Susan Forward once said: "For manipulating parents, the marriage of their children is extremely threatening. They regard their children's spouses as competitors for their children's feelings and have fierce wars with them. In order to take into account the relationship between the two sides, their children are often attacked from both sides."
Many in-laws and father-in-law do not understand one truth, that is, you don't like your children's other half, and you are in trouble for them, but in fact, you are asking for trouble for your own children.
Whether it is a man or a woman, when they are troubled by their spouse's family, because the other party is an elder, it is difficult to directly contradict him, and they will place their hopes on their partner, hoping that their partner will protect them and deal with their own family. If the partner cannot do it, or even ignores the parents-in-law, whether it is a man or a woman, their dissatisfaction with their parents-in-law (father-in-law and mother-in-law) will rise to dissatisfaction with their partner and marriage.
Once the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and father-in-law and son-in-law evolve into a conflict between husband and wife, and the couple is in a state of disagreement, it may trigger a marriage crisis.
In a failed marriage, no one is the winner. Whether it is a man or a woman, they have lost their lover and their happy family. Their children have to become children of single-parent families.
As Tu Lei said: "In general, a mother truly loves her son is to love her wife more. When talking about anything or problem, she will first criticize her son instead of her daughter-in-law."
If you really love your children and hope they will live a happy life, shut up and blame your children's other half, respect their children's other half and their family, and make less trouble for their children. Don't put them in the dilemma of choosing you or choosing marriage.
"Dad, can you drive to pick me up my mother and I? And your granddaughter. I want to go back to confinement. When I finish confinement, I will divorce him."
Hearing Ms. Dong's words, Ms. Dong's husband and in-laws were all panicked and persuaded Ms. Dong to calm down and not joke about marriage. Ms. Dong was too lazy to pay attention to them, but just asked her mother to help pack up and prepare to go back to her parents' home.
01.
The reason why Ms. Dong wanted to divorce during her confinement period and let her newborn daughter become a child of a single-parent family is mainly because she really can't see the possibility of happiness if she continues to live.
"I bumped into a selfish and selfish parent-in-law who prefers boys over girls and has a lot of trouble. What's scary is that you have a husband who can't tell you clearly. If my husband really loves me a little and really considers this little family, I won't be so disappointed, nor will I want to divorce so soon."
Thinking of the sweet past between the two of them when they were in love and the many promises he made, Ms. Dong only felt regretful, regretting that she was not careful enough to choose a spouse. She did not observe him and his family carefully, so she married the wrong person.
"My parents love me very much and respect my choice in marriage. Although my mother told me that she didn't like my mother-in-law, and felt that the other party was arrogant and difficult to talk to, and it seemed difficult to get along with, but at that time, I didn't think so much at that time, and didn't realize what a bad mother-in-law would have like to marry, so I still married."
Fortunately, when Ms. Dong got married, she firmly demanded to buy a house in the provincial capital and refused to live with her in-laws. Otherwise, her marriage would not last long and would have to light up the red light.
It was not until this time that Ms. Dong became pregnant and gave birth, and she really encountered the trouble of conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
02.
Ms. Dong was pregnant, and her mother-in-law came. However, she not only did not care about taking care of Ms. Dong, but instead kept talking about her son as a topic of three generations of single-birth in the family. She blew indirectly and wanted Ms. Dong to check the gender of the fetus, saying that the family's financial conditions were limited and she could not afford to raise so many children. She only wanted grandchildren, not granddaughter.
When she heard her mother-in-law's words, Ms. Dong felt furious. She couldn't understand. It was the 21st century. How could anyone still have the idea of favoring boys over girls? In addition, Ms. Dong is the pearl in her parents' eyes after all. She was spoiled since she was a child and grew up. She had never been angry. She was not the kind of person who was willing to swallow her anger, so she directly retorted and made her mother-in-law angry.
When Ms. Dong is about to give birth and needs someone to serve her confinement and take care of her children, her mother-in-law will refuse: "If she gives birth to a grandson, I apologize to me. In the future, let me live at home to support her, I can consider taking care of your children. If it is a girl, you can do it yourself!"
After hearing this, Ms. Dong became even more angry. She did not expect her mother-in-law to serve her confinement, but invited her mother.
"At this time, his attitude was already disappointed. Not only did he always accuse me of being a younger generation, and always contradicting the elders, making his mother angry, but he also disliked me for giving birth to a daughter and talking about the second child with me. He shut up after being criticized by me."
Originally, Ms. Dong lived a comfortable life during the confinement period, but what made Ms. Dong could not bear it was that her in-laws would not serve her during the confinement period and not take care of her children, but she also ran to Ms. Dong's house with the banner of celebrating the festival.
03.
In-laws arrived on the evening of September 29th. Before coming, no one greeted Ms. Dong, but, judging from her husband's reaction, she clearly knew it.
"My parents-in-law brought a lot of clothes, and there were winter clothes. It was obvious that they wanted to live for a while. My husband was busy cleaning the room for his parents, and he didn't want to explain it to me. This made me very angry."
When my parents-in-law came, he didn't do anything and wanted to use Ms. Dong's mother, who worked hard to serve her daughter in confinement and took care of her granddaughter, as a free nanny, she couldn't suppress her anger.
"My dear mother, hurry up and cook, remember to add more spicy food. My son and my husband love to eat spicy food. There are so many people in the family, how can you only consider the taste of your daughter when cooking?"
Ms. Dong grabbed her mother and called her husband, asking her husband to choose one of two: "Is it your parents to get out, or you get out too, you choose, give me the answer within ten minutes."
When the husband was as always and wanted to mix with him, Ms. Dong's mood completely collapsed, so the scene of her calling her father to pick her up.
"Now, my dad hasn't arrived yet, my in-laws are anxious and apologized to me, and my husband is anxious, and I ignored them. My husband has no choice but to promise me that he will send his in-laws away tomorrow morning, so that I can give him another chance for my daughter. My mother advised me to calm down. Forget it, when I am out of confinement and my health has completely recovered, I will think carefully about whether to go or stay in marriage!"
04.
Tu Lei said the best relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, between mother-in-law and son-in-law, you must do two sentences, treat each other as your own care, and treat each other as respectful.
The care you regard as your own child is that your son is a son, and his daughter is also pregnant for ten months. Why do you say that my son is raised by one hand? Although he is raised by two people, it is also the flesh that falls from his body. You have to have two people hurt you, and you even have to feel more painful for your daughter-in-law. I have to treat it as a relative in my heart, but I still have to treat it as a guest.
If you can't handle your relationship well with your children's partner, it's easy to put your children in a dilemma and have to choose one of you and your partner.
They chose you, and the marriage will be gone, and life will be very painful. If you see it, won’t you feel distressed? Don't you feel guilty? Being kind to your children’s other half is both for yourself and for your children.
END.
Fengyun Please discuss: Do you have any good suggestions for Ms. Dong? Welcome to share your views in the comment section.
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