But just when they were looking forward to their daughter's doctoral degree, their daughter Xu Wenjing was dissatisfied with them, spoke coldly, and even had a fierce quarrel.
Chen Wenbo saw that his sister had such a tense relationship with her parents, so he tried to contact her and enlighten her, but he found out that his sister had blocked his contact information.
Chen Wenbo, who was confused, had to tell his parents the truth helplessly. After Chen Jintao and Xu Huixin learned about it, they asked their daughter why they blocked their brother?
As soon as she mentioned her brother, Chen Wenjing immediately changed her face. She said angrily: "Don't mention my brother again. If you mention him again, I will jump off the building."
's daughter's words made Chen Jintao and Xu Huixin realize the seriousness of the problem. They recalled their daughter's strange and extreme behaviors, and were afraid that she would really do stupid things. They tried to persuade their daughter to open the knot, but unfortunately they had no effect at all.
Helpless Xu Huixin asked the mediator for help. She hoped that the mediator could help them resolve the conflict between their daughter and their family so that their family could return to a peaceful life.
Xu Huixin told the mediator that her daughter has been rebellious since she was a child, so she and her husband pay more attention to her daughter. In addition, her daughter needs to be raised in wealth, so the couple almost respond to their daughter.
But what is unexpected is that their daughter Chen Wenjing said that they prefer boys over girls.
In response to this, Xu Huixin complained that she was wronged. She said that her son has been sensible since she was a child. When she grew up, she went abroad to study. They controlled their son in terms of money, but they advised their daughter to spend more money.
In Xu Huixin's opinion, her and her husband's favor for their daughter far exceeds their favor for their son, but Chen Wenjing does not agree with her mother's statement.
Chen Wenjing told the mediator that she is a person who doesn’t spend much money. She only goes to class and self-study every day to do tutors and has no time to spend.
mediator said, then why do you think parents prefer boys over girls?
Chen Wenjing said, my brother was so happy to study for a doctorate, and my father disagreed when I wanted to study for a doctorate after I graduated from graduate school.
Then Chen Wenjing told the mediator that in order to get her back to China, her father would lie to her.
Chen Jintao frankly said that he did cheat his daughter, but it was also out of helplessness.
According to Chen Jintao, his daughter spent more than 300,000 yuan to study for a master's degree in the UK for one year, and the more than 300,000 yuan was borrowed by him, and the interest alone would be paid back 50,000 or 60,000 yuan a year.
Seeing that her daughter was about to graduate from her master's degree, Chen Jintao thought she was about to finish her job, but her daughter did not work and proposed to continue her doctoral degree in the UK.
Chen Jintao said that it will take at least three years to study for a doctorate in the UK. If you cannot graduate successfully, it may take four years. These three or four years will cost at least millions, but the family has no money anymore, so he can only find a way to get his daughter back first.
The mediator said, did you tell her about the situation at home at that time?
Chen Jintao said, I am a person who wants to save face. What I told her at that time was to return to China first and then discuss it.
My father's words made Chen Wenjing excited. She said, my father once promised to give me a number, which is enough for me to study for a doctorate in the UK. It is because of this that I told my teachers and classmates about my future plans.
Chen Wenjing also said, if you don’t want me to go to a doctorate, then you should tell me in advance instead of agreeing to me and breaking your promise.
In Chen Wenjing's opinion, since my father has promised her, it is what my father owe her.
bun incident
Chen Jintao said that he did something wrong, but his family really had no money. In addition, he was in poor health and he didn't even do business now, so he really couldn't afford to pay.
Chen Wenjing denied this. She said that the family was not without money, but her parents didn't want to give it to her.
Xu Huixin, who has not spoken, said that she is like this. We don’t believe anything, and even said that if we don’t give her money, she will jump off the building.
Mediator asked Chen Wenjing: "Do you think your parents can spend so much money to support you in school?"
Chen Wenjing nodded firmly. She said, "My brother started a business and my father gave him money, and my father bought a car for my brother. When I was going to study, I had no money."
