Introduction: For many people, the most solid thing a woman relies on is her husband, but relying on everyone to walk on the mountain is obviously not as good as relying on herself.
Everyone will experience several ups and downs in his life. When you are moved, you are prepared to stay together for a lifetime, but as time goes by, your feelings will always be defeated by reality.
No matter it is love or marriage, it cannot guarantee a lifetime of happiness. Encountering a bottleneck period is inevitable in life. But the difference is that everyone’s way of dealing with problems and attitude towards dealing with problems is different.
So, when marriage and reality violate, how should we choose?
Why not listen to me tell a true story first.
1. Divorce.
classmate divorced the year before yesterday.
That year, she was 36 years old. Although she was not yet aged and had good care of her, her husband still cheated on her.
When she found out, her husband filed for divorce directly without any intention of changing his mind. The classmate was both angry and desperate, but still helpless. She couldn't keep her husband who had changed his mind, so she agreed to her husband's request and moved out of her original home after completing the procedures.
has no children and is not involved too much, but after the divorce, she was still depressed for more than a year.
classmate can’t understand why he manages his family well and does his best for his husband three meals a day. How come he ends up being betrayed?
In addition to being sad, the classmates were still reflecting on where they did not do well enough. Perhaps in her perception, as long as she is a qualified and virtuous wife, she will be happy in her marriage. However, in most marriages, the deterioration of feelings or the decline of marriage will not be caused by one person.
classmate may have done something bad in this marriage, but she doesn't know it and thinks she is perfect. However, the ultimate reason for today's situation will definitely not be her own problem. As can be seen from the fact that her ex-husband cheated, the man may not be a good husband.
Sometimes, it is a man’s nature to be less than an old love than a new love, and there are many people who like the new and get tired of the old.
As time passes day by day, coupled with the persuasion of family and friends, the classmates finally get rid of their grief and start looking for a job.
Because she has been a housewife for too long, she has forgotten all her professional skills when she was young. In addition, she is old and many units have turned her off. After two months of finding a job in
, my classmate finally found a job as a cashier in a supermarket.
At first, she also had a muddle-by-wire mentality, but after a long time, she felt that work was too hard, so she came up with the idea of remarrying.
Her idea is to find a man with better conditions to continue to be a full-time housewife and take care of him for three meals a day. If the wind is not blowing or rain, it is better than working hard to earn three thousand yuan.
So, the classmate contacted friends and asked them to introduce their partners. He also added a blind date group to find his next husband every day.
2, remarriage.
Soon, the classmate fell in love with a widowed man who was eight or nine years older than him.
The other party has good financial conditions. He works in a state-owned enterprise. His classmates don’t have to worry about food and clothing after marrying him. The only drawback is that he has a four-year-old daughter and an old mother living with him.
The man’s condition for choosing a spouse is to hope that someone can manage the family for him and take care of his daughter and mother. Everything else can be discussed.
The classmate thought to himself, serving one is also serving, and serving three is serving, so he only adds a few more pairs of bowls and chopsticks, and there is nothing to worry about.
So the two hit it off. The man prepared a 100,000 yuan gift for his classmates. The rest of the wedding was exempted. He only received the marriage certificate and then went home to live. The classmate was quite happy at that time, and her parents were also happy. They talked about this in the class group, saying that they didn't expect that the second-married husband would give more brides than the ex-husband gave him.
In the first few months, her wedding day was pleasant and happy, her mother-in-law was kind and her husband was considerate, and she praised her for being able to manage the family. But over time, the conflict arose.
's fuse is still from the stepdaughter.
classmate has never given birth to a child. She has limited naughty, willfulness and patience for the child, and her tolerance is also limited. It is okay to make a fuss occasionally, but after a long time or a big fuss, she will feel very noisy and annoying.
At first, she didn't say anything because her husband didn't say anything, but once, the child was playing in the living room. Because the elastic ball rolled under the table and couldn't take it out, she yelled to ask her grandma to help her get it.
Grandma couldn't bend her body, so she woke her daughter-in-law up to help when she was asleep.
Because I slept late at night, I had to get up again in the morning to make breakfast for the whole family, so I naturally got up very early. After lunch, my classmates had to take a nap. Suddenly she was woken up, full of sleepiness. She was most annoying to be disturbed when she was sleeping. When she was angry, she did not do as her mother-in-law said. She also accused her child of being ignorant and being spoiled. She would do whatever she wanted, and she would not sleep if she said she would not sleep. She would play whatever she wanted. When she was joking that she didn't want to go to kindergarten, her family was also spoiled.
The mother-in-law is eager to protect her granddaughter, so she naturally won’t let her stepmother blame her grandson, so she began to blame her daughter-in-law.
