Winter vacation is here. It's called a holiday. In fact, the competition is fierce and fierce secretly. It is not an exaggeration to call it a cold war. The weather is cold and they are actively preparing for the war. Parents and children dare not neglect it.
As the child has been around for a long time, all kinds of resentment, boredom, irritability, helplessness, distress, and various problems frequently appear.
For everyone to have a peaceful and happy holiday. Three sentences for parents.
The first sentence: "Remember, XXX father or mother, you are an adult, you are not a child"
Application case : When the son is playing on the phone and not studying.
"Remember, Zhang Fei, you are an adult, and you are not a child"
asks himself silently whenever he is angry. When necessary, he can bite his lips, cheeks, nails, and strengthen reminders.
theoretical support: self-suggestion
In psychology, self-suggestion refers to self-stimulation by subjectively imagining the existence of certain special people and things to achieve the purpose of changing behavior and subjective experience. The core of successful psychology and positive attitude is self-confidence and active consciousness, or positive self-awareness, and the source and result of self-confidence consciousness is often positive psychological self-suggestion. The reverse is also true. Negative mentality and inferiority complex are often negative self-suggestion psychologically. The advantages of
:
can not only maintain a good image in front of the child, but also let the child see your good upbringing, and it can also reduce negative emotions, and less anger is beneficial to your body Being healthy allows you to produce more dopamine, making you more energetic and thinking more active. The second sentence of
: "Child, what do you think you look like when you are angry?"
Application case :
When the child is angry and depressed, and the next day is relieved, you should ask the child, "Child, you What do you think you look like when you are angry?" The child may give you a specific description, or he may not be able to say it, but when you solemnly talk to him about this question, you will guide him to think. Every two days, Next time you talk to him, you can tell your metaphor and ask him to build a specific image according to your standards. For example, when Dad is angry, he feels like an angry bull, bringing life to others at any time. Danger.
theoretical support: in life, when you can express or describe negative emotions concretely, you will overcome 80-eighths of negative emotions. For example,
takes out a piece of paper, and often Write down your angry questions, then analyze the reasons, and write down the measures and results in each case.
For example, I quarreled with my mother again.
At this time you can write on the paper, it is her fault or yours. If
is your fault, immediately apologize. (Measure 1) If
is her fault, wait for her to apologize. (Measure 2)
If she does not come to apologize, take the initiative to communicate and solve the problem. (Measure 3)
If she doesn't come to apologize, wait two days and finish her urgent work. (Measure 4)
This is the concrete expression of negative emotions. Once negative emotions appear, follow them immediately.
The benefits of doing so :
can allow children to quickly recognize their negative emotions, reduce their negative energy output, relieve their stress, and enjoy learning and life easily and happily.
Third sentence: Please stick to the first two points
Application case :
When you are angry, please tell yourself the first sentence, when you find that your child often has negative emotions, please tell the second sentence He listened.
theoretical support: half-way effect
half-way effect refers to a negative effect on target behavior due to the interaction of psychological and environmental factors when reaching halfway in the motivation processFace influence. A lot of facts show that the suspension period of human target behaviors mostly occurs in the vicinity of "halfway", and near the midpoint of human target behaviors is an extremely sensitive and extremely fragile active area. There is an old saying in
, a person who travels a hundred miles is half 90. Don't learn something and don't use it. Don't use it for a period of time and just let it go. It is the most worthless to fail. Perseverance is victory.
The benefits of doing this :
reminds and hints at all times, can make one's heart bear more and more powerful, more tolerant, so that more harmony factors in the family will be produced, which will contribute to the healthy growth of children Has a great positive effect.
The parent-child relationship is a two-sided relationship. The emergence of a good parent-child relationship does not rely on strict management and specific constraints. It is more of a lot of learning and practice by the parents. The parents' efforts may be invisible to the child, but it must be reflected in the child In terms of your growth, you are getting better and better, and your children will not get worse.
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