accidentally shot a real case in the "Nightline" column of CCTV Social and Law Channel, and I couldn't calm down for a long time.
More than a year ago, the day before the Nanjing high school entrance examination results were released, a middle school held a vivid and meaningful life course.
The class is a teacher in middle school, a special English teacher in . She prepared a very special slide to play in the classroom, mainly telling the growth experience of a young girl from childhood to university.
Teacher Huang is very familiar with her. Basically, she can tell a small story about a girl in every photo.
Since childhood, the girl has performed very well. She has performed very well and has won the title of provincial three-good student. When she was in middle school, she was the main force of the school basketball team and had strong athletic ability. She also had contact with music during extracurricular time. The flute and drums were very good at playing .
"Her excellence is almost perfect."
This is what Teacher Huang said about her. Many parents who attended were envious of her. Until the end of the slide, the photo of the girl lying in a white coffin in a foreign country appeared, and the audience was silent.
"This is my daughter's life. Today I will use her story to see how children and parents should cherish their lives."
After saying this, Teacher Huang could no longer control his emotions and burst into tears.
In 2009, Teacher Huang's biological daughter studied abroad in Netherlands . She had never expected that her daughter would suddenly leave three suicide notes, and in the most beautiful years, she chose the most decisive way to end her life.
The first suicide note was left to her parents. She admitted that she had been troubled by mental illness for 8 years.
"I am really tired. I have calmed my collapsed heart again and again for 8 years, but when it collapses again, I can't do anything, I can only grit my teeth and endure..."
"The beauty of reality is destroyed, I am really tired."
Second post The suicide note tells her psychological journey:
"8 years of OCD, longer loneliness and melancholy, falling again and again, and then struggling. This time, I am unable to struggle again..."
She has ignited hope for life again and again, but every time she hopes will fail.
"Elders, friends, and classmates gave me too many unforgettables."
She also felt reluctant, but her inner despair and pain overwhelmed all the reluctance.
After her daughter passed away, Teacher Huang opened her computer and was surprised to find that in addition to various ways to introduce suicide, the rest of her daughter's browsing records was related to mental illness.
Her daughter had experienced countless struggles during her lifetime and was tortured in her heart, but she had no idea about all this.
The third suicide note only has a simple sentence, which is left to the police:
"Please don't save me."
I really can't imagine how much despair she has experienced before she finally left such a sentence to the police?
Teacher Huang only noticed after reading all the information left by her daughter. She recalled every bit of her and her daughter, and a feeling of regret rushed to her heart and could not be dispelled.
Her daughter's illness was actually premonitioned, but she didn't pay much attention.
Since she went to school, what she cared about has always been about her daughter’s grades and how she got along with her classmates.
"Do you love to study?"
"Love to study."
"Is it good to get along with classmates?"
"Okay."
Her conversation with her daughter is basically like this because she thinks it's enough.
"I never look at her details."
This is the educational philosophy that made her completely lose her daughter.
The death of her daughter made her heart hurt and taught her a heavy lesson:
"Education, you cannot only focus on the child's paper grades, and your mental state is equally important. "
She began to instill the idea of not being too entangled in scores in parents, and made all her regrets and feelings into a slide, integrating them into that life course.
Use her own blood and tears to teach those parents who have not yet awakened a lesson that will be unforgettable for their lives.
There may be many parents who think that as long as they give their children The subsidiaries provide a material foundation, so that they can grow up healthily.
But true health is never just a material satisfaction. People's Daily once released a set of terrifying data in the "2022 National Mental Health Blue Book".
""" The group of depression is about 50 students, of which the people under the age of 18 account for an astonishing 32.4%. ”
Based on the domestic student base, how terrifying the number of people corresponding to this percentage?
Ask yourself, among such a terrifying number of people, with your usual care for your children, how high is the probability that your child will not have any problems?
I think many people will subconsciously escape this problem because many people dare not imagine and accept the truth.
Children's mental health problems really should be taken seriously. This is a long time ago.
Teacher Huang's Tragedy has never been an isolated case.
Many parents don't know how heavy the pressure they put on their children is.
A boy in Shenzhen failed the college entrance examination and was in a low mood to commit suicide. The police received the message and rushed to his residence. When they opened the door, they found an iron basin burning charcoal. The boy was lying quietly on the kitchen floor and was in a coma.
Fortunately, he was finally rescued.
A girl in Shanghai committed suicide and jumped off a building, leaving a thousand-character suicide note to cry countless people.
"In my life, I'm very lucky to meet you. If there is a next life, we'd better not see you again. It's nothing to think about it. You don't love me at all. I love me who rushed into the top 10 of the class, and I love me who scored the full mark. The daughter in your heart is so perfect and excellent. I can't do it..."
We really should think carefully, are we constantly putting pressure on our children?
Children should not only study well in school, but also get along well with classmates. They have to go to the interest class after class, and face the supervision of their parents when they go home, and have heavy love and expectations.
How many people have thought from their perspectives? If it was your childhood. Will you be sad when encountering these things during the period?
As a child, can you hold on?
Don’t talk about children, even ordinary adults may collapse in their hearts when facing so much pressure.
So let children grow up under this kind of pressure from an early age, and have not given them psychological counseling, can they really grow up healthily?
I agree with a sentence that a netizen said:
"Many times, parents just impose their anxiety on their children, and have never thought about whether they can bear it or whether they should bear it. "
Not everyone can stand at the top of the pyramid, but more are mediocre people.
can be corrected, but cannot be overcorrected.
Sometimes, we really should accept the mediocrity of our children. As long as we don't feel that the children are behind, then your children will always be ahead of others.
"My child doesn't have to be too outstanding, as long as he is healthy and happy. ”