The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law had an argument over the child for the first time.
3, contradiction intensifies.
Since then, every few days, classmates will educate their children due to some trivial matters and habits. The mother-in-law has more and more dissatisfaction, and her husband also feels that his wife has crossed the line.
Later, as long as it was about the child, the mother-in-law would be as careful as outsiders.
The more I think about it, the more angry the students became. They served the three of them kindly. Although they were less patient with their children, they were also sincerely good for their children. Why can’t they make good money?
Although life is like this, the family is obviously in chaos, and my mother-in-law is not as kind as she was at the beginning, because she scolded her classmates several times because of her child’s affairs. Until last Christmas, the conflict broke out again.
On Christmas Eve, the city was brightly lit and very lively. The whole family went out to celebrate Christmas and were happy all the way, but when passing by a toy store, the child insisted on buying a super large Christmas tree. The living room of the house is already small and is full of children's various toys. Therefore, the classmates do not plan to ask their husband to buy it, and the mother-in-law also feels that there is no need to buy it.
If the adults don’t buy it, the child will cry and roll around at the door of the store. No matter how you coax it, passers-by can’t help but point fingers while watching.
The husband and mother-in-law have been coaxing each other patiently, giving food to them, and sometimes asking them to buy bears, and sometimes asking them whether they want to go to the amusement park. They also said that they would pay for other things, and they used all kinds of tricks, but they just didn't have any results.
classmate really couldn't bear it anymore, so he went over and hit the child on the butt twice, and shouted loudly. The child was frightened, and then got into his grandmother's arms, cried even louder, while saying that his stepmother was a bad person.
classmate wanted to hit her twice, but was stopped by her husband. The mother-in-law also said angrily: "What are you doing? How to hit the child?"
The husband was dissatisfied and glared at her fiercely, then picked up his daughter, leaving without looking back, leaving the classmate alone in the wind.
She walked alone for a long time, then went home. The child was already asleep, and her mother-in-law and husband were waiting for her.
When she came back, her mother-in-law said, "It's not your biological son, I don't know if I feel sorry for you, right? Why are you so cruel? You are so ruthless to her, and she still calls you mom. It's true." The classmate of
is also very simple. She is not meant by bad intentions, but she just thinks that the child cannot be spoiled, so she will be obedient if she hits her a few more times.
At this time, her husband said, "Let's talk, I've thought about it, two conditions: either you have a correct attitude or a divorce."
classmate was confused at the time. Why did she have a wrong attitude? She is not doing this for the child's good.
However, her explanation was sternly scolded by her husband: "You hit my daughter because you have an inappropriate attitude. She has no biological mother. I have worked hard to raise her and I didn't beat you. You can figure out your position." As he said that, he slapped the table, obviously furious.
classmate was also very hurt by these words, so he turned around and went out.
She saw the true face of her husband and mother-in-law. In the face of family affection, she, a second-married woman, is nothing. All love is just an illusion, but what can she do?
It was very cold at night. She went out for a long time and didn't know where she could live. She wanted to divorce proudly and leave with a bag, but she didn't have the courage.
The ex-husband betrayed her. Her parents have a sister-in-law, and she has no skills. Will she go to the supermarket to work after the divorce? She is already 38 years old and has no capital to squander. The only thing she can think of is to save more money for her to support herself.
After thinking about it, the classmate still put aside the idea of divorce and went home after crying for two hours.
When her husband came back, he didn't say much. He went to and got off work as usual. The next day, his mother-in-law comforted him: "To be honest, it's not easy to be a stepmother, but this time, you really shouldn't."
classmate didn't know who was right and who was wrong. He only knew that the days she was in this family would be like a nanny, not interfering in housework, but only doing housework.
4, the rest of your life.
When she met her classmates again recently, she had changed herself and became much more indifferent. She didn't care about many things. It seemed that she was ready to wait slowly.
I just don’t know when this kind of life will end, and how long can she last when a family conflict occurs next time?
Maybe, in the second marriage, the classmates had too many helpless things. She was right, but the mistake was that she gave up the ability to be independent from the beginning.
Because she has no independent capital, when her ex-husband divorced, she was in a passive position; because she did not have the ability to support herself, she placed her hopes in her second marriage, thinking that she would be happy for the rest of her life by finding a long-term meal ticket.
Little do you know that in this world, no one will be your protective umbrella, and the only one you can rely on is yourself.
End.
Flower Shadow Story Original work, focusing on the emotional and psychological field, writing with heartfelt words, down-to-earth and powerful views and stories.
Topic discussion in this article: What would you do if you were me, as a classmate? Welcome to leave a message for discussion.
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