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cheating is the most desperate and unbearable thing in marriage.
reader Xinxin left me a message saying that if she had been betrayed ten years ago, she would have left the man without looking back, but she is in her thirties. She has devoted more than ten years to this family and this marriage, and she has two underage children. If she gets divorced, she can do it again. What should her child do? Single parents, without a father or mother, will become the label of their lives and affect all aspects of them.
She hated her husband, not that she hated him for getting involved with other women, but that she hated him for destroying her and her children’s original stable life, hated him for turning herself into a woman who cannot live without and has a bad life, and hated him for letting her children live in a conflicting and unhappy family.
She said she didn't love that man anymore, but she still had to do everything she could to win him back for her child. She is willing to forgive his cheating and is willing to give him another chance to start over. As long as he and the third party are completely broken, she promises that she will not blame him. But she never thought about what happened after forgiveness.
She said that she was afraid to think about it because returning does not mean that she will not cheat again. She doesn’t know if she will try to solve it when she faces the same problem again and whether she has the courage to solve it. She asked me, why do men betray marriage? If they had no confidence to spend their lives with their wives from the beginning, why would they delay their wives and hurt their wives?
I can't answer this reader because men are more realistic than women. They say that when they love, they really love them, and when they don't love them, they really don't love them. They will even tell you that they have never loved you. The reason they marry you is because they do not know that they will meet true love after marriage.
Yes, they are so shameless, so shameless that they are justified.
The husband cheated on him. The wife did not want to divorce for the sake of the family and the children, and in order to keep the husband, they would do everything possible to break up with the third party. They will take various methods to put pressure on men, and most men will also break up extramarital affairs after weighing the pros and cons and return to their families.
There is a kind of extramarital affair that a man can't even break. When he meets such a man, you will find that all your retention will be useless. Even if you give everything for him, he will not care about his old love and have a slight soft heart.
From the moment he cheated, he no longer had you, no longer had this family, and even didn't even care about the children. Everything he did and every word he said was for him and a third party. This is an extramarital affair that tortures the original wife. The more you tolerate it, the more he will be arrogant.
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Another reader of mine, Xue Ling, met such a man, in the words of her ex-husband: "I have no feelings for you anymore, it is natural for me to fall in love with her. I don't care how you treat me or how you hurt me. I just ask you not to hurt her. I am willing to divorce you, you can do whatever you want."
Don't look at the man's words so affectionately, in fact, his marriage to Xue Ling has nothing but children. The house was built by the elderly and the furniture was dowed by Xueling's parents' parents' family, which has been more than ten years since then. The elderly are sick all year round, and they have no savings at all if they are unable to make ends meet.
Divorce, except for children, Xueling doesn’t know what else she can have, but if she doesn’t want children, she will have nothing.
She tried to win him back. If one person's strength is not enough, she mobilized the old people on both sides. Under the pressure from both parents, he came back, but he regarded Xueling as his enemy. On the surface, he dealt with the old people on both sides, and secretly, he was still inseparable from the third party.
, extremely sad and angry, Xue Ling stabbed the matter out. Facing the fingers of relatives and friends, the man said that he was wrong, and turned around and moved out of his home in the name of working, living with his mistress.
Later, he also took the initiative to return to his family because of a dispute with his mistress, but he ran out again a few days after he came back. Seeing the man and mistress getting deeper and deeper, Xueling finally agreed to divorce him. The man left the house with nothing, and Xueling took her children to live with her parents-in-law and raised the children together.
As a married rural girl, Xueling had no choice. Fortunately, her in-laws were sensible. Even if Xueling divorced a man, her in-laws agreed that the house belonged to Xueling and her son.
When Xue Ling sent me a private message, she divorced the man, her ex-husband for eight years. In the past eight years, the ex-husband has been living with the mistress, not married or had children, and it seems like a couple, but not a couple. When the epidemic came, the ex-husband was unemployed, and the mistress, who could not bear the hardship and could not bear the loneliness, quickly clinged to another man, and her ex-husband was dumped.
The man who had nowhere to stay found Xueling, hoping to reconcile with her, but Xueling refused.
Eight years have passed, and their youngest child is also in high school. Xueling has found a housekeeping job in the city, and she doesn't want to have any involvement with that man anymore.
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Xueling said that the father cheated and the divorce of parents had a great impact on the children, and even if they didn't say it, they would feel uncomfortable. Especially when parents break up, they will face a dilemma when they are stuck in the middle. What's better is that her ex-husband chose to "get out of the house with nothing" and has not interfered with their mother and son's lives for the past eight years.
My daughter has already worked and will have her own boyfriend and her own marriage life in two years. As for the son, his relationship with his ex-husband is also very weak. She didn't know if her ex-husband had any regrets, and regretted that she had spent eight years on the mistress, and regretted that she had spent eight years raising a woman with aquatic tendon flowers and children of the mistress. She said she did not regret it because she would not get real happiness with a man like her ex-husband.
Today’s topic: If you encounter betrayal, will you choose to forgive?
All the characters in the article are pseudonyms. If there are similarities, it is a coincidence.
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