In this era, families with daughters will be considered the happiest. The pressure in the future is not that great. As long as you educate your daughter well and find a good partner in the future, everything will go smoothly.
However, only by raising a woman knows that the world is difficult. When she was a child, she was worried that she was ignorant and abducted and bullied; when she was adolescent, she was cowardly and bullied on campus; when she became an adult, she was worried that she would encounter bad people and suffer misfortunes. Even if her parents tried their best, she would not be able to protect the girl in the safety circle forever.
As for the future retirement issues, it is said that the daughter is the caring little cotton jacket of her parents. When her parents get older, they will know how to love their parents. But is this really the case?
Writer Liu Yong has written several letters to his daughter, including this passage: "This world is full of competition. You must not regard luck as a habit because you are lucky, because luck does not always stay with us."
Parents cannot accompany their children for the rest of their lives. If you want to live a happy life in your later years, you must first plan in advance in these aspects.
01 Cultivate her independence in the education of children
Many people like to instill with girls that it is better to marry a woman than to do a good job. They think that if a girl gets the best, her parents can enjoy the happiness of her parents.
However, if a woman does not have the strength, her future life can only rely on marriage. A girl who is angry, her in-laws will treat you as her own person and will not be plotted or abandoned.
However, luck is not reliable. If you want to divorce, how your in-laws treat it, these factors are uncontrollable. Instead of giving the child's destiny to others, it is better to improve the child's strength and let the daughter take her destiny into her own hands.
PhD in psychology Huang Han In a letter to his 18-year-old daughter, he mentioned these sentences: "As a baby girl, you must cut off the biological umbilical cord that depends on me when you are born; as an adult, you must cut off the psychological umbilical cord that depends on your parents when you are eighteen; when you are born as a woman, you must never forget to cut off the cultural umbilical cord that depends on men."
shivering under someone else's umbrella to shelter from the rain, it is better to hold an umbrella for yourself and take big steps. Be sure to tell your daughter: Make a living first, then make love. What we pursue is not only economic independence, but also a life that is sufficient to maintain dignity.
Women are born with a weak side, and always want to lean their heads on their warm shoulders and hold themselves tightly with powerful arms. However, over-reliance on men can only backfire.
Yang Lan said: Don’t attach conditions to your love. Marriage is about living together, not who raises whom.
In the TV series "Battle of the Rose", Gu Nian, a full-time wife played by Yuan Quan , interprets this very well.
She was originally a top student in the law department who graduated from a prestigious university. After getting married, she believed her husband's words "I support you", so she gave up her career and returned to her family. Under the protection of her husband, she was almost completely out of track with society, but in the face of the double blow of her husband's crime and cheating, she had to return to the workplace.
Although Gu Nian used to be very strong, she has not been engaged in her major for more than ten years. The beatings in the workplace finally made her understand: people can have nothing, but they cannot lack the ability to support themselves.
TV series " My First Half of Life ", after Luo Zijun married Chen Junsheng, Luo Zijun's mother did have a short-lived glory, but after the son-in-law suddenly changed his mind, even her daughter was kicked out, let alone her mother-in-law.
Whether it is Luo Zijun or Gu Nian, in the play, at least they have noble people to help, so they fall and get up in the end. However, life is far more cruel than TV dramas. If a woman does not have the ability to settle down and even supports herself is a problem, how can she talk about supporting her parents for her old age?
Make money by yourself, no one can point fingers; you are independent, and you don’t need to look at whoever looks. If a woman can support herself, she will not be embarrassed by her if she is angry.
Tell your daughter, don’t think about who you want to live, no one is worthy of your giving up independence!
02 Try more about the major issues of children's marriage
Marriage is not the whole of life, but it can determine the happiness of life. A suitable marriage can bring about relaxed, and an unfortunate marriage can make people suffer.
The only daughter is very weak and most afraid of meeting "bad people".
Some time ago, I saw a story online: a girl turned on the dash cam while repairing a car and heard her husband talking to her brother.
Her husband said: "My mother-in-law's time limit is coming soon. I asked the doctor and it will be basically the second half of the year; by then, several houses will be stable, after all, my wife is the only one daughter in the family."
Suddenly thought of the case of "a pregnant woman falling off a cliff in Thailand". The moment before, the husband hugged her hands and whispered with kisses; the next second, he actually pushed her off the cliff cruelly.
For most parents with only daughters, the most worrying thing is their children's "safety issues". Meeting good people is definitely a blessing; but once they meet bad people, the consequences will be unimaginable.