When he mentioned his son, Xu Jintao felt guilty on his face. He said that he gave him money to start his business, but he only received 60,000 yuan. He only gave him 100,000 yuan to buy a car, and he ignored everything else.
The mediator asked Chen Wenjing in confusion: "Why are you so sure that your family has money?"
Before Chen Wenjing could answer, Xu Huixin said that she asked us to sell a store so that she would have money to support her in school.
Then Xu Huixin said that we didn't agree to her request, so she made a fuss and scolded her father. Later, we were afraid that she would not be able to think about it, so we discussed letting her go to another country to study for a doctorate, so that the expenses would be smaller.
In this way, Chen Wenjing, who graduated from a master's degree, went to Malaysia to study. Originally, Chen Jintao and Xu Huixin thought their daughter should be happy, but what was unexpected was that their daughter disliked Malaysia's schools not very famous and was even more indifferent to them.
Chen Wenbo also said that since his sister went abroad, he has tried to contact her but couldn't contact her, so Chen Jintao and Xu Huixin went to Malaysia to visit their daughter.
One night, Xu Huixin and her daughter Chen Wenjing were chatting with each other and said tentatively: "Your brother always asks me how you are, what's wrong with you two?"
Chen Wenjing immediately said angrily: "Don't mention my brother to me. I don't want to have any contact with him. If you mention it again, I will jump off the building."
Xu Huixin said, I was born to me, I can't watch you two break up like this. If you have anything to say, just let me explain it clearly.
is obvious. Xu Huixin wants to alleviate the conflict between her son and daughter.
But Chen Wenjing clearly stated that she did not want to ease the relationship with her brother, and would live her own life in the future without disturbing each other.
asks the expectant sister-in-law to leave
The mediator asked in confusion: "Why did you and your brother become like this?"
Chen Wenjing said that the reason why she and her brother broke up was because of a woman, who was her brother's girlfriend.
It turns out that after Chen Wenjing came back from the UK, Chen Wenbo took his girlfriend to his home. One morning, Chen Jintao bought breakfast at the breakfast shop and came back. He thought he would eat first whoever got up first.
As a result, my daughter Chen Wenjing got up first. After she finished her meal, Chen Wenbo's girlfriend Jiaojiao (pseudonym) also got up. After seeing this, Chen Jintao asked Jiaojiao: "Did you eat?"
Jiaojiao said, I have nothing to eat, that bun is gone.
After hearing this, Chen Wenjing said to Jiaojiao, "Sorry, sister-in-law, I ate the buns."
Jiaojiao repeatedly said that it was okay. Chen Wenbo, who was next to
, heard this and said to Jiaojiao with concern, "Let's go, I'll take you out for a meal."
Chen Wenjing said that this incident made her very uncomfortable because she felt that her brother’s girlfriend was targeting her. What made her even more uncomfortable was that her parents and brother who once loved her did not speak for her, but stood on her brother’s girlfriend’s side in unison.
Chen Wenjing's words puzzled the mediator. The mediator said: "It sounds like there is nothing wrong with what happened that day. Why did you have this kind of idea?"
Chen Wenjing said, I think my parents should say something for me, such as if I didn't do it on purpose, or if I remain silent.
Chen Wenjing also said that there are more than one thing that makes her angry.
According to Chen Wenjing's description, she was very unhappy about her doctoral studies, so she called her brother and said, "Can you let your girlfriend leave for a while? I am in a bad mood recently and need a separate space to be with my family."
Chen Wenbo was a little uncomprehensible when he heard his sister's request. He said, your sister-in-law's house is from another place, and she has no place to go. If she wants to move, I will move with her.
Then Chen Wenbo took his girlfriend to rent a house outside. Chen Wenjing said to his brother's performance that he really doesn't understand my thoughts. What's even more funny is that he even took away the sheets and at home.
In response to this, Chen Wenbo explained that before he received a call from his sister, his sister had already had a quarrel with her parents, and her sister even said a lot of unpleasant words.
The mediator said, you don’t agree with your sister’s approach, right?
Chen Wenbo said, it is really not easy for my parents to support us in school. We should be grateful and repay them when we grow up, instead of being unable to control our emotions and threatening them.
