Ai Ai met her boyfriend Xianda at a friend’s party. The wise man looks very steady and honest. He works in a state-owned enterprise with a monthly salary of about 10,000 yuan. He once had a marriage history.
Ai Ai works as an accountant in a private company, with a monthly salary of about 8,000 yuan. Their appearance is equal, they are middle-aged and can be regarded as a handsome man and a beautiful woman.
Ai Ai is a girl with less emotional experience. She has a gentle personality and is relatively independent. She also has suitors, but there are very few people who make her feel.
When I was in college, Ai Ai had experienced a short relationship of only 3 months. He just said that he broke up because of a quarrel and said that he had broken up and there was no relationship.
Half a year ago, Ai Ai met a boy through a chat software. During the communication, he found that he liked him very much. After a month of chatting, he went to the boy's city to meet and had sex.
Although this was Ai Ai's first time, the boy's attitude was very clear afterwards and he could not forget his ex-girlfriend.
Ai Ai was very injured, but she did not bother the other party and turned around and left.
She understands that it is irrational to have a relationship before it is confirmed. While blaming himself, he made profound reflections, reminding himself to be cautious in the future, and also warned himself that things have come to this point and cannot be remedied, and he cannot repeat the same mistakes in the future.
has met a wise man now. Although it is a bit macho, it is generally a good choice.
Ai Ai cherishes it more.
The father of Xianda died of illness two years ago. Now he and his mother depend on each other and live together.
Not only can he feel that his relationship with his mother is very good, but also during the relationship, Xianda also made it clear that the three of them will definitely live together in the future.
Ai Ai felt that his proposal was also reasonable. The man who had asked his wife and forgot his mother was not a good man. She agrees with this sentence.
However, when Ai Ai asked how Xianda divorced. Xianda said it was his ex-wife's problem.
Ai Ai couldn't help but be curious. He asked a lot and understood a little. The scene of Xianda's original life appeared in his mind: after the Xianda's family was eating, they sat intimately watching TV. His ex-wife started washing dishes and mopping the floor. At that time, Xianda's father was still alive, and the family of three felt at ease, and his ex-wife felt very uncomfortable...
Ai Ai felt a little sad.
After the wise man took the initiative to explain the past, he began to interrogate Ai's past.
When asked about her emotional experience, Ai Ai was at a loss for a moment and she didn't know how to answer.
If you answer directly, will Xianda feel that she is not respectful and shameless; if she hides it, she is afraid that she will not be able to keep the fire, and finally she says she is cheating.
Ai's anxiety was caught by Xianda. His face suddenly became gloomy.
The wise man kept doing his work for Ai Ai, hoping that Ai Ai could tell the truth without hiding it. He said he just hoped to understand Ai Ai better, and he would understand and tolerate her. This is Ai Ai's minimum sincerity to him.
Ai Ai thinks what he said makes sense. After all, it is all in the past, and she never thought about lying to anyone.
So when Ai Ai revealed the truth, Xianda looked at her expression as if he was looking at a monster. He couldn't understand Ai Ai's hastyness and thought Ai Ai was frivolous.
He felt that he had no virgin complex, but he couldn't digest Ai's one-night stand.
Ai's former self-blame surfaced again. She apologized to him and asked for understanding. Xianda's face was a little blue. He felt that Ai Ai liked that little boy very much and contributed his first time when he met. And both of them are talking about marriage now, and neither has happened yet. Is it because Ai Ai’s feelings for him are not as good as that little boy?
In order to prove that it was not what he said, Ai Ai opened a room with him...
Xianda seemed to be much satisfied, and he actually cared about Ai Ai very much. He hopes that Ai Ai can become his wife.
He was getting more and more kind to Ai Ai. While Ai felt happiness, he also felt a strong sense of anxiety and discomfort.
She can always see Xianda's instantaneous ashes and grit her teeth with hatred. Although it passed in a flash, there were a lot more in his eyes.
Xianda forbids her from having sex with any other male. Even if the male leader of the unit assigned a job, or when he was having a meal in a restaurant, Ai Ai smiled and said thank you to the male waiter. Xianda would have a gloomy face. He would say, "You don't need to say thank you, do you say thank you only if you think he is a man?"
