There is no love for no reason, nor is there a breakup for no reason. Many boys often face such situations in their relationships. They feel that there is no problem between the two. In the smooth development, the girl suddenly becomes cold and even proposes to break up. Asking a

There is no love for no reason, nor does it break up for no reason.

Many boys often face such situations in their relationships. They feel that there is no problem between the two. In the smooth development, the girl suddenly becomes cold and even proposes to break up. Asking about the reason will only mean "inappropriate".

In fact, a problem in a relationship must not be sudden, but over time. However, most boys who enter intimate relationships often ignore the problems that arise when getting along, thinking that since the relationship has been determined, you don’t have to spend too much effort.

But the fact is that "love is easy and difficult to get along with each other". Two people determine that the relationship is just the beginning of a relationship, not the end.

Especially those couples who have become boyfriend and girlfriend after a short time of knowing each other, they are not very familiar with each other and have taken a big step in relationships, but they may not be mentally prepared. The running-in between getting along is Essential.

Therefore, the way and communication mode of two people live together in daily life actually indicates the direction of intimate relationship.

How does intimate relationships break down step by step?

The trust between two people in love is the basis for establishing a relationship. The trust in love is that you believe that the other person loves you, and you are loved in the relationship. Once this trust begins to shake, the relationship between the two people is in danger.

Many people believe that only when you encounter betrayal in your relationship will shake trust. In fact, it is not. Some small things in daily life are often the culprits of shake trust. A very important moment in the relationship between

, "sliding door moment", is when one party sends a signal to the other party, wanting to find understanding and support in the other party. At this time, it is particularly important if the other party chooses to open the door and walk over, or close the door and leave.

If the other party chooses to open the door and face it positively, this is the opportunity for the quality of the relationship between the two people to improve. If the other party chooses to close the door and leave, the party sending the signal will form a bad memory in the brain and will be in the future. Continuous replays create negative emotions.

The more negative moments accumulate and the more negative emotions, the negative emotions will be made, and the other party will be given a negative explanation. Even if the other party does a positive thing, it will be explained negatively. The trust of both parties will be destroyed bit by bit. .

Especially for girls, the emotions are more delicate and pay more attention to details, and it is easier to leave bad memories in the "sliding door moment".

In fact, simply put, the "sliding door moment" is whether a partner can respond positively to his or her needs when he or she makes a demand. It may be through words or actions.

For example, a girl says to you: "I want to eat hot pot tonight, can you accompany me?", "I want to go hiking on weekends, can you accompany me too?", "I am in a bad mood, can you accompany me?", "I am in a bad mood? ”

Responding to the other party’s needs positively does not mean that you must accept the other party’s request.

When the girl asked for a request to eat hot pot, the boy said, "Okay, go together tonight." The girl must be happy, not only because the boy met her requirements, but also because of the boy's positive response that made her feel that she was It is important.

also made this request. The boy said, "I want to be with you too, but today is not possible. I have to work overtime tonight. You can find a friend to eat, or I will accompany you on the weekend."

Although the boy rejected the girl's request. , but he still responded positively to girls' needs. At this time, most girls will not be unhappy because boys refuse, but will be able to understand and will not form negative emotions.

If the boy's answer is: "I don't want to go.", "I don't like hot pot, I won't go." This is a typical example of closing the door and turning around and leaving. When a girl faces such a negative response, she will feel that the other party doesn't care about her. Feeling, you will doubt the boy’s feelings for him.

also rejects girls’ requests, and different responses bring completely different feelings to girls.

If something like this happens once or twice, girls may not express their dissatisfaction directly, but negative emotions will accumulate. If the negative emotions accumulate too much, the relationship between the two will enter a vicious cycle.

For example, if a boy takes the initiative to take a girl out to eat delicious food, the girl’s first reaction is not to be happy, but to doubt the boy’s purpose and whether he has done something wrong.

Once you enter this mode, the communication between the two people will enter a cycle of criticism, belittlement, defense and isolation.

first criticizes the other party and uses words like "always" and "never" to express your dissatisfaction, such as "You always speak like this and don't keep your word!"

then belittles or mocks the other party, "You are..." The person being attacked will turn on the self-defense mode and then blame the other party.

When two people are tense, they will erect a high wall before them, ignore each other, or be indifferent to each other's words and cannot communicate.

In fact, in addition to language expression, many times the expression of action is also a "sliding door moment". For example, a girl is in a bad mood and doesn't say anything, walking to you and leaning her head on your shoulder, or hugging you from behind...

At this time, If you can respond positively, such as touching her head or patting her hands, even if you are busy and don’t say anything, the girl will feel relieved and feel loved.

Those minefields that are prone to breaking relationships;

1. Indifference.

When one party in the relationship has emotional needs and the other party has not responded, this indifference will make the distance between the two people farther and farther.

Most couples who break up in life are not because of betrayal or cheating, but because they become familiar strangers and no longer have the intimacy between couples.