In Chen Wenbo's view, the 26-year-old sister quarreled with her parents because of her academic matters, and even forced her to death, was irrational and unacceptable.
The mediator said, so when your sister called you, were you emotional?
Chen Wenbo said, Yes, I feel angry.
Chen Wenbo also said, after I moved out, my dad lived in my place for a week, and just because he had a quarrel with my sister, my dad dared not go home.
The mediator asked Chen Wenjing: "Why did you ask your brother's girlfriend to move out?"
Chen Wenjing said that she was just in love with my brother, and she was not my family, so why did she always live in my home?
Chen Wenbo disagreed with his sister's statement. He said that he lived in his parents' house, not his sister's house. He took his girlfriend home with his parents' consent. Xu Huixin, who was next to
, told the mediator that her daughter particularly disliked her son's girlfriend. Her daughter once told them not to agree to her son's marriage, but the couple thought that as long as the son liked it, they would like it.
Xu Huixin's words shocked everyone present. The mediator couldn't help but ask Chen Wenjing, why do you dislike your brother's girlfriend so much?
Chen Wenjing said that she didn’t show that she liked me very much, why should I like her?
proves himself
Chen Wenbo said that since he brought his girlfriend home, his sister has become very strange.
According to Chen Wenbo, one year, Chen Wenjing celebrated her birthday. Seeing that her sister's cell phone was old, he took the initiative to buy her a mobile phone, but her sister refused.
In Chen Wenbo's opinion, it is very common for his brother to buy a mobile phone for his sister, and he doesn't understand why his sister resists so much.
In response to this, Chen Wenjing explained that, one thing she doesn't like to owe others, because what she owes others will have to pay back. Second, when the brother gave her a cell phone, her brother's girlfriend Jiaojiao was also present. She clearly saw Jiaojiao's meaningful smile, so she firmly refused.
The mediator asked, what do you think the sweet smile represents?
Chen Wenjing said, she was just saying, "Look at what I said, she won't want it, I hate her very much."
Chen Wenjing also said that I had a good relationship with my brother in the past. Everything has changed since I had this sister-in-law, especially when my brother drove to pick me up, he took my sister-in-law with me. They sat in front and talked and laughed, and I was embarrassed to sit in the back. I felt like I was just a light bulb.
mediator said, do you think it would be better for brother to pick you up alone?
Chen Wenjing said yes, I still like my brother before, and I also like the feeling of home before.
As she said, Chen Wenjing's tears flowed down. She told the mediator that she was actually very lonely and longed for warmth and her family's company, but she felt that her parents did not recognize her.
mediator said, so you continue to study, hoping to prove your abilities by getting a doctorate degree, and also make your parents recognize you?
Chen Wenjing nodded vigorously and said, yes, my parents once told others that I have no ability to learn, so I must prove it to them.
Xu Huixin and Chen Jintao denied their daughter's statements. They said that in their eyes, their daughter is the best, and they only hope that their daughter is safe and healthy.
The parents' statement did not touch Chen Wenjing. She stubbornly believed that between her and her brother, her parents loved her brother more.
The daughter's words made Xu Huixin feel excited. She wiped her tears and said, "Your brother and Jiaojiao have already obtained a marriage certificate, but we didn't hold a wedding for them. One is because we didn't have money, and the other is because your relationship is too stiff, and you are afraid that you will blame us."
Chen Jintao also said that his son's career has started now. He spent money to buy a house by himself. He would also handle the wedding matters by himself. He and his wife spent all his energy and money on supporting his daughter to study.
In the eyes of outsiders, Xu Huixin and Chen Jintao have paid too much for their daughter, which has also caused their son and daughter-in-law to suffer a lot of grievances. Unfortunately, their efforts are not understood by their daughter.
Mediation
The mediator told Chen Wenjing that she lacked love deep down. She had been courting and paying attention with self-centeredness, but she did not know how to think from the perspective of others.
