Since we can have a second or third child, the mothers in the family who only have one child have basically been urged by the elderly. Even I didn't let it go. I had two daughters, and they actually asked me to have a third child. It was obvious that I wanted me to have a son.
My cousin is a little "worse" than me. Every time there is a party at home, I make fun of her because she only gave birth to one, and she always told others that one is enough and she will not have a second child again.
Then, those who had given birth to a second child and the elderly at home persuaded her, and there were all kinds of reasons. I felt that not having a second child was a big mistake.
"While you are still young, you can have a second child and ask your mother-in-law to help you take care of you, your baby will also have a partner in the future";
"If you don't have one more, you will know that there are many children when you get old, it is a blessing";
"If you don't have a second child, do you just want to relax yourself, but you don't know that your baby will take care of you and your wife alone in the future, and she will not be relaxed";
These are just family friendly persuasion, and some people outside say that it is really ugly. My cousin said that there is an old lady, who should be her mother-in-law's square dance friend. When she saw her, she actually said, "If you don't want to have another child, just give up the position."
When the old lady said this, my cousin hadn't reacted yet. She only understood what she was saying when the old lady walked away. After she got home, she told her mother-in-law about the matter. She did not admit that she knew such a person and ended up in the end.
However, I have also talked to my cousin about the topic of second child . The difference between only gave birth to one and the second child is really obvious. doesn’t have to wait for ten or twenty years. It can be seen in recent years, which is both realistic and helpless.
The main reason why my cousin does not want a second child is Family pressure . She said that raising a child takes a lot of time and expenses. My daughter is in poor health, so she can eat fine food, but she often sees a doctor. From birth to kindergarten, she eats milk powder, diapers, tuition fees, etc., and uses relatively expensive food.
After my cousin said this, I also feel that having a second child in this lifestyle really puts a lot of pressure on them. I remember that I save money on raising two daughters, but the invisible expenses every month are also quite high. If I raise children like my cousin, I guess my family will not be able to make it.
I have seen a data table on the Internet. The total cost of raising a child is between 620,000 and 1.978,000 yuan, and raising two children is more than 1.25 million yuan. If you train them better, there is no upper limit. It is exaggerated to think about it.
Thinking of the time when my grandmother was sick, the elderly just went home without going anywhere. If they didn’t have many children, everyone took turns to take care of them and only gave birth to one, they would really not be able to do it.
Similarly, when my grandmother was hospitalized, there was an aunt next to the bed. She only gave birth to one child, and this child was by the bed every day. I heard that I had been with me for a long vacation. Fortunately, my family could take it, but I couldn't keep up with my energy and didn't have much energy all day.
He said he could hire a nurse to take care of his mother, but his mother was unhappy and insisted on him coming over. The old man became stubborn and couldn't even pull back a few cows.
So, a family that only has one child is quite relaxed when I was young, but when I get old, if something happens, it is possible that the child will suffer. If the older ones are not, I will say that I have to accompany you alone. It is not happier to be with my children. Because people are old, their needs are different from those when they were young.
Mothers in daughter's class know each other. Some mothers are really young, while others are much older. In comparison, it is only seen that Most young mothers are just one, and mothers who give birth to two look more haggard.
One of the mothers talked to me a lot. She is a second child like me, but the age difference between the two children is too short, so both children have to pester her. After tutoring homework here, they have to bathe the second baby. They turn with gyro every day, making me sloppy.
Indeed, mothers are always busy and coaxing each other in order to make both children feel that their mothers love them and do not favor each other. If there is only one child, the mother will not have to coax this one and that one after the coax it. It is easy to take care of a child, and the father is willing to participate. The mother will naturally be much more relaxed and will have more time to dress up.
Take into account the above three points. It is really difficult to choose whether to have a second child, but we can decide based on the actual situation of .
Take the second point as an example. The more children you support your parents, the better, but can I not want a second child? Yes, if your parents or your husband's parents have two children, then you will be fine with one. Better to your siblings' children. When you get old and need help, they will be happy to help them .
However, I personally recommend having a second child. If the child grows up, it will be much happier, but the premise is that parents should not favor boys over girls.
Finally, Are you going to have a second child? What reason do you want it?
text: Abuti says parenting
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