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Text: Shili
Illustration: From the Internet
"I am 30 years old today. I am not ugly and have a low education, but why can't I find a partner? I have no requirements or standards for my partner, just look at it. Now I am very confused and don't know what to do in my future?" Two days ago, a reader friend sent a private message.
I sighed when I saw this private message.
For this friend, the reason why she has always been single is actually the problem lies in her requirements for her partner.
It seems that she has very low requirements for her partner, but in fact, the highest requirement is often the highest requirement without specific requirements.
In reality, those who often say that they have no requirements for their partner often have the highest requirements for their partner.
But they did not dare to put forward these requirements in detail, just because they were afraid that people around them would question and discuss them.
If you don’t believe it, just introduce them to a partner, and they will definitely be able to find out a lot of problems and problems.
For love or marriage, you must learn to understand yourself and then have a clear criteria for choosing a spouse. Such behavior is not only responsible for yourself, but also for the other party.
In fact, women who will be "single" for a long time usually have these common characteristics
Because they are single for a long time, they are becoming more and more independent.
Women who are single for a long time are often particularly independent. They can do anything, so they gradually do not need men.
friend Xiaomei once said: "Women have been single for a long time. They not only learn to cook and wash clothes, but also learn to change light bulbs and repair water pipes. They can live a beautiful life by themselves. How can they find a man who makes trouble for themselves?"
Because women are becoming more and more independent, they are becoming more and more picky about their partner's standards, and they would rather be insignificant than be indiscriminate.
As the saying goes, "High-quality singleness must be far better than low-quality marriages."
In fact, they are not that they don't want to fall in love, but that they have never met the opposite sex they like.
Because they have an independent foundation, they will only choose the men they like.
so this increases the difficulty of getting out of singleness, allowing them to repeat the same mistakes again.
If all their friends are single, she is the only one who is single.
They will say, "I am single, I am proud, everything goes with the flow."
They will say this, not because they are really proud, but because they want to hide the embarrassment of being single, and they don’t want others to see her loneliness.
But I don’t know that love and marriage must not be casual.
If everything goes with the flow, it is very likely that you will die alone.
Because of two suitable people, the fate of meeting together is limited. If you meet someone you like and go with the flow, then it is very likely that you will be useless.
In fact, many times, we don’t really want to be single, but we don’t meet the right person and just let us get out of singleness.
We also want to have love, but many times it doesn’t go as we wish.
When a woman is single for a long time and becomes more and more independent, the more they may feel that they don’t need a man.
Because men can do things, they can do them by themselves and manage their lives independently, so naturally they no longer have the idea of getting out of singleness.
is afraid of disrupting your life because of falling in love.
The longer a woman is single, the more she will be in conflict with her attitude towards love.
They want to fall in love and long for the romance of the two world, but they are worried that love will change their life state and break their carefree single life.
The reason why many single people in reality dare not fall in love is that they are unwilling to change their current lifestyle and are afraid that they will not adapt to the new life.
so they began to choose to escape and live alone in the personal world they built.
Why do I have no object? Why do I want a partner? They spend every day in such self-questioning.
We are always afraid that our lives will be disturbed by others, but we don’t know that life will be more exciting.
For women who are single for a long time, their hearts are extremely conflicted.
When watching others in pairs, they will extremely envy and long for a relationship, and want to have someone to love and accompany them, and do not have to be alone.
And when they have love and relationships, when they see others playing carefreely, they will also recall their freedom and begin to regret it.
In fact, they will do this, which is easy to understand.
Because people are like this, things that cannot be obtained are the best. Only when they truly lose them can they know how to cherish them.
It seems that marriage can be with anyone, and it can't be with anyone.
A woman will only become more and more confused about love after being single for a long time.
Even some women will doubt themselves because they get older and become confused about marriage.
When it comes to falling in love, they often start to be picky.
This looks OK, why don’t you give it a try, but then I thought about it and then I just forgot it, it’s not suitable.
At that time, they had many requirements and rules.
is also because of this pickyness that they missed the right person who really suits them.
As they grow older and talk more and more around them, they will doubt themselves and start to think about the meaning of marriage.
At this time, they may choose a marriage that they will settle for, because in the eyes of her long-term single, she may be able to marry anyone at this time.
So they started a crazy blind date, but they didn't know that imagination was beautiful, but reality was cruel, even though they thought that getting married was just a matter of dealing with life.
But they still find it difficult to suppress their hearts, and then they start to be confused again and again.
At this time, they were very confused and entangled. They felt that anyone could get married, and it seemed that no one was suitable for getting married.
actually, for these friends, you need to understand one thing.
Qian Zhongshu once said: "In the field of choosing a spouse, there is an unwritten but very interesting rule: the person who loves the most and never forgets the most is often the person who is not worthy of him or her. In fact, there are not so many male gods and goddesses, but people who are not worthy of appearance, education, ability, family background, social status, etc.; a person's ultimate companion is often the best and best person within his range of choice. Any long-term relationship is an accurate match after value sorting."
In fact, the person who is most suitable for you must be by your side. Don't be too ambitious and throw away the watermelon and pick up sesame .
——END
Today's topic: "Do you think it's right?"
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