"How to make the boss and the second child live in harmony" is a problem for many people. Generally speaking, two-child families will go through the following three stages. In each stage, parents have different "tasks" to complete.
The first stage: mother’s pregnancy. During the pregnancy of the second child, the eldest child will be sensitive to the fact that the mother seems to be different. The main task of the parents at this stage is to help the eldest child to mentally build up, welcome the arrival of the second child, and make the eldest child feel proud of his "upgraded identity". Preparations that can be made include: 1. Talk to the elder more about the younger siblings, so that he can understand that the younger siblings are real people living around him. You can let the boss feel fetal movements , talk to the fetus, and tell him stories. 2. Go to the house of a friend who just gave birth to a baby and let the boss know the baby's condition in advance. 3. Take the eldest child with you to buy things for your unborn second child, and ask your eldest brother to help arrange the baby's crib. 4. Let the eldest child give the second child a special nickname. 5. Prepare a special gift for the eldest child to congratulate and bless him/her on becoming a brother or sister.
The second stage: before and after production. When the second child is born, the family's focus is mainly on taking care of the newborn, and the eldest child may feel neglected. At this stage, it is necessary to arrange the life of the eldest child in advance, let him participate in the process of taking care of the second child, and pay close attention to the eldest child's emotions. Things that need to be done at this stage are: 1. The father should be more involved in childcare, assume the responsibility of taking care of the eldest child, arrange some fun games, let the eldest child feel the love from his father, and alleviate the loss caused by the significant reduction in mother's attention. 2. Let the eldest brother do something within his ability and help take care of the second child so that he can feel involved instead of being excluded from the "new three-person group". When the boss does it, encourage him. For example, "Thank you for helping to get new diapers for my brother and throw the dirty ones into the trash can, which makes my mother feel a lot more relaxed." 3. Arrange a special time alone with the eldest son, so that the eldest son can relive the feeling of being an "only child" and let him feel his importance in the hearts of his parents. This will not only reduce the jealousy of the eldest brother, but also make the child feel the connection of love, and he will also pass on love.
The third stage: a long period of common growth. As the two children grow up, how to reduce the conflict and competition between the eldest and the second child and let them live in harmony is the focus. At this time, parents have to play several roles: 1. Translator. The role of the translator is to build a bridge of love between children, put aside existing thoughts and evaluations, calm down and listen to the children's ideas, and promote mutual communication between them. 2. Observer. Observer means "just watch, don't tell." Don't rush to intervene beforehand, just wait and see what happens. The focus is on "how the situation will develop." You must believe that the children can think of solutions and that they can always learn what they need to learn. 3. Guide. The guide does not rule on matters or add his or her own subjective judgment, but only guides the two parties to negotiate and negotiate terms agreed to by both parties. This will not cause conflicts, and can guide children to establish cooperation and learn to solve problems.
(The content and pictures of this article come from the Internet and the copyright belongs to the original author)
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