A friend who has been a class teacher for more than ten years once sighed:
Don’t think that children are smart and smart, and they will definitely have a future when they grow up.
No matter how smart some children are, they may not be successful when they grow up.
Especially these three types of children are mostly "fake smart", and parents must be vigilant enough.
"Talking on paper" type:
only knows how to say, can't do
I once met such a child.
asked him why he didn't go out for fun on holiday. He said, "There is only one summer vacation between a poor student and a top student." He wanted to use this month and a half to overtake.
asked him if he likes games and how to entertain himself. He shook his head and said that he didn't play with his mobile phone. "Absorbing to the Internet is just a waste of life";
asked him again what he planned for the holiday. He listed a study table, and he was arranged every day from morning to morning...
was about to praise him as a "school student" and his life was so self-disciplined, but his sister around him pointed out incisively:
what's the use of saying so much, but he didn't see him do it.
It turns out that he would rather sleep in at home than go out to bask in the sun;
do not watch various electronic products, but is accompanied by TV all day long, and is so bored that he "lids on the sofa";
The learning table is well written, but he has basically not completed it.
No wonder this child has a hard time studying, just talking but not practicing fake moves.
Many children, in fact, know what they can and should do, but they often lose in the word "lazy".
speaks well, has clear logic, and has extremely poor execution ability. You have to "urge three urges and four requests" when doing anything.
Reminds of an experience of the famous French painter Coro .
Once, after he pointed out the problem of a young painter's work, the other party agreed after listening to it, but said, "I will change it another day."
Coro was angry when he heard it and scolded:
Why should I wait for another day? You have to do it after you say it, don't procrastinate.
This is also a reminder to many "dwarfs of action".
If a child only knows how to talk on paper and develops the bad habit of just talking but not doing, he is destined to have a great future.
Source: Panoramic Vision
"Glass Heart" type:
A little bit of difficulty, so I was beaten down
I often hear parents complain that children nowadays cannot beat or scold them, and they can't stand it if they have a slight blow, and even choose to escape. There are many similar situations in learning
.
A 13-year-old girl in Hangzhou has been a top student since she was a child, and her grades have always been at the top. She successfully got admitted to a key middle school in the city.
In a small exam shortly after the start of school, she ranked fifth in the class.
is only a few points away from the first place, but she can't accept it. In her dictionary, there has never been only the first place.
After that exam, her self-confidence was severely hit and she gradually lost the motivation to learn. She even began to be afraid of exams and became disgusted with learning.
Seeing her decadent, my parents were angry that they refused to fight and couldn't help but curse a few words. As a result, the girl actually picked up the utility knife and cut her wrist.
Later, after a diagnosis by a psychologist, it was confirmed that the child had depression and had severe anxiety and school aversion.
Experts say that children are focused on studying, have no time to make friends, and do not communicate with their parents.
Under the high pressure of learning for a long time, his mood became more and more depressed. The failure of the school entrance examination became the "last straw" that broke her.
In fact, children are prone to such problems.
On the surface, they are all smart and have extraordinary IQ, but they often cannot withstand any blows and setbacks.
American child psychologist Simon Anne proposed the theory of "eggshell psychology".
means that some children have weak psychological defenses and are as fragile as eggshells.
They care about what others think of themselves and do not allow themselves to "lose". They like to compete and compare with others. When faced with setbacks and failures, they will only rely on the help of their parents and others and cannot solve the problem independently.
Source: Panoramic Vision
"Inadequate concentration" type:
Playing very hard, and you get discouraged as soon as you read the book
Backstage Many parents said:
What children now want, the learning conditions and environment are good, but why are they tall and big, but they can't improve their learning status?
In fact, after all, there is something wrong with "concentration".
Li Meijin Professor said:
often determines children's academic performance, but focus. 80% of children lose in concentration.
A survey shows that among the 660 large and medium-sized cities in my country, 20%-60% of children are often distracted and cannot insist on listening to classes for more than 30 minutes.
The most active and active in physical education classes. As long as you sit in the classroom, you either stare blankly or look out the window, and you can't listen to what the teacher says. Children like
are not stupid. They only lack concentration, which leads to poor learning results.
Some children can’t sit still when they start studying, either turns the pen , play with their fingers, or go in and out of the toilet.
Seeing their half-hearted appearance, parents were also anxious.
Focus is the first motivation for learning.
If a child always finds difficult to concentrate, then no matter how talented and IQ are, they are just decorations and will not play any role.
Source: Panoramic Vision
Children's "fake intelligence" becomes "real skills"
The key is to guide parents
There is a sentence in "Volume Things and Genius":
Every child has the potential to become an excellent person. It is the daily education of parents and gives children a different life.
When the child experiences the above three "fake smart" situations, parents should pay enough attention to it.
Start with daily life and slowly guide children to learn "real skills".
1. Parents set an example and do what they say.
Dad in the movie " Galaxy Tutorial Class " Ma Haowen decided to help his son Ma Fei improve his grades, but instead made detailed plans and strictly supervised them.
In order to encourage Ma Fei, he not only took out a ruler to measure Ma Fei's textbook, but also secretly sold blood to replace it with a computer.
even took his son to the empty fields, feel the flowers, plants and trees, go to the air show, and browse scenic spots and historical sites.
Seeing him working hard and serious, his son's learning status gradually improved.
Writer Leo Tolstoy said:
All education, or 999% of the education, must be attributed to role models and to the correctness and perfection of parents' own lives.
In front of children, demonstration of what you say and what you say is better than countless great truths.
Source: Panoramic Vision
2. However, protect children, don’t suppress them at will.
The high participation and high expectations of parents seem to be encouragement and stimulation to their children.
But excessive expectations often backfire and cause unnecessary psychological pressure to the child.
Parents should grasp the degree of education, protect them when necessary, and learn to watch out if necessary. The mother of Toko Kurorayaki, the author of
" Xiaodoudou by the window", is a good example of education.
The child wanted to go to school alone, so she nodded and agreed to make sure everything was foolproof;
The child's idea was wild, and she was ordered to drop out of school because of the naughty mischievousness. Instead of scolding her, she patiently encouraged and comforted her.
It is this visionary love that has successfully cultivated the "naughty child" Xiao Doudou into an outstanding talent.
Love children needs to be appropriate, and express love must also have standards and sensibility.
Remove the child's "psychological burden" so that he will not be fragile and give up on himself when encountering problems.
3. When children study, remove unnecessary interference items.
The premise of keeping your child highly focused is not to disturb him.
Don't go in and out of the child's room at will to send fruits or snacks, and don't interrupt him when he is studying.
The most important thing is to provide children with a quiet and independent learning space.
When a child is studying, parents can avoid watching TV, playing mahjong or playing music, and do not distract him.
When a child can’t continue to learn, remind him appropriately, but don’t keep mumbling in his ears.
What the child has to do in his studies, try to let him make his own decisions and respect his ideas.
First-class parents all know how to use excellent role models and correct methods to bring their children back on the right track and let them on the right path of life.
Let us be better parents together.
Author: Qiao Qiao Mom. Source: New Oriental Family Education (ID: xdfjtjy), conveying professional family education concepts and providing family education information at home and abroad.
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