As the saying goes: "Only by raising a woman knows the dangers of the world" . When a daughter grows up, girls will encounter more risks than boys. When raising a daughter, parents are destined to worry more about the major issues of their children's marriage. After all, once the parents are gone, the only daughter will be unprotected.
During this period, the meme of "Wang Baochuan digging wild vegetables" has become popular all over the Internet and has frequently appeared on hot searches.
Netizens suddenly dug out the TV series " Xue Pinggui and Wang Baochuan " 10 years ago, and made the stills of Wang Baochuan digging wild vegetables and eating wild vegetables into various animated pictures and emoticons, and had a lot of fun.
Once upon a time, Wang Baochuan was the embodiment of virtuousness, but in the current context of the times, he was nicknamed "the originator of love brain " by netizens, becoming synonymous with "silly women". Some people joked: "Look, I don't have a job, I was dumped, so I can only dig wild vegetables."
Wang Baochuan was originally the daughter of the prime minister, and she was proficient in piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, but she fell in love with the poor boy Xue Pinggui . Regardless of her parents' obstruction, she got married to Xue Pinggui in the cold kiln. Later, Xue Pinggui followed the army to fight, rescued the princess, and became the princess. Wang Baochuan, who was unaware of the situation, still hoped that his husband would keep his integrity and live alone in the cold kiln for 18 years. During these eighteen years, Wang Baochuan had to rely on digging wild vegetables to satisfy his hunger.
Just imagine, the prime minister's daughter is desperate for love and ends up digging wild vegetables. So how should we educate our daughter in this fiercely competitive era?
Bi Shumin said in "May You Embrace the World Warmly": "It is better to love yourself than to wait for others to love you."
This journey in life, no one can accompany you for the rest of your life and be your backer for the rest of your life. Parents have a day when they grow old; lovers have unreliable moments; friends will be separated by the crowd. Girls must understand at any time that they love themselves first and then others.
Parents love their children simply because they don’t want their children to be hurt. The reminder of the mother to treat the daughter with her own life experience and experience, so that the daughter can try to avoid detours in love.
If you love someone too blindly, the harm you will suffer is also immeasurable. If you see a person's character clearly, if you have these characteristics, you should stop the loss in time and don't let yourself get hurt too deeply.
So, tell your daughter that before getting married, you must see the man’s living habits clearly, and make a decision after confirming that there is no problem with your character.
03 Make sufficient preparations for their own elderly care
Many parents who have daughters feel that their burden is lighter, but in fact they pass on their pressure to their children.
Gibran said: "Your children are not your children. They are children born from life's desire for themselves. They come to this world with the help of you, but they are not by you, but they are by your side, but they do not belong to you."
As parents, they can rely on their children when they are old, but they cannot place all the financial pressure on their children."There is no filial daughter before the bedside for a long time." If parents have enough pension reserves for themselves, many problems can be solved.
See a story online: "A 72-year-old man cried and went to his daughter's house to retire and retired, which is the most wrong decision I have made in my life."
Lao Gu is 72 years old this year. When he was 60 years old, he retired from public institution and could get a monthly pension of 6,000 yuan. When he was 65 years old, his daughter gave birth to a second child and could not take care of her, so she asked him to come and help take care of the child.
At the beginning, the son-in-law would give him 3,000 yuan in living expenses every month, but later the son-in-law always "forgot" and Lao Gu did not dare to ask for more from his son-in-law, so he used his pension to subsidize his family income. But what Lao Gu did not expect was that his son-in-law not only calculated the living expenses, but even asked him to sponsor some of his car and house.
When we reach old age, what we can really rely on may not be our children, not our partners, but ourselves.
As the saying goes: "If you have financial management, you will never be poor, if you have plans, you will not be confused, if you are prepared, you will not be busy." , you must keep the pension and prepare the cost of pension in advance to have the confidence to enter the old age.
04 Conclusion
People’s lives are constantly struggling, everything is for a good life, enough money and a happy life.
In a family with only daughters, the parents' pattern and the prediction of the problems they will face in the future are very important. Don't always immerse yourself in life without pressure and don't consider your life in your later years.
Parents are not willing to bother their children. They also have their own lives and pressures. So how to solve this problem must be planned in advance.
Don’t wait until the problem is in front of you and think of solutions. Then you will find that you are old and powerless.
Topic discussion today: Which one do you think is happier in his later years, do you think is only one son or one daughter?
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