully to prevent the upper beam from being straight and the lower beam from being crooked.
As there is a saying on the Internet: In this world, there are many "weird" with the upper beam not straight and the lower beam not crooked, and fewer are " White Lotus " that are not stained with mud.
Moreover, even if he is a white lotus that is not stained with mud, he should be careful to marry. If your parents-in-law are unreasonable, have a bad character, and like to interfere with your son's life, it can still cause a lot of trouble to your marriage.
Marriage is a major event that concerns you throughout your life, and it directly affects the happiness of your children. Instead of taking risks with your marriage, feeling regretful after losing a bet, and getting in a dilemma, it is better to be cautious from the beginning and find someone who suits you as much as possible.
"Dad, I'm at my boyfriend's house and I want to go home. Can you drive to pick me up? I can't buy the ticket to go back, but I don't want to stay here for a minute."
Seeing the message from my daughter, Uncle Zhao, who was originally chatting with a friend, immediately left, drove overnight, went to her daughter's boyfriend's house, and picked up her daughter Zhao Liping.
01.
Zhao Liping is 25 years old this year and has a boyfriend who has been talking to for nearly two years. Before the National Day holiday came, Zhao Liping told her parents that she wanted to go to her boyfriend's house and meet her boyfriend's parents. If everything goes well, she plans to put the marriage on the agenda.
Mr. Zhao and his wife agreed and told their daughter to be safe. If something is wrong, they will immediately send him a message and he will pick up his daughter.
Mr. Zhao's wife told her daughter that she must pay attention to her boyfriend's parents, especially her boyfriend's mother, and the influence of her mother-in-law on marriage is also of great importance.
"I won't marry anymore. I don't want to be a fucking babysitter. I don't want to be their free nanny. Not only do I have to work hard and serve my parents-in-law, but I also have to be beaten by my husband." After recovering from the sensation, Zhao Liping told everyone about her experience of meeting her boyfriend's parents and told her parents how terrible her boyfriend's family style is.
She witnessed with her own eyes how her boyfriend's father slapped his wife hard, how she insulted his wife who had married her for 28 years and had a son in unbearable words, and also heard her boyfriend's comment, "Isn't it just a hit woman? This is normal."
02.
The story is like this. On the morning of the 1st, Zhao Liping took the gift she bought and took the four-hour train with her boyfriend and arrived at her boyfriend's old station. When leaving the station, my boyfriend didn't see his mother picking her up, and he seemed very unhappy.
After arriving at her boyfriend's house, her boyfriend came up and asked her mother why she didn't pick her up, complaining that her luggage was too heavy and no one helped her carry it.
"Sorry, your grandma is sick. I need to go to work during the day and go to the hospital to take care of your grandma all night at night. I can't take it anymore and I'm tired and sick. I have to go to the clinic and get some medicine. I don't have time to pick you up."
Seeing that my boyfriend's mother looked very bad, Zhao Liping felt distressed. Seeing that the fruits and snacks she liked to eat were placed in the house, she didn't blame her boyfriend's mother at all, but her boyfriend kept muttering and complaining, and even peeled her mother and handed her apple to the ground.
"That's his real mother. Is he treating his mother like this? Don't say that his mother is sick and has no time to pick us up. We are all adults, and we are not unaware of our way. As for losing our temper with our mother for these trivial things?"
. Her boyfriend's mother just smiled and then began to be busy preparing lunch. During this process, she made three calls in total, all of which were for her husband, that is, her boyfriend's father.
"It's not that I don't deliver food to you, but that my son has brought his girlfriend back. As a future father-in-law, it's not good if you don't meet your daughter-in-law!"
It turned out that my boyfriend's father was still playing mahjong outside and refused to come back, so he asked his wife to deliver food. In the end, her boyfriend's mother made three calls and persuaded her with kind words, and finally asked her husband to agree to come back.
03.
"After the third call, his father came back for half an hour. He got angry with his mother as soon as he came back. He asked his mother why he didn't go to the hospital today and took care of his mother who was ill in bed. He said that my boyfriend's grandmother called him to complain."
The boyfriend's father's yelling was deafening, almost scaring Zhao Liping. Her boyfriend's mother also felt that the impact was not good. She explained to her husband in a low voice that she was at work and taking care of the elderly. She was sick and unwell and wanted to take a day off. She went to go tomorrow, and pulled her husband to calm him down and have dinner quickly.
Unexpectedly, her boyfriend's father not only did not understand his wife, but instead scolded her with unpleasant words. The more he scolded her, he became more and more angry. In front of Zhao Liping and her son, he slapped her boyfriend's mother backwards, hitting her on the chair, and her face quickly swollen.
"This has made me angry. When I saw him looking at him coldly and eating on his own, my heart was really cold. That's his mother! He just watched his father be bullied by his father, and he could still eat it?"
When Zhao Liping heard the unfilial words from her boyfriend, "Don't make a fuss, my father beats my mother, which has long been commonplace. Who made my mother always ignorant?", she immediately sent a message to her father and asked her to pick her up.
"Do it all out, let me tell you, if you dare to marry him and be beaten to death by him, I won't care about you." After hearing what his mother said, Zhao Liping nodded and made up her mind to break up.
04.
Psychological therapist Satya said: A person’s personality traits, life views, spiritual character, way of thinking, and living habits are deeply influenced by his original family, many and even decisively.
In " Double-sided Glue ", Li Yaping's parents transformed Hu Lijuan, and Hu Lijuan resisted. Li Yaping accused her of being ignorant, just because Li Yaping lived in an ideological environment where men were superior to women and had long recognized this idea. He saw with his own eyes that his father was using his gender advantages to reach out and eat and enjoy the benefits of marriage, so he naturally hoped that he could have a wife to serve him like his father.
The impact of the original family on people is subtle and far-reaching. How many years have you known him for most? How can it be worthy of his parents' education for him for 10 or 20 years?
Therefore, when choosing a spouse, you must look at his mother's status at home and understand her future parents-in-law, so as not to jump into the fire pit.
END.
Today's topic: Do you have any good suggestions for Zhao Liping? Welcome to share your views in the comment section.
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