Wenwen and her boyfriend have been in love for three years. When it was time to talk about marriage, Wenwen proposed to break up. Faced with her boyfriend's attempt to keep her, Wenwen was very determined and insisted on breaking up.

Wenwen said she was very happy with the boy, but this year she felt that the boy had changed. She knew that the boy was busy with work now and tried not to disturb him. But many times the boy's indifference made her feel that the other person no longer loved her anymore. .

For example, it rained heavily once when I got off work. Wenwen called the boy and asked the boy to pick her up, but the boy said, "I'm busy, take a taxi." As a result, Wenwen stood by the side of the road and waited for an hour before she got there. The boy didn't ask her if she was home until the night.

Things like this often happen, and Wenwen won’t complain even if she is unhappy. Boys are like nothing, but Wenwen knows that she is no longer needed.

2. Unwilling to make promises.

Commitment means mutual acceptance between the two parties and stability of their relationship. If one party is unwilling to make a promise, it means it is unwilling to give up other possible opportunities in the relationship, or it is not fully committed to the relationship and has reservations.

For example, some boys always feel that they should start a career and then start a family, or they feel that their current financial situation is not good, and they want to work hard for a few more years before making a promise to girls.

So when a girl is in love, if a girl wants to get married, the boy will escape or procrastinate. The boy feels that he is good for the girl, but in the eyes of the girl, these behaviors of the boy show that he has other thoughts and wants to find a better one. or did not intend to go with yourself.

Boys are always unwilling to make promises, and in the end they lose their trust, the girl will choose to leave.

3. Frequent lying.

When a person in an intimate relationship is unwilling to tell the truth to his partner, it means that there is a problem with the relationship between the two.

When both of them have secrets that they don’t want to tell each other and want to cover them up all the time, the lie will be like a snowball, getting bigger and bigger, and finally crushing the relationship.

Lies and trust are a relationship between one's rise and fall. Occasionally, once or twice harmless lies may not have any effect, but if there are too many lies and even habits have been formed, then even a good lie will cause great damage to the relationship. of.

Because when you choose to lie, it means that you are beginning to distrust the other party, distrust the other party to accept the true self and stand with yourself.

Xiaomei broke up with her boyfriend who had been with her for two years because her boyfriend frequently transferred money to her ex-girlfriend and was discovered by Xiaomei.

The boy and his ex-girlfriend had a campus relationship. After graduation, they broke up in another place. The two had no contact until a year ago, when they were at a class reunion. From other classmates, they heard from other classmates that a girl had gastric cancer and spent a lot of money to treat the disease. She lives very well now difficult.

The boy said that he had no other thoughts about his ex-girlfriend and just wanted to help her, so the two did not communicate too much except for transferring some living expenses to her every month. They didn't tell the truth to Xiaomei just because they were afraid that she would mind.

Xiaomei said that the reason why she chose to break up was not because the boy chose to help her ex-girlfriend, but because the boy didn't trust her and didn't believe that she could face the problem with him and chose to lie.

4. Contempt.

Two people in an intimate relationship must be equal, so that the relationship can develop for a long time. If one party feels that he is being despised, the relationship will begin to become unbalanced.

Many people have such problems in their relationships. They always gain their own sense of value by suppressing each other, but they do not know it.

For example, when a full-time wife wants her husband to help her share housework, her husband said, "I'm exhausted from working one day. You can't do this at home if you don't work!"

I have also had this experience, and I know her. A boy feels good both sides and wants to develop. The boy is a doctor and is very busy at work. Every time he meets a boy, he will be late. I understand the particularity of his work.

Once made an appointment to have dinner together. I worked overtime for a while because of a temporary company. I was half an hour late. After meeting, I apologized, but the boy said, "You still have to work overtime at your job? Can you earn such a little money work? What an urgent matter! "

's sentence made me feel that he did not respect me at all and looked down on my job. Although I had a good impression of him before, I now feel that the two of them are not suitable, and he will refuse his invitations from later.

Although he explained on the phone later that he didn't mean that, I had already developed such a bad impression of him, so I couldn't continue to get along.

5. Selfish.

Really love someone must be willing to make compromises for the other party and sacrifice yourself for the common interests of both people. Only such feelings can last for a long time and be more stable.

This means entering an intimate relationship. When facing any problem, your starting point must go from "me" to "we", and regard two people as a unit and a whole, so that the combination of two people is 1+ 1 is greater than 2.

Otherwise, in an intimate relationship, he will do his own thing, focus on his own interests, and even sacrifice the other party's interests. The ending of such a relationship is destined to be separated.

Especially for boys, the most direct way to express their feelings is to consider girls in everything, and they will even take the interests of girls more than theirs. At this time, girls will feel that you really love her.

Everyone wants to have a love that never breaks up. It is useless to just think about it. The key is to learn how to manage love. Only by not stepping on the thunder can your love last longer!

What other minefields in love have you stepped on? Welcome to leave a message in the comment area!