No one loves me, no one loves me, I can only rely on myself to survive in this complicated and complicated society! You didn't see me when I was drawing blood to sell. You saw me counting these pitiful bills with trembling hands. You said it was time to hand over the money. I held back my tears and handed one over tremblingly, with a look of disdain on my face. I am heartbroken. I went back and gave the remaining pieces of paper to the factory owner, who whistled and left. I saw the aunt wearing sleeves from a distance, so I quickly took a detour. I didn’t get one last month, so I’ve been here a few times. Several villagers hurriedly came to greet me when they saw me coming back. I didn't dare to say anything to them about tolls, so I just said a few words and left.
As soon as I entered the door, my wife asked me if I had brought back the money. The children below looked at me expectantly. They also had to pay tuition and fees. Their thin bodies did not dare to speak to me loudly. I lowered my head. If you dare to speak, your heart hurts as if someone has pinched your heart! My wife brought out dinner, and he took the kids to the vegetable market to pick up some unwanted vegetable leaves and sprinkle some cornmeal on them. We haven't seen any meaty smell in six months. My mother said that several of my father’s teeth were broken. If they were not replanted, they would be broken and could not be repaired. I didn’t dare to say a word. After all, tens of thousands of dollars for a tooth was a high expense that I didn’t dare to think of. Mom seemed to understand my heart. She stopped talking and turned her head away. I knew she was crying quietly, but I didn't dare to look at her.
I feel ashamed, shy, blame myself, deny all my abilities, feel so incompetent and need to reflect! Am I not as capable as those who are so-called "finance" people? Isn’t it better than someone who is engaged in real estate? Or why not drink tea and read newspapers all day long instead of working?
This reminds me of the time when I just graduated. My classmates all wanted to go abroad for gold plating. I have my own opinions. I want to contribute to our industry. I don’t want foreigners to hinder us or look down on us. I feel so tall. , be proud of yourself! I rejected all the olive branches offered by foreign capital and "grandfather" companies, and I only focused on fighting for my own ideals.
There will be an event commemorating the 20th anniversary of my classmates’ graduation on the 8th next month. Several classmates have called me. I am conflicted. I want to see classmates I haven’t seen for many years, but I am also afraid that others will see what I am like now. Several classmates have changed their careers and joined large international investment banks, with annual salaries of several million. They have a lot of experience in the Ugly Country. I heard that they got some kind of colored card and can come in and out freely. My wife said you should go ahead. Maybe there are several people in charge of you who can help? However, I still struggled, and the remaining self-esteem in my heart did not want to fall!
Xiao He's father has cancer. Yesterday he came to advance and borrow 50,000 yuan in salary. I promised to give it to him today. I asked my wife if she could get some money from her credit card. She said slowly, have you forgotten it? I haven’t paid the minimum payment for three months and it has been frozen! She said very sensibly, "I'll ask grandma again, don't worry!" When she said this, my heart hurt even more. God has been worthy of me in this life and has arranged for me such a good wife. Thank you!
After drinking half a bowl of stick batter, I was tired and slowly fell asleep...
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