Recently, whether it is backstage consultation or Teacher Hu’s live broadcast, many of the sisters on the TV series have found that they have a common problem, that is, feels very confused about the crisis that has appeared in their current marriage. .
Then let’s talk about it today, Why are your marriage prone to problems? Based on so many years of experience in emotional consultation, Mr. Hu has summarized the three cognitive biases of many women in their relationships.
The first deviation, Prince Princess Theory
The most common one is: Prince Princess Theory, what does it mean? Once your relationship with the other person is confirmed, you will firmly believe that our relationship will not change and should not change .
Just like the end of each fairy tale, the prince and the princess live happily together. But after they are together, will there be conflicts between them? Will there be such emotional changes? Many people won't go to see it.
In fact, sisters like me are extremely loyal to their feelings, but what is the other side of loyalty?
means you don’t know how to adapt to , You think you should love me for the rest of your life after getting married. With children, we have this emotional bond, and you should have the appearance of a father .
If a man does not do what you imagine, you will feel that the sky has collapsed. How can he cheat? How could he ignore his family?
, but I haven't reflected on it. How can I make him love me very much? How can I make him a responsible father?
The second type of deviation, comprehensive crushing theory
What is it called? is called the all-round crushing theory. What is the most classic representative sentence? There is no good thing in this world .
Once you enter a relationship, you will face your partner with a hostile mood of . You need to ask him to submit all his salary and ask him to check on you at any time.
Set a lot of rules and regulations in the details of life. You must love to be clean, you are not allowed to smoke, you are not allowed to drink, you must respect my parents very much, etc.
In fact, in such a husband-and-wife relationship, both parties are very tired. Do you think about whether you are tired? You see him every day and feel that he is full of problems and that he always can't grow up.
And what kind of thought will a man have? is to give you a set of in person, and to the back. On the surface, he is bent on his face, but once his life changes.
For example, if he successfully started his business, he made more and more money, or if he worked in a unit until he was in his 40s and was promoted to a leader, then the suppressed anger in his relationship before would burst out, and then your marriage would be prone to crisis.
last, theory of attachment
means that many of us women have a theory of attachment in their relationship. Once you enter a close relationship, you become a mindless woman, and you give whatever men want. You think that only if I meet all his requirements can I be loved by him.
So the root of this theory of dependence, is that you do not love yourself, you do not respect yourself, and you even do not recognize yourself .
So What will happen to a man when facing a partner like you? He will not respect you, so you have made a lot of effort in this relationship, you have a lot of grievances in your heart, and you don’t want to talk about .
and what do men think? You should do everything, and you should naturally pay in this way. Then after a long time, will ignore your feelings, will not respect you, nor will you care about your principles and bottom line .
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