Text | Fortunately pregnant sister (senior maternal and child nurse, original is not easy, please do not plagiarize)
illustration| Juice
Many parents have a very difficult way of parenting, especially when facing some sudden changes in their babies, they often touch Without thinking, the little guy has changed from being well-behaved and sensible to self-willed, stubborn, and domineering. What is the reason?
Case:
Two and a half-year-old Niuniu is a little different recently. You must drink soup before eating. You must cover a pink quilt when you sleep. You must wear pants and socks when you wake up in the morning... In short, everything must be done. According to my own ideas, if the order is disrupted, I will yell at it.
Niuniu's mother doesn't know the reason behind it, and always likes to scold her children, but Niuniu can't listen to her, challenging her mother's authority time and time again.
Actually, Niuniu has entered a sensitive period of order. No matter what children do at this stage, they must do it according to their inner order, otherwise they will say "no" to protest.
What is the order-sensitive period?
The order-sensitive period is the child’s first "rebellious period". A sense of order is already a few months after the baby is born, but it reaches its peak when they are 2 to 4 years old. The order, the rhythm and rhythm of doing things, the balance and symmetry of the form, and the placement of items have almost paranoid requirements, a bit like obsessive-compulsive disorder.
What are the manifestations of children in the sensitive period of order?
1. If your order is disrupted, you will feel uncomfortable and painful, cry loudly to express your dissatisfaction, and will strongly ask the adults to restore it to the original state, and restore calm after the order is restored.
2. In order to maintain their own order, they have to boldly say "no", "no", and "no" to their parents. The parents obviously feel that their children are rebellious and unbehaved.
3. If the order is artificially disrupted, they will take the trouble to do it again.
may look at this sensitive and persistent little guy in front of them, most parents will find it incredible, in fact, this is a normal behavior. It has to be said that this is part of the baby's exploration of the world and an important stage of their growth.
Once the order is constructed, the child will maintain it autonomously and insist on it persistently. On the contrary, if it is disrupted, it will bring great confusion and discomfort to the child, causing confusion in thinking, psychology, feeling and emotion, and they will Feeling uncertain, causing anxiety and fear, for this reason, only by repeating the original order over and over again, consolidating the inner sense of security, and keeping the order constant, can the child be at ease.
If parents do not understand the special psychology and behavior of children in the sensitive period of order, they reprimand and criticize their children and suppress their adverse reactions with majesty, which will only destroy the children’s sense of order, obstruct the children’s pursuit of standards and perfection, and stifle their self-discipline. Germination leads to obstacles for children in observing the rules in the future.
Lack of order and the habit of affecting the future
We often see that many young people take off socks and throw them at will, their desktops are messy, they often leave things behind, work halfway, etc. These are all signs of lack of order. Once there is no order, life will Messed up.
The construction of order in childhood has a great impact on the future, because order becomes a habit, habit becomes natural, and natural adulthood. Childhood will create a person’s basic character and qualities. If parents can provide an orderly environment for their children, It enables them to discover the laws of life and form self-discipline in their behavior.
Once there is a lack of sense of order, it is difficult to change the bad habits formed in adulthood. On the contrary, children who pass the orderly sensitive period well will be highly sensitive to order. The baby who grows up in an orderly environment will develop a sense of order and independence. Consciousness and contract consciousness will become an orderly social person as an adult. For this reason, the correct guidance and education of parents when their children are young can lay a good foundation for their children's future.
how to guide the child correctly?
1. Understand and respect children
Children in this period have special requirements for order-sensitive periods. Parents should learn to respect and understand, try to satisfy their children's pursuit of a fixed order of things, and don't make a rash claim that the baby is unreasonable.
2, cooperateChildren's regular life
If the child has a regular time and sequence for eating, sleeping, washing, etc., parents should cooperate with the child, such as telling stories before going to bed every day, drinking a glass of milk before going to bed, etc., a regular life can bring the children A sense of security helps them follow the rules.
3. Help the child solve the problem
If the child’s order is disrupted, parents should promptly assist the child to find a solution. You may wish to spend a few more minutes for the child to do it again. If the child cannot do something, the parent should follow the child’s mind Order to help complete it together.
4. Parents do a good job in safety education
Babies in the sensitive period of order may have many stubborn behaviors, but if safety issues or social moral issues are involved, parents must have a bottom line education and clearly point out the children’s mistakes.
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