"Children are grenades. When you have children, you trigger an explosion in your marriage. When the riots subside, your marriage is no longer what it is."

"Children are grenades. When you have children, you trigger an explosion in your marriage. When the riots subside, your marriage is no longer what it is." This is a passage written by writer Nora Evron in the novel "Heart Pain".

When our first child is born, it means that we transition from the role of husband and wife to the role of parenting. Life has also changed dramatically.

The sweet world of the two was broken, and what followed was the rush to take care of the newborn. Moms keep circling around their children all day long, and they have serious lack of sleep. Some mothers are in a state of stress between raising children and working.

, and Bao Dad was at a loss, wanting to help but not knowing where to start. At the same time, he was very dissatisfied with his current wife because he was busy taking care of the children and had no time to accompany him.

The conflict between husband and wife begins to become prominent at this time. The wife was exhausted from taking care of the child, and her husband was at a loss and could not help with anything, which made her emotionally lose control and her complaints escalate. The couple begins to be disharmonious, and the marriage is getting farther and farther away.

So, after the "grenade" explodes, how can we keep our marriage stable and happy?

In fact, after the child is born, as long as the couple keeps up with the changing rhythm and transforms into the role of parents together, they can pass the transition of parenthood without any damage.

Everyone says that being a mother is strong, which means that as soon as a child is born, a woman’s maternal love is fired. From wife to mother, it was a natural transition.

And some husbands, when the first child just arrived, they were still stuck in the world of two people, without realizing the arrival of the child, he became a father. So how do both husband and wife complete the role transformation?

1. Husband should actively participate in taking care of the child

After the child is born, the husband should actively participate in the new field of taking care of the baby. In the process of taking care of the baby, he will gradually realize the joy and responsibility of being a father and understand the difficulty of taking care of Xiaobao. I no longer complain that my wife has no time to accompany him, and the couple has a closer relationship.

Xiaoyu and her husband were very happy after marriage. The two often traveled, danced, and watched movies together, and lived a very happy life. But after the child was born, everything changed.

Xiaoyu takes her children alone to buy groceries and cook, do housework, and open an online store. She is so busy that she trots all the way to the toilet.

After get off work, my husband either went out to eat, drink and have fun with a few buddies, or went home to lie on the sofa and play games. Xiaoyu asked him to help, but he was very dissatisfied and said that he was exhausted to work one day and couldn't even take a break when he got home.

The child was noisy at night and didn't sleep all night. Xiaoyu couldn't stand it anymore and wanted her husband to help her change hands. Not only did her husband not help, she also thought the child was noisy and ran to another room and fell asleep.

The husband turned a blind eye to Xiaoyu's hard work and complained that Xiaoyu didn't care about him. The conflict between the two escalated, the quarrel continued, and the relationship broke down.

After the child was born, Xinxin's husband revolved around the child with Xinxin.

He burped the child and bathed and dressed the child with his wife. When his wife feeds the child, he sits beside him and caresses the child's head.

After get off work every day, they turn off all social engagements and rush home to take care of the baby. At night, the baby was quarreling, and he and his wife took turns to get up to take care of the child.

Seeing that his wife was not sleeping enough, Xinxin’s husband took the initiative to take the child to play with him and let his wife take care of her sleep.

Xinxin said that after the child was born, she had a closer relationship with her husband, had a deeper understanding of each other, and had a stronger relationship.

2. Moms should not exclude their fathers from taking care of their children

Some mothers take good care of their newly born babies when they were first mothers, and they cannot tolerate their husbands' clumsiness in taking care of their babies.I always condemn my husband who is a new father, and I can't do this or that. I do everything myself and invisibly squeeze my husband out of the task of taking care of his children.

Nana gave birth to a white and fat son, and she felt both awe and amazement at this fragile little man. She was worried about anyone taking care of this villain except herself.

The husband saw that Nana was working hard to take care of the child, so he took the initiative to go over and take the initiative to help. But Nana always shouted at her husband: "You are so stupid, is it like this how a child is hugged?" "The bath water is too cold, and you won't even put a bath water." "Look at you, is it like this how diapers are put?"

The husband was at a loss in Nana's bombardment and became less and less confident. Later, he became a hand-off manager.

Nana is getting more and more irritable because she is too tired to take care of her children, and she loses her temper at her husband at any time. The husband was affected by Nana's emotions and his mood became worse and worse. The relationship between the two is getting tense.

The husband is a member of this family, and it is his responsibility and obligation to take care of the children.

Husband does not, the wife can make small and appropriate suggestions to the husband in a gentle way. Or let your husband read some baby guide books, give him time, and make him competent. Instead of scolding and criticizing him, he was squeezed out.

3. Get to know each other and pay attention to each other’s needs

Some wives focus all their energy on taking care of their babies when they first became mothers, and ignore their husbands’ needs and neglect their husbands.

When the husband sees his wife putting her energy on the baby all day long, he missed his wife’s former appearance very much. The feeling of loss of being neglected by your wife will spread in your heart, and dissatisfaction with your wife will breed in your heart.

After Xiaomei became a mother, she focused on her children. This pink little guy occupied all her space and time, and she could no longer spare her energy to take care of her husband.

It was not until later that she found that her husband went home late and spent less and less time at home, which attracted her attention.

So, one weekend, Xiaomei invited her parents to help her take care of her children, and she asked her husband to go to the cafe they often went to when they were in love.

In a romantic and quiet atmosphere, they seemed to have returned to the past. The husband was filled with emotion and opened his heart to Xiaomei. It is said that since the birth of the child, the two of them have not had a good meal or chatted together. He missed the sweet days of the two of them in the past. He felt very disappointed.

Xiaomei told her husband that she knew she had ignored him and that she would try her best to take time to accompany him in the future. But she was very tired of taking care of Xiaobao, and hoped that her husband would take care of Xiaobao more and help with more housework in the future.

After hearing Xiaomei's words, her husband felt ashamed and promised to go home early in the future to help Xiaomei take care of her children.

After that cafe conversation, Xiaomei and her husband changed a lot.

Xiaomei began to pay attention to her husband's needs and communicated with her husband frequently to let her husband know that he is still the most important person in her life. On weekends, Xiaomei will entrust her children to her parents and enjoy the rare world of two people with her husband.

The husband is getting home earlier and earlier, and he takes the initiative to help his wife do housework and take care of the children every day. Let Xiaomei make time to take a break. The husband has experienced the responsibility and pleasure of being a father in taking care of his children, and has also understood and supported his wife more and more.

They were surprised to find that when the two were alone, the topic they talked about the most was the child. Not only did the children not drag down their marriage, but instead made them closer and more understanding of each other.

In a family, the couple is like a team. Only two people understand and cooperate with each other, and constantly adjust their pace. Only by entering the role of parenting can the family be harmonious and happy.