Mediator also said that being able to study hard is a good choice, but you also need to consider the financial conditions at home and the feelings of your parents. If the financial pressure is very high, entering society after completing a master's degree may not be a good choice.
Chen Wenjing listened carefully to the mediator's words. When she met a place of recognition, she kept nodding, and then she fell into thinking. After
, the mediator told Xu Huixin and Chen Jintao that this daughter grew up with thousands of love on the surface, but in fact she is not independent inside. She needs more recognition and attention from her parents and family.
The mediator's words made Xu Huixin and Chen Jintao realize their problems. They said that they would praise their daughter more and listen to their daughter's ideas in the future.
, Chen Wenbo said that his work has been on the right track, and now he has more time to consider family relationships. He will care more and help his sister in the future. At present, his biggest wish is to be able to add her sister's contact information.
After listening to the words of her parents and brother, Chen Wenjing finally showed a smile on her face. She said that she was too young and her words and things were too extreme. She would pay attention to her in the future. She also said that it was not easy for her parents to raise her into adulthood, and she would be filial to her parents in the future.
After saying that, Chen Wenjing also added his brother's contact information on the scene.
The last family hugged each other.
Conclusion:
Want your son to become a dragon, and hope your daughter to become a phoenix is the wish of every couple.
In order to support their children in school, they willingly gave everything, just like Chen Jintao and Xu Huixin in the story. In order to support their daughter to study for a master's degree in the UK, they did not hesitate to borrow money, which shows how deep their love for their children is.
However, when it comes to the fact that his daughter continues to study and further her studies, her father Chen Jintao's approach is biased.
As my daughter Chen Wenjing said, if the father told her the actual situation at home truthfully, her plan might not be like this, and she would not tell her classmates and teachers about continuing to study, resulting in losing all face when there are any changes.
But when things have happened and everything is irreversible, Chen Wenjing's actions are unrecognizable. She first called her father a liar, and then threatened her life. These behaviors are not only extreme, but also showing her inner weakness.
It’s a pity that Chen Wenjing did not realize this. Instead, she believed that only by studying for a doctorate can she prove her abilities and gain recognition from her parents. However, she did not know that the level of education does not mean the strength of her abilities.
The bun incident mentioned by Chen Wenjing further illustrates this point. This is not a problem in the eyes of ordinary people, but it allows Chen Wenjing to interpret unusual information, and the amount of information is very large.
This also shows that she is always self-centered. Once someone takes away everyone's attention, she becomes sensitive and inferior.
And her behavior of blocking her brother is more sufficient to show her willfulness and childish temper. As an adult, even if she doesn't like someone or is unwilling to have too much contact with someone, she will not break up and directly block her.
After all, adults need to have the dignity of adults, and 26-year-old Chen Wenjing still has not grown up, or she doesn't want to grow up at all.
But reality is cruel. As time goes by, my brother Chen Wenbo has already started a family and started a business, and Chen Wenjing also has to face employment and entering society.
In society, not everyone will agree with you, and not everyone will like you.
In other words, it is normal to hit a nail and be denied. Chen Wenjing should understand this principle, rather than blindly seeking attention and recognition from others.
She should devote more time and energy to her life planning, such as having an unforgettable love, and planning her career direction, displaying her talents to realize her value, etc.
instead of spending time and energy on questioning family and being angry with family.
People often say that a strong person in his heart is like a ray of light that not only illuminates his own life but also tolerate others.
This is exactly what Chen Wenjing lacks. She was held in the palm of her parents since she was a child, but she was extremely insecure and self-independence.
As parents, it is understandable to raise a daughter, but it is not only to give them good material conditions, but to cultivate their strong inner and rich spiritual wealth, so that they can have an independent personality and correct views.
It is obvious that what Chen Jintao and Xu Huixin did not do well in this regard.
people are wandering boats, and home is a warm shore.
is the only place where you can go back without a reason. Only when you return home can you feel the affection and relax completely.
Family affection is precious. If there is more tolerance and understanding, more trust and support among relatives, then the problems between them will be solved long ago.
Friends, what do you think of Chen Wenjing's attitude towards her family and how she deals with problems?
