As the saying goes, raise children to prevent old age.
There are blood-connected between parents and children, and this relationship cannot be cut off anyway.
When the child first came to this world, his parents took care of him in every way, wishing he could help his child arrange everything, wishing that his child would never get sick, be sad, and be healthy and happy forever.
A person's growth takes countless efforts. It can be said that most parents are doing their best to live for their children.
Many people think that when parents get old and their children grow up, their positions should be transferred to serve the elderly.
There are also some people who are used to staying with their children. Even if they grow up, they are forced to live with their children, believing that only in this way can their later years feel more secure.
But in fact, several elderly people expressed their different opinions on this. They believed that when people are old, they must not be too involved with their children, and they must not live under the same roof!
01
My name is Zhang Chunhong, and it's 73 this year.
5 years ago, my wife left because she was sick and I lived alone in my hometown.
The familiar environment, every corner of the house, every bit of memories makes me feel sad.
My own health has also become bad because of this. My wife has been away for three months, but I suddenly feel like I am a teenager.
My son works in a second-tier city and has already started a family. I have a cute little granddaughter.
The younger generation was worried about me and offered to let me go and live with them. I didn’t want to leave my hometown, but I really didn’t want to face the empty house alone, so I agreed.
After going there, my son and daughter-in-law were very nice to me, and my granddaughter was also very lively, and she shouted around my grandma every day.
For a while, I was very comfortable. Although I still remembered my wife from time to time, my overall mental state was much better than before.
Later I came back.
Because I found myself there, it was just a mess.
has no social interaction, the only ones that can be relied on are the two of them.
But their young people are very busy at work now, they go out early in the morning and come back from get off work very late.
After I get home, I have to take care of my feelings. I see all these things in my eyes and remember them in my heart.
So, after living for a while, I suggested that I would not stay there anymore, my son and daughter-in-law kept me, but I still insisted on leaving.
Before leaving, I stuffed a bank card to my daughter-in-law, which contained 50,000 yuan, and expressed my gratitude to her.
is back now, and they will call back every now and then to say hello, and I slowly walked out of the sadness of losing my wife.
02
Lao Li, 60 years old.
I retired, and my plan has not been arranged yet, but I will never move to live with my children.
My lover is the same age as me, and she has long since retired.
We plan to raise a cat and a dog in the future and live our own little life.
I don’t care about the child’s affairs anymore, nor can I care about it.
Don’t say I’m open-minded, and don’t say I’m still young and have a big heart.
I will get sick and become very old in the future, but I still won’t live with my children.
Because I lived with my parents when I was young, I knew what it felt, so I will never make my children uncomfortable anymore.
Everyone has his own life. My wife and I have been working together for decades and we often stumbling, so why bother with our children and let them accommodate us?
The child has grown up. He has his own family and his own life. He wants to play until two or three in the morning or want a couple to live a small life. It is his freedom.
If we elderly people go, how inconvenient they will have to be.
Of course, if one day they need us to help, we will make a decision after careful consideration.
03
Aunt Li, 68 years old.
I only have one daughter, and I went to her place for a while last year.
experience is really not very good, it is just the feeling of living under someone else’s roof.
Many people will say that it is because I gave birth to a daughter, and my daughter is someone else's person when she married someone else's family. It is normal for me, the mother-in-law, to be regarded as an outsider in the past.
If you go to your son's house, you won't.
Then I want to say that you are all wrong. In a family, only couples and children are one.
As for parents, no matter how good they are, they will definitely be excluded from the small family.
is a very simple example.
When they educate their children, they will tell me not to interfere;
When they discuss many family matters, I am confused and will not tell me too much;
When they go out for dinner with friends, I usually have to stay by myself.
My daughter and son-in-law are all very nice to me, but I just don’t have a sense of belonging.
In fact, the child is not wrong at all. The key fact is that. There are circles in the family, and parents can only become outsiders in that circle.
END
0 Whether to live with your children, there is actually no fixed answer.
But when dealing with others, we are destined to be unable to avoid many conflicts. In order to make yourself less in your later years, to make your children not difficult, and to make family harmony, I think the elderly should not have to tie them up with their children unless they have to.
If you feel that your children are unwilling to live with you, don’t blame them for despising you and being unfilial.
Withdrawing from children’s life with a decent attitude is what the elderly should have.
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