Plan to repair the relationship with the child
Plan to repair the relationship with the child: 1. The current relationship with the child is antagonistic. The child resents his parents too deeply and it is difficult to open his heart. He always thinks that I am responsible for his current situation. of. 2. The reason for the current relationship is that I have been too strict with him since he was a child. He only cares about his grades and is admitted to key universities and neglects other aspects of education. Although his grades have been excellent from childhood to the first year of high school, I have always been in charge of him. After graduating from high school, I started downloading games and online novels on my mobile phone in my second year of high school, and my grades plummeted. I thought I would not be able to pass the college entrance examination, and I would not be able to see my teachers and classmates. Now I surf the Internet at home, play games, watch TV, don’t go out, don’t want to see anyone, have no self-control, and can’t get out. 3. I plan on how to open up the child's heart and restore our parent-child relationship. I have thought of many ways to help him, but the child is very resistant. I hope that the child can come out of it as soon as possible. I am continuing to study now. Teacher Yue, this is my plan, please give me your advice!
Yesterday, I asked everyone to talk about their plan to repair the relationship with their children. Some parents talked about it more generally. Do you know the outline I gave you this afternoon? Do you know what the relationship between [1] and the child is now? 【2】Why do you have the current relationship with your children? 【3】What’s next? Great, let’s analyze this parent’s plan together, shall we? good. What is the relationship between
[1] and children now? Has this parent made it clear? It's pretty clear. What is the relationship? It is a relationship of antagonism, resentment, and distrust of each other. How is it opposite? Why are you resentful? Can this parent tell me how your child opposed you? It’s because we don’t want him to get into trouble by playing too many mobile games.
Is your child against you on this matter? He couldn't control it, and the conflict continued to escalate. In the end, we beat him several times. Opposite in other ways? Mainly playing mobile games and often interfering with his studies. Does your child oppose you in everything now? Yes. Can't you talk to your kids? The child doesn't want to talk to me. Nothing can be said? Not willing to communicate anything. When you talk to a child, what happens to the child? My children would chase me away. If they didn’t leave, they would get angry and hit me.
If the child kicks the parent away as soon as the parent speaks out, it is an antagonism. Do you agree? agree. Why are you at odds with each other? If they are not given access to the Internet, they will hit others while playing with their mobile phones. Now the children have their computers and mobile phones, and they are given living expenses every month without seeing their parents. Well, what about resentment? He hates me with all his heart. Why do your children resent you? I have been too strict with him since I was a child, and now I have no ability to act on my own and hate me. For the sake of your children, if you satisfy them, won’t your children resent you? Hate, I gave it to him, and the child didn’t see me either.
Let’s talk about [2] Why is the relationship with the child what it is now? Why are your children antagonizing you? Why do I resent you? You can help this parent analyze it. What are the reasons why parents and children are at odds and children resent their parents? Everyone can say it. There was too much pressure on him. Because I used to give everything, but now I don’t. Too much control! I used to control my children too much and talk too much.
pays too much attention to children's studies, puts too much pressure on children, fails to understand children to relieve stress in time, and neglects to be a good person. It just bothers the parents to control him. I was often beaten when I was a child because I was naughty. I hate my parents very much. Looking back now, I feel that for example, my parents don’t allow me to watch TV. They can watch it, but I can only watch it through the crack in the door. They can curse people, but I can’t say bad words. Every time I get a notice, I fail in the exam. , I would go home crying when I was almost home, and I would be in pain when I got back. He is over-satisfied materially, highly depressed mentally, and has no respect for the child's personality. We have high expectations for our children since they were young, and they pay too much attention to their studies. The children are under great pressure and are criticized and blamed mentally. What do you think of the Silence of the Lambs? Everyone is right, I regret it very much now.
How do you think the opposition is caused? Caused by not letting children play with mobile phones.Does any parent know how the conflict is caused? Pay too much attention to children's studies and neglect to be a good person. It is a behavior that children are forced to do. Forced and forced melons are not sweet. It is caused by imposing the will of parents on their children. Demanding and manipulating children causes them to become antagonized. What is opposition? Can any parents answer this? No consensus can be reached. Desires are not unified. One left and one right have opposite ideas. Mutually exclusive. Confront parents. Parents say what they want, and children do what they want. Each of them does their own thing, and there is no consensus. Can any parent define the conflict between parents and children? It should be that the child is hostile to me and wants to treat me as an enemy.
Opposition means contradicting each other and not agreeing to accept each other. Parents have long-term coercion on their children. In fact, children have long been dissatisfied with their parents. When they enter adolescence, children have their own independent thinking and the ability to resist, so opposition arises. Opposition is the mutual repulsion, the confrontation of two forces. The position is opposite and the approach is correct. Children regard parents as imaginary enemies. Fire and water are incompatible! Opposition is two completely different views and perspectives, and they cannot seek common ground while reserving differences.
