Q: Li Xueqin said, "Only making money is the source of security and happiness." Do you agree? Chen Man: I reluctantly agree with removing the word "only". Take my personal marriage psychological counseling as an example: what can really bring me happiness is that visiting has ind

Q:

Li Xueqin said, "Only making money is the source of security and happiness." Do you agree?

Chen Man:

Remove the word "only", I reluctantly agree.

Take my personal marriage psychological counseling for example: what

can really bring me happiness is that visiting has indeed gained and grown up with me, and it has become better than before. What can really bring me a sense of security is that I continue to learn and grow in this industry, and while accumulating the duration of individual cases, it is indeed helpful to visit and answer questions.

and many times, as long as I have enough time, I will do case analysis and evaluation purely in the form of public welfare.

Make money and survive is one thing, but gaining self-satisfaction is another.

From a psychological perspective, a person's sense of security is related to object constancy and mentalization level .

Object Constancy: that is, the perception of happiness

Mentalization level: that is, the ability to deal with problems flexibly

Emotionally, you can feel that you are loved and cared about, while allowing each other to be independent and not invade each other's freedom. This object constancy comes from emotional independence and attachment, not money itself.

can view the problems and difficulties you encounter from multiple angles and perspectives. Instead of getting stuck in the stubborn and falling into the secondary thinking of "black or white", letting yourself get into stress trauma and unable to get out of it. This is something that money cannot be given, and it is also one of the factors that a person can gain happiness and security.

is like many people who are trapped in emotional pain, no longer happy, no longer trust feelings, and lack a sense of security. At this time, it is not money that can get him out of the pain.

, but whether ta can look at this relationship from multiple angles, and whether it can independently distinguish the failure of a relationship from the future relationship.

earning money can at most help him escape the pain for a while, and it cannot directly help him get out of the pain.

So, when a person falls to the point where he must only earn money to bring a sense of security and happiness, then I think it is quite sad:

is both an individual sorrow;

is also a sorrow of the times.

For individuals, if the care, trust and acceptance between people cannot compare to the sense of security and happiness brought by making money;

If the emotions between people must be based on money first, then they can experience safety and happiness;

Then "materialization of each other" will become the destiny of the individual.

Because everyone's feelings can be "sold at a price", and everyone's sincerity can be "buyed and sold in quantity", people are no longer people, but commodities. What kind of happiness and security does a product have in it?

For an era, everyone is driven only by capital interests and lives under the control of capital;

may spend a lifetime making money, just to survive and be a "cow and horse" and be a leek;

does not have personal hobbies and dreams, and does not have the driving force to contribute to the development of the times. Everything is only for money.

No one will be willing to talk about love anymore, and no one will be willing to give birth to the next generation. Because talking about love, getting married and having children means spending more money, and also means being a "cow and horse" for a longer period of time. All of this is not a good investment.

So how can this era continue to develop?

And how can people in this era be happy and have a sense of security?

is like now that more and more people choose to be single and not have children.

So do you think there is a possibility? I mean it is because everyone has fallen to the point where they can only rely on making money to maintain a shallow and fleeting sense of happiness and security?

Of course, I admit that making money can bring you a certain sense of security and happiness, after all, people need to survive.

But true sense of security and happiness are often things that you can't buy in the gap of making money -

For example, when you reunite with your parents in the distance during holidays, eat the soup made by your parents by your parents;

For example, when you talk to your friends about the pressure you have encountered recently, and get sincere condolences and comfort from your friends;

For example, when you practice your little hobbies and interests, you have made considerable progress;

For example, you have independently overcome a certain problem and gain great self-esteem satisfaction;

…

So, there is no problem making money, but a person's sense of security and happiness is definitely not just about making money.

You might as well put aside the definitions and labels of others, explore and explore more, and believe you will find something that truly brings you happiness and security.