Topic: Emotional perception
high emotional intelligence has many benefits. People with high EQ can better control their own emotions and understand the emotional feelings of others, and they can often get more social support. If you want to have a high EQ, you must have an understanding of your own and others’ emotions. Therefore, in daily life, parents should also enhance their children's perception in this regard.
1
To feel the emotions of others, start with understanding your own emotions, and the process of children gradually understanding their own emotions needs guidance.
Children’s emotions are more changeable than adults, and they often feel anger, loss, sadness, sadness and even fear because of small things. At the same time, babies do not know that these bad feelings are negative emotions, so they are likely to be confused, "what's wrong with me". This uncertainty will make the child lose control and aggravate the child's negative emotions.
At this time, parents must not forcefully stop, let alone label their children at will. because doing so will make the child feel unacceptable, thinking that everything is his own fault, which will lead to inferiority complex.
Therefore, when a child is sad, sad, or angry, what we have to do is to accept the child’s emotions, give a name to the child’s emotions, and tell the child that he is unhappy because of certain emotions. For example, we can say something like this: "I know you don’t want to do anything, you just want to cry. This is because the kitten that has been with you for a long time has been sent away, so you are a little sad, but it’s okay. Sadness is normal. It will be better in a few days."
Understanding your own emotions is the basis for self-emotion adjustment. Only when children have an understanding of their own emotions can they understand the emotions of others.
2
In addition to helping children understand their own emotions, parents also need to guide their children to have an accurate cognition of the emotions of others. The so-called emotional intelligence is to make yourself comfortable and make others feel happy most of the time. Therefore, the ability to perceive others' feelings is very important.
Now, as more and more parenting masters promote the importance of "gentle and firm", more and more parents realize the benefits of gentleness.
The child slapped his mother on purpose. The mother suppressed the anger and disappointment and said softly: "I know you are very angry, but you are absolutely not allowed to hit someone." The child knew it was his father's shirt, but used a watercolor pen There was a big tiger painted on the shirt. Dad resisted his anger and said gently: "I know you are very creative. That's great, but the shirt belongs to Dad and cannot be destroyed."
"gentle and firm" "What's the problem? The main problem with is that mom and dad obliterate children's opportunities to perceive their true emotions. Over time, the children's ability to feel the emotions of others will stop.
There is nothing wrong with being gentle and firm, but only if parents reveal their true emotions to their children, gives them the opportunity to connect their actions with the corresponding emotions of others. For example, we can say: "Mom is very angry and disappointed now, because you slapped mom, I know you are not an unreasonable child, but this kind of thing cannot happen a second time."
In other words, both emotional perception and emotional intelligence need to be gradually cultivated. If there are changes in the caregiver and growth environment during the period, the child's emotional regulation ability may also deteriorate in a short time. Mom and dad must be more patient~
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