I saw a hot topic " Are you happy in your second marriage? "
Netizens came forward one after another to express their personal experiences and tell the difficulties of second marriages. Compared with the first marriage, it is indeed not easy to manage the second marriage and have children. , the elderly, property and trust issues, once there is a problem in some link, it is likely to break up on bad terms.
This frail-looking woman wearing a hospital gown is called Wang Hong, 44 years old. She told the mediator her unfortunate experience.
Some time ago, she was diagnosed with uremia and was hospitalized. Her husband Zhang Qiang was still accompanying her in the hospital at first. But just four months ago, the day before her second operation, her husband suddenly asked to return to her hometown.
Wang Hong discussed with him that she would wait until someone from her natal family came to take over before leaving, but Zhang Qiang insisted on leaving. There was nothing important in her hometown, and Wang Hong couldn't live without her. Her husband's unkind behavior made Wang Hong extremely sad. .
Since getting sick, although her husband has been by her side, Wang Hong can clearly feel her coldness and impatience.
Zhang Qiang has been away for four months. He can't get through the phone and doesn't pay for medical bills. During this period, his 20-year-old son took care of him day and night. Wang Hong felt sorry for her son and was angry at her husband's indifference. She answered the old saying: Second marriage Husband and wife have a hard time getting along with each other, and when disaster strikes, they both fly into each other.
Wang Hong said that she and Zhang Qiang were both married for the second time. When they remarried, their 16-year-old son followed her ex-husband. Zhang Qiang has a 7-year-old daughter and an old father who is nearly 70 years old. The two had been married for four years. She took good care of her elderly father-in-law, carefully acted as a stepmother, and lived a moderately happy life.
What Wang Hong didn't expect was that the remarriage life she had worked so hard for would be so vulnerable to the disease. Her husband seemed to have disappeared from the world, with no medical expenses, no appearance, and no sense of responsibility as a man.
According to the address provided by Wang Hong, the mediator came to Zhang Qiang's hometown. He did not see Zhang Qiang, but met his old father, Uncle Zhang. After learning the purpose of his visit, Uncle Zhang actually said: I don’t have a daughter-in-law!
The mediator thought he was looking in the wrong place, and confirmed with Wang Hong that this was her father-in-law. When asked, Uncle Zhang repeatedly waved his hands and said, He didn't know that his daughter-in-law was going to have an operation, and he didn't know where his son had gone.
Uncle Zhang has been living in the same courtyard with his son and daughter-in-law. How could he not be clear about this?
Under the persuasion of the mediator, Uncle Zhang revealed the reason. Both his son and his daughter-in-law were married for the second time. Before the marriage, Wang Hong promised to take good care of the elderly and children, and to treat Zhang Qiang's daughter as her own. However, after marrying, Wang Hong changed her mind and ignored him and his granddaughter, and scolded him at every turn. They keep a straight face all day long.
Uncle Zhang said angrily that since his daughter-in-law does not recognize this family, it has nothing to do with them when she gets sick. He does not advocate that his son should take care of it and go to her parents if anything happens. Besides, they had given a gift of 80,000 yuan before, Part of it was borrowed by his son, but his daughter-in-law kept it all in her own hands. This money can be used as medical expenses.
So, is Wang Hong really as unfilial as her father-in-law said and doesn’t love her stepdaughter?
The mediator visited the surrounding neighbors. The neighbors were very dissatisfied with Wang Hong and said that this woman did not deserve sympathy. She usually ignored her father-in-law and stepdaughter, sometimes scolded the elderly, pitied the children, and had to cook by herself when her grandfather was away.
Wang Hong felt aggrieved by the accusations from her father-in-law and neighbors. She said that when she first got married, she really devoted herself to the family and got along well with her stepdaughter, but gradually she found it difficult to do so. Her father-in-law and her husband were very partial to their stepdaughter, so she couldn't help scolding her, so she simply stopped talking. Her father-in-law and her husband still felt that she was not sincere towards her stepdaughter.
Wang Hong always believed that after reorganizing a family, both husband and wife should treat each other's children with sincerity, but Zhang Qiang felt that since his son was with his ex-husband, he didn't care, and Wang Hong shouldn't care either. Once, when Wang Hong was chatting with her son on WeChat, Zhang Qiang angrily grabbed the phone and threw it on the ground. He also said angrily: You don’t need to care about my elderly and children, and I don’t care about your son either.
Wang Hong admitted that she did not do enough in many areas. However, after four years of remarriage, she had devoted a lot to the family. She followed her husband in a sports car for three years, and all the money she earned was managed by her husband. She had no credit but hard work. Now she is suffering from the disease. The illness cost a lot of money. The 80,000 yuan gift has long been spent, and my parents’ family also provided a lot of subsidies.
Wang Hong said angrily that she had taken care of her husband for more than half a year after he broke his leg and was hospitalized. Now that she is sick, why has her husband become so cruel? She hopes that her husband will stand up and bear the medical expenses for the sake of the four-year relationship between husband and wife. If he does not bear the medical expenses, she will sue her husband.
Conclusion:
People often say that it is difficult for an upright official to deal with household affairs. As outsiders, we cannot simply think who is right and who is wrong. The main conflict between Wang Hong and her husband's family is the child, which leads to other conflicts. The stepmother was originally a sensitive character, and she was very strict with her stepdaughter. When her husband and father-in-law accused Wang Hong of not being sincere to the child, she simply ignored her and even vented her dissatisfaction on the child and the elderly. This negative approach has laid many hidden dangers for remarriage.
A slap in the face can't make a difference. Zhang Qiang is also at fault. He opposes his wife's contact with his son. He doesn't care about Wang Hong's son at all. People's hearts are mutual. How can you expect your wife to treat your family sincerely if you are so indifferent? As a husband, he has the obligation to take care of his sick wife. You are not responsible at all as a man by hiding and not showing up.
Reorganizing family relationships is inherently complicated. If we don’t understand each other, how can we live smoothly?
In fact, it is common for second-married families to live happily after marriage. Although it is more difficult for second-married families to manage than first-marriage families because they have to face some "historical legacy" problems, everything depends on man-made efforts. As long as both parties are sincere and dedicated. The less they care about each other, the more tolerant and understanding the couple is, I believe they can live happily even if they remarry.
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