Ai Ai was speechless. She communicated with the wise man very seriously: wise man, those are things that happened in the past, and I blame myself but I can’t go back to time to correct it. If you can't let go, I can't force it, let's break up.
Xianda shook his head like a rattle. He didn't want to break up, and he felt that he was a little too much, but it was because he cared about her too much and said that he would correct it in the future.
Why doesn’t Ai Ai cherish this rare love? She also tried to do her best.
Ai Ai went to Xianda's house for the first time as a guest. Xianda's mother has been looking at her pickyly, polite and gentle, but this alienation made Ai Ai feel very uncomfortable.
Xianda's mother would pull her skirt and said with a smile: Don't wear skirts in the future, as your legs will hurt after you can't cover your knees.
Xianda’s mother said it was right, but Ai Ai felt strange. Xianda also formally suggested to her that she would not wear skirts in the future, it was too dangerous! What if you encounter a gangster who lifts your skirt? Don’t wear shorts, it’s dangerous!
Ai Ai couldn't answer because Xianda was right. But I think it's wrong.
Ai Ai felt a little tired, as if he always had a standard and a frame in his heart, and he would also give her a score. They even had a fight because of this, and he said that she had too strong self-esteem.
Now he hopes that Ai Ai will not go to work anymore and will stay with his mother at home. He has the ability to support her. She just needs to be a full-time housewife at home.
But Ai Ai's idea is that this is not a problem of money, but a problem of realizing self-worth. She doesn't want to have no status and no right to speak at home in the future. Xianda said that this was just her thoughts on it.
Ai Ai told Sister Jing that he had changed a lot after they had been together during this period. They also have the same interests and hobbies. They both think they are old and are OK in all aspects and do not want to give up easily. But she always feels uncomfortable, afraid that she will regret it in the future, and afraid that she will lose herself if she has no status at home in the future.
I hope Sister Jing will give me some advice.
Jingjie Jing said:
First reply, it is not recommended that you quit your job and become a full-time housewife, so that you will be very passive in the future.
When he gets along with you, he will give you a score and set some kind rules and regulations. I believe he has an objection to your approach.
is not just a matter of no right to speak at home, but it is probably the problem of all-round life changes in the end. So, if you choose to make such a big sacrifice, and he thinks it might be right.
And on the contrary, he will feel that he is at a disadvantage and does not recognize you for making sacrifices. In this case, you will inevitably complain in the future.
Based on this, you cannot have to choose a life that you do not recognize because you are old and meet someone who seems to be in good condition.
suggests that you should choose someone who is closer in lifestyle and values to live together, and this kind of life will be easier. And he has been entangled in your past narrowly.
Secondly, I want to tell all the fairies about confessing their love history.
looks at it in two ways: on the one hand, if you explore inward, this is a question about you being unable to accept your past. The problem is actually very simple. You like a boy and have sex with him, but when the other party makes a clear statement, you are not entangled and turn around and leave.This is a very free and easy thing, and there is no need to regret it, because you really like it after all.
Everyone has their own past, and choosing to accept them and understand how this happens is the easiest way we look at our own past.
The knot in your heart now may be a huge thing for you. But I believe that after walking another journey with your life, this is just a memory and an episode in your life.
On the other hand, if you look outward, your current situation is a typical mentality of regretting in memory and anxiety in the future.
This situation will infect your future boyfriend and will inevitably lead to unpleasantness.
And the correct way to deal with it is that no matter who asks about your love history, you should show a situation like "the past is gone, we should live in the present".
This is not just an appearance, but also this recognition in the heart. So, no matter who asks you about this, you can answer: "I have dated and had relationships with others in the past, that's all. But this relationship is what I value most because you are my partner now."
This is the most appropriate attitude. If the other party continues to ask about the past details. You can answer: "The past is really over. I don't want to mention the past anymore. I only focus on the present and the future."
is that simple, you don't need to explain what software you used to know a person and the process of it happening with him.
Remember! You are not the one who is judged, so you don't have to be led by him to explain every detail of your past. You are an independent person, you have your own boundaries and life, you don’t need to explain to any, you just need to explain to yourself, it’s enough.
[I wish you all a happy National Day! Sister Jing said that she also responded to the call for everyone to have a holiday, and we will see you after the holiday. 】
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