I am a Doere mother and I have two children at home. Click "Follow" in the upper right corner to share with you the fragments of marriage and parenting every day.
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My friend sent me a WeChat message saying that she slapped herself a few times.
The reason is that the child is procrastinating in doing homework. She said it several times but it didn't work. She knew that beating the child was wrong, so she slapped herself in front of the child.
frightened the child and she burst into tears.
It’s not her fault. In the process of raising children, every parent has their own personality traits, many of which come from their original family.
requires strong self-regulation and the ability to reconcile with yourself, or she can get more love when she becomes an adult, and heal her childhood injuries in love. Otherwise, such injuries will easily affect the children.
Austrian psychologist Adler once said: Lucky people are cured by childhood all their lives, and unfortunate people are cured by childhood all their lives.
Since we are parents, no matter what we have experienced, we must come out of the swamp of emotions, learn to control emotions, and give children a safe and stable emotional environment.
②
For more than a year, I didn’t deliberately teach my daughter anything, and she mainly absorbed it subjectively.
Recently, it has been found that it is difficult to cultivate children's self-discipline through free-range learning methods. Human laziness is innate, it is like a bed in winter. We always want to sleep for another five minutes.
Once she cannot get happiness and sense of accomplishment from her learning, learning is easily transformed into compulsory behavior.
So recently I thought about letting her start to "deliberately learn".
At night, she asked her to recite the "Three Character Classic".
This was what she memorized a year ago, and she was stumbling and absent-minded.
I remember when she first memorized, she had a good memory. She memorized it after repeating it twice. So this happened and I taught her several times but it was still not smooth.
There were several times when I wanted to throw the book on the sofa, but I still held it back.
I saw my daughter's tears kept spinning. At this time, whether I comforted her or lost her temper, she would cry immediately.
Suddenly I thought of the interview my husband participated in before. He said that the other party had no emotions or expressions at all and could not understand them at all.
Perhaps learning should not be emotional.
Sometimes learning is happy and sometimes serious, but now it needs to be emotionally free.
I adjusted the status and continued to teach my daughter over and over again.
Just those few words, whether it is once, ten times or a hundred times, learning is not about rushing to project, it doesn’t matter if it is slower. What’s important about is that if we don’t release bad emotions, children will not easily collapse.
Invisibly, I learned to control my emotions, and my children can also devote themselves to learning more.
We often hope that our children will do anything, but we can't do anything about our emotions.
On the road to raising children, we have a relationship with our children both teachers and friends.
Of course, more often, children are teachers, not us.
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