Have you ever been driven crazy by the moment when your child rebelled: I live on the third floor and always walk up and down the stairs every time. My slut never walks. I always like to climb the handrail and climb up and down. It was a trivial matter to get dirty. The key was t

Have you ever been driven crazy by the moment when your child is rebellious:

My house lives on the third floor, and I always walk up and down the stairs every time. My nerd never walks. He always likes to climb the handrail and slide up and down. It was a trivial matter to get dirty. The key was that he sometimes slid down while I was not paying attention to it and turned from sitting and sliding on the front, which made me thrilled. I lost my patience and turned on the Hedong Lion Roar Mode in the corridor, and then made a long speech to reason with him;

These days, from eight or nine o'clock in the evening, the child yelled to go down to play with his friends. I told him, "It's a change, and even children won't come out to play." He didn't believe it, and cried and made a fuss. No matter what you said to him, he would not listen or be interested. He would go downstairs no matter what. I was so angry that I couldn't stand it. I slapped me, and went to cry under the quilt...

I have tried hard on the road of educating my children to rebelliousness: from being able to reason carefully at the beginning, to being unable to control myself from losing my temper, and finally patiently implemented a trick that was deliberately moved, but the result was all "fruitful". Instead, the child became more and more rebellious and became uncontrollable. As he grew older, he finally ignored the existence of his parents.

One of the stupid ways to educate children to rebelliously: "reasoning", no matter how much you say it, it is invalid output

Try to pull the child back from the edge of rebellion by reasoning. I found that this is the initial and most common solution for many parents when they find that their children are rebellious. I want my child to realize the problem by himself and then take the initiative to correct his mistakes. Although the starting point is good, this method is really useless.

Because you say ≠ the child will listen:

You have been paying attention to how to reason with your child, but ignore how to let your child listen to this principle. For example:

You don’t let your child slide the handrail in the corridor, saying it is dangerous and will be injured. But the child didn't feel it was dangerous! He was not injured again! Even if someone is injured, he is not injured. Why can’t he slip? Even if you tell him seriously, she will not slip in front of you at most.

And the younger the child is, the lower the probability of following the truth. Therefore, when we educate our children with principles, we must keep in mind one sentence: reasoning means understanding people speak to people who "do not understand", and make the other party believe it and take the initiative to do it.

Telling children this principle is not to instill and preach

too superficial and has not experienced it personally. It can only affect children's opinions, but it cannot affect children's behavior. We must learn to let the child understand that "what you said is right" and you must learn to let him "accept his mistake" by himself. How to recognize it? For example:

There was a time when the child yelled to go down to play with his friends when he was eight or nine o'clock in the evening. I told him, "It's a change of time, and even the children won't come out to play anymore." He didn't believe it. Next, I took him down to play according to his wishes, but it was agreed that how long it would take to stay before I could come back after I went down, and I would not be able to go back if I didn’t stay enough.

The child was downstairs, and there was no child, and he was still very cold. He thought about going home after playing for two minutes. I told him that I would never go back if I had agreed to do so for ten minutes. Ten minutes later, when I got home, the child acted extremely well and went to bed by himself after taking a shower.

You should let the child understand that what you are saying is right. It will be more effective than verbally emphasize it.

The second "stupid way" to educate children to rebelliously: lose your temper, the more you become, the more rebellious the more you become

Educating your children with emotions is an unnatural way for parents to solve their children's rebellious problems. From scolding to beating and throwing things, I wanted to change my child's behavior, but I didn't expect that this approach would not only fail to correct my child's bad habits, but instead made my child more rebellious.

When my son was in elementary school, he was particularly obsessed with various cards. One card costs 2 yuan, and he bought hundreds of them. Every day when I get home, I either do not do my homework to play with the cards, or after I finish it perfunctorily, I will take the cards to play with my classmates. The grades plummeted, and I had been slandered many times, but they were ineffective. The child's father was so angry that he immediately tore all his cards in front of him.

I thought the child would change, but the next day he went to buy the card with pocket money, but this time he did it very hidden and hid the card...

Try to change the rebellious child by getting angry, which takes effect quickly, and has great side effects:

① Parents get angry and lose their temper. The first feeling of the child is not to reflect on what mistakes he has made, but to be scared by your emotions. When you lose your temper and educate him, he can't hear what you are saying at all. He mostly feels fear in his heart and hopes to end this education as soon as possible. Therefore, it is more likely that he will make mistakes or make secret mistakes in the future.

② Parents have lost their temper to educate their children, which invisibly creates a violent education method for their children. First, the children are prone to becoming emotional; second, they will also become yours to get along with others.

③You make your children surrender by losing your temper and violence. For some stubborn people, they may become more and more rebellious.

If you want to educate your child well, you want your child to listen to what you are educating him. Please learn to control your emotions first and don’t let your "temper" scare the child away the courage to listen.

The third "stupid way" to educate children to rebelliously: deliberately moved, but you are touched by yourself

I have a friend who has a self-touching personality, and even educating children. When facing the rebellious child and repeatedly disobeying her advice, she knelt in front of her child with a "length" and begged her to be obedient, to him change herself, and to begged him to feel sorry for his parents to make money. However, the child was indifferent to this deliberate and touching action, and in the end she was the only one who moved herself.

Deliberately moved, there are several common tricks:

• chant in the child's ears every day, how hard it is, how hard it is for parents to earn money, how bad the health is, how tired it is;
• The child makes a mistake, kneels in front of him, begging him not to be like this;
• thinks he is doing something that children will be moved...

Why don’t children be treated with this deliberate way of touching their parents?

There is a saying that goes without saying "raising a child will tell the kindness of parents." In other words, you will know the kindness of parents when you raise a child. When children are young, especially during puberty rebellious periods, they cannot sense their parents' concern for them. Instead, they tend to think that their parents care too much and don't like me.

Some of the deliberate touching methods you do in front of him may make them feel that you are threatening and forcing them with the role of "parent". Even though compromises on the surface, in the child's mind, "they refuse", is very likely to make a mistake again.

People are equal to others, there is no need to use this trick to be overly and humble and deliberately moved

Although children and parents have a gap in age, knowledge and experience, and parenting relationships, children are also human beings. They are equal to adults and need to be respected. If a child makes a mistake, he should be punished as expected. Don’t make the wrong person he admits to . Don’t make mistakes by children, but adults admit them.

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