When it comes to "self-esteem", it seems that this is an adult's business.
was frustrated in the workplace and was criticized by the boss;
confessed to a girl, but was rejected in public;
forgot to give money to eat, but was criticized by the store.
At these moments, we can all sense the existence of self-esteem, and even hear the sound of it shattering in our hearts.
But In children, where does self-esteem reflect in ? How can we help children build self-esteem and confidence and grow into a lively and cheerful person?
First, establish a communication channel with your children.
After all, children are young and encounter some sudden setbacks and difficulties, their minds will fall into chaos and obstruction.
At this time, if parents do not pay attention to the subtle changes that occur in their children and lack smooth communication channels with their children, it is easy to cause catastrophic consequences due to delays, concealment and misunderstandings.
Moreover, Even children have a subjective tendency to naturally keep in touch with their families around them.
Even if parents don’t like to talk and are always busy, as long as they can be with their children often and keep paying attention and responding to their children’s words and deeds at all times, it is equivalent to having emotional and psychological connections with their children.
Children who grow up in a family atmosphere with parents' company and care are not lacking in security from the bottom of their hearts. Their performance in the workplace and life in the future will often appear more positive, optimistic and independent, and will not always be timid and worried about gains and losses.
Secondly, communicate with children and avoid language violence .
cannot be said to be always there. Just because you are the parent of your child, you can criticize and scold the child in front of others regardless of his face and self-esteem.
or as long as the child's grades decline, he can't control himself and nag in front of his children from morning to night, day after day.
Obviously, such language violence is the most likely to hurt the child's self-esteem, self-confidence and emotional psychology.
In other words, if parents always habitually criticize and ridicule their children excessively, then the children of this family will easily form a paranoid and inherent "low-level self-evaluation" under the long-term imposed verbal violence and educational anxiety.
Even after adulthood, they are often particularly prone to "social terror", cowardly, sensitive, inferior and cringe, and are extremely sensitive to others' evaluations and frustrations.
So, wants to establish and cultivate children's self-esteem and avoid verbal violence, which is the most critical link.
Again, give positive comments on children's growth and progress in a timely manner.
The self-esteem and confidence of any child must come from the sense of gain, pride and pleasure related to his own abilities, progress and evaluation.
In other words, when a child learns new knowledge, new skills and new concepts, little by little progress and the acquisition of perception are all elements of his continuous accumulation and enhancement of his self-esteem.
Because As parents, we should actively encourage our children to try and learn , and abilities and hobbies that match their age and physical and mental development.
In this way, when children communicate, play and compare with other children, their qualities and abilities will not be too far behind in all aspects, so they will naturally not lack self-esteem and self-confidence in interpersonal communication.
Finally, we should avoid "accompanying education" and encourage children to take the initiative to try.
In fact, some parents are very clear in their hearts that they should cultivate their children's self-care ability as soon as possible.
But in daily life, no matter what housework the child does, he feels like he is clumsy and does it several times but fails to achieve the expected results. He suddenly feels angry and simply snatched the rag and broom from the child and "taken" all the work by himself, which is a bit too hasty.
In fact, when we guide and cultivate children to do housework, even if they are very difficult to do and the completion efficiency is not high, they should avoid "instructed education" and wait for the children to complete, and objectively, reasonably and appropriately give positive evaluations, or even appropriate rewards to the children's efforts and completion results.
Of course, for post-evaluation such as , we must pay attention to truthfulness and objective reasoning. We must never wait until the child finishes it, and parents will praise them indiscriminately and unrealistically.
This will cause the child to have some mismatch and incompatible self-evaluation of himself. If he comes to school or collective life in the future, his words, deeds and abilities cannot show the imagined competitive advantage, then the false self-esteem that the child has always formed will cause psychological collapse due to strong contrast, and the maintenance of his self-esteem and self-confidence will have disastrous consequences.
In short, Parents can help their children develop and maintain their self-esteem, which cannot be done overnight, every word and action.
In the family life of knowing and accompanying children, we must establish communication channels with children, avoid verbal violence, give positive evaluations after children make progress, and avoid "instructed education" stifle children's practical skills.
In addition, many parents always say that is a bad habit of comparing "other people's children" with their own children, and they should also take a break.
can be seen that only when parents do every detail and trivial matter in the process of educating their children in detail, their emotions and personality will have true self-esteem and self-confidence.
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