I think the opposition is that parents have always been required by their children (materially and emotionally), and now they no longer meet their children's requirements. If the children are unwilling, they will fight against the parents in various ways; parents have not required their children (in terms of life, abiding by time, etc.). In terms of the system), now it turns to demanding the children. The children are unwilling and fight against the parents in the form of resistance. One sentence pits children against their parents. Do you all agree? agree. Do you understand the two meanings of opposition? Understood. Being asked by children, demanding children. The child's demands for satisfaction turn into dissatisfaction, and the child's dissatisfaction turns into demands. The parent's rejection of the child, and the child's resentment towards the parent. Everyone said it well. This parent, do you agree? agree.
Okay, let’s talk about the third question. What is the third question? Next step. What do you think. Repair parent-child relationship. How to fix it? I don't know how to fix it. Don’t you know the reasons that affect relationships? If the child is against me now, he must change himself first. Once you know the reasons for your child's opposition to you, isn't it the method to remove the reasons for the opposition? do you understand? oh. Wouldn't it be contradictory to remove the cause? Um.
OK, how do children resent their parents and what are the reasons? Everyone can say it. What is resentment? Why do children resent their parents? I feel like my parents don’t understand me. When the dissatisfaction in your heart reaches a certain level, you will become resentful. Too much to worry about. Parents always ask their children to follow their own wishes. Parents demand from their children, children demand from their parents, and parents no longer satisfy their children. Force force force force. Resentment means complaining and hating. Parents blame their children, and children hate their parents. Because parents cannot understand their children. Parents, please tell yourself, the person who unties the bell must also tie the bell. I have always asked my child to follow my own wishes and hope that he will live a good life in the future. I didn't know that this would happen. Why does this child resent this parent? If you don’t know why your children resent their parents, how can you possibly solve the problem? Parents demand and force their children, and they want their children too much, but the children cannot get better. In fact, the children also resent themselves.
Resentment has two aspects. One aspect is that children resent their parents, and the other aspect is that children resent themselves. I think we parents are a bit resentful of our children, which causes our children to resent us. In fact, the child also resents himself. My son said this with tears, so I deeply feel it. In fact, the child also thinks about it, really. It’s hard for parents, and it’s hard for children too. Resentment: First, parents resent their children and themselves, and secondly, children resent their parents and themselves. In the end, you resented me, I resented you, and everyone resented me.
How do parents resolve resentments? Let go of paying too much attention to your children. Things will get better gradually. You must first trust your children. Let the child make his own decisions, and being always satisfied will also lead to resentment in the child. I wanted to believe the child, but he couldn't control himself and played without restraint.The child is also very confused now, thinking about whether it will be okay or not. Unable to get out of his own knot, he also hopes someone can understand his heart. The more you control him, the more he will fight against you. It's because we don't have any practical and effective methods to teach our children, so it's useless to just preach. Parents always take charge and deprive their children of the opportunity to grow. Children will think about it and feel inferior to others, and they will resent themselves and their parents.
【3】What are your next steps? Repairing the relationship with my child, he no longer trusts me. what would you do? I don't know either, I hope he can come out soon. Let’s talk about it, what should this parent do? Do the three no's and create the new three no's. Change your past ways. Parents should change themselves first and let their children feel the changes in their parents. This parent's concept must be changed first. Don't be anxious, don't be afraid, change yourself, be yourself, no longer ask to force your children, and at the same time, don't be asked by your children. Ignore any inappropriate behavior by your children. Her child is still in the rental house! is a problem! The child sees no one and lives alone in a rented house. Accept all inappropriate behaviors of children from the heart.
requires a process. Don't ask the child, don't force the child. Don’t give up on your children, don’t abandon your children. No more money will be provided to him and no pressure will be placed on the children. I think the most important thing is to stop asking your children for anything and communicate with them openly. Ask a friend or someone the child trusts to help. You can't ask your children, but you can't be asked by your children either. Yes, trust the child and let go. Create a harmonious family and let the children feel the warmth of home and they will come back.
[1] and [2] are causes, [3] is the effect. The reasons for the antagonism between children and parents should be removed, and the reasons for children to resent their parents should be removed, so that children no longer antagonize their parents and do not resent their parents. This is the key step to repairing parents and children. Do you all agree? agree. We have made the reasons clear. Can this parent understand? Got it, thank you Teacher Yue! thank you all!
Fortunately, everyone can communicate freely below. My lecture is over. If any parents are willing to continue talking about their plans tomorrow night, they should prepare them first and just send them out then, okay? Okay, I'm using my cell phone to call slowly. I'll send the plan up early tomorrow before you go to class. I think Lamb parents still need to carefully understand what Teacher Yue said. Teacher, can you help me first tomorrow? Okay, I will sort out the content of today's lecture now, and everyone will review it carefully, okay? Thank you for your hard work, Teacher Yue! Thank you all for your hard work. I will try to sort it out for everyone to see as soon as possible. Goodbye everyone. Goodbye, Teacher Yue.
