Chinese people have always paid attention to surnames. When a child is born, taking the father's surname or mother's surname can trigger a big drama. Especially for families with son-in-law who come to the house, if they are not handled well, they will hurt their relationship at the least, and tragedy will occur at the worst.
Aunt Lan has this understanding. Her son Lin Cheng is a son-in-law for someone, and she no longer dares to ask for the surname Lin for her grandchildren born in the future. Although she was worried, she thought that her son’s life was more important than anything else, so she had to enlighten herself.
However, the daughter-in-law actually told her to name her newborn grandson. After hearing what her daughter-in-law said, she burst into tears.
1
The son told Aunt Lan a week in advance that he would take his girlfriend Cai Xue home. Aunt Lan was both happy and sad. What I am happy is that my son's lifelong affairs are very impressive. What I am sad is that I heard from my son that the girl is an only child and has a good family background.
And they have nothing but a small house.
The day before the meeting, Aunt Lan cleaned her home spotlessly. On the day we met, we went to the vegetable market to buy vegetables and fruits early. As soon as we arrived home, we went into the kitchen, fry, stir-fry and cooked, in an orderly manner.
After a while, my son and Cai Xue also arrived. Cai Xueluo greeted Aunt Lan generously.
Aunt Lan saw that Cai Xue had a beautiful appearance and a bright smile. Her eyes were curved and sweet, which made people feel comfortable. I feel a little more favorable.
Although Aunt Lan said she would not go into the kitchen, her son and Cai Xue still took the initiative in the kitchen, and the two young men talked and laughed and cooked.
chat after dinner, Aunt Lan asked about the situation at Cai Xue’s home. Cai Xue was very low-key and told me a few words. Speaking of other topics, Cai Xue is also polite, knows how to listen and has his own ideas.
Meet once and have fun. The son sent Cai Xue home.
Aunt Lan sat alone in the living room, feeling mixed feelings. On the one hand, I feel that my son is too old and his son is about to get married. On the other hand, I think Cai Xue is excellent and her son is not worthy of her.
Aunt Lan was 36 years old and her husband died of a sudden illness. Over the years, she has pulled her son up by herself, and she has tried her best to be able to eat, wear and finish her studies. There was not much savings at home, and the wedding house, bride price, etc., which were pressing on her heart like a mountain.
When the son returned home, he couldn't wait to ask, "Mom, how about Cai Xue? Do you like her?"
Aunt Lan gave a positive answer and expressed her concerns.
"Mom, this is exactly what I want to tell you. Cai Xue is the only daughter. Her parents do not object to our marriage, but I hope I can become a son-in-law and live with them after marriage."
Aunt Lan saw her son's expectant look and she thrust her heart twice. Since ancient times, most son-in-laws from home have not been favored. Although they have been weakened with the progress of society and their thoughts have become more open-minded, it has never been easy.
"Do you want to?" Aunt Lan asked her son.
"Cai Xue and I truly love each other and are determined to live together for the rest of our lives. I am willing. But I also care about your thoughts and feelings, and I hope you will get your support."
My son has been so confident, what else can she say? Aunt Lan doesn't blame her son for being a son-in-law, she just blames herself for not being able to do it.
My son thought Aunt Lan's sadness was because of her concern for the elderly care issue, so he patted his chest and said, "I won't leave you alone. If you want, I will rent a house for you in the same community. Otherwise, Cai Xue and I will come back to see you every week, and even if we don't have time, we will have to miss you."
Aunt Lan was amused by her poor son.
Later, the son and Cai Xue got married. Aunt Lan looked at the happiness on her son's face and felt a little comforted.
2
Two years later, Cai Xue became pregnant. Before giving birth, her son and Cai Xue took Aunt Lan home and said that the whole family should be neatly and share the joy of the child's birth together.
Aunt Lan secretly asked her son what her surname was when the child was born in the future. The son did not give a positive answer and asked Aunt Lan what she thought.
"What I think is not important. For unnecessary conflicts, then follow the customs, follow Cai Xue's surname Cai, the daughter-in-law's family is smooth, and the child's surname is Cai Nabaifu."
Aunt Lan said this, and her son smiled and did not continue the topic.
Later, Cai Xue gave birth to a big fat boy.
Aunt Lan and her in-laws took good care of Cai Xue and the baby. I occasionally hear my son and daughter-in-law tell you how to name it. Aunt Lan would walk away silently every time and go to do housework. It seems that nothing she said was appropriate for naming.
But my son and daughter-in-law took the initiative to find Aunt Lan. "Mom, we have decided to ask you to name the baby, the baby's surname is Lin."
Aunt Lan was so shocked that she couldn't organize her language. It took a while to recover. "Can your parents agree?" Aunt Lan asked inquiringly.
"This is what my parents mean, and it is also what we mean." For several years, Cai Xue has always been gentle and polite to Aunt Lan.
Cai Xue said that since she got married to Lin Cheng, he has treated her sincerely and has never let her be angry and wronged. Lin Cheng is as filial to his parents as his own son. He is diligent in his daily life and can do what he should do without ambiguity. More importantly, you never lose the chain at critical moments.
Last year, Cai Xue's mother accidentally fell while climbing the steps, broke the bone at the ankle of her right foot, and had three steel nails in surgery. When I went to the hospital for a re-examination, Lin Cheng was carrying it on his back.
Also, some time ago, Cai Xue's father found gallbladder polyps and needed an excision. During Cai Xue's pregnancy, she was inconvenient and Lin Cheng ran up and down during the hospitalization.
"My parents said that a son-in-law is half a son, Lin Cheng is no different from his own son. He is sincere and kind to them, and is also very good to me. He is good at being abilities and ambitious, and you teach all this well. If you plant trees, we will enjoy the shade, and we will take advantage of it." Cai Xue looked at Aunt Lan sincerely.
This heart-to-heart talk was impossible for Aunt Lan to not be moved. Aunt Lan looked at her son and Cai Xue, her eyes turned red.
"This is reincarnation and a son. Have you really considered it?" Aunt Lan confirmed again that she didn't want to have conflicts over the child's name and destroy her relationship.
"Mom, don't think too much. The child's surname is Lin Cheng's child. Let his surname be Lin. Give him a name. When you think about it, we will go to birth certificate ." Cai Xue said with a smile.
Aunt Lan nodded vigorously, and a big tear fell on her hand.
Shortly after they finished speaking, Cai Xue's parents also came back for a walk. Aunt Lan walked over quickly, holding her mother-in-law's hand, wanting to say a lot but can't say it, and kept saying several "thank you".
3
surname is not just a symbol and symbol. It not only has a long history of clan relations, but also closely related to blood ties. A child is born and continues from generation to generation, which is the continuation of life, a major event and a happy event. And the child’s name is crucial in the eyes of parents. For the family of the son-in-law, the child's name is more complicated.
From the story of Lin Cheng becoming a son-in-law, we can understand two truths:
Don’t look at the son-in-law with tinted glasses, don’t label the son-in-law as a soft meal, there are also good things for son-in-law. The conflict between the son-in-law’s family is like a silent volcano, which will be more intense once it erupts.
Some elderly people are prejudiced against their son-in-law, are arrogant in life, are used to suppressing and controlling, lack respect, do not ask about small matters, do not discuss big matters, and do not regard their son-in-law as their real family. Women are rarely kind to their husbands and dislike their incompetence and poor ability. Even if a man works hard, it is difficult to catch his eye.
But the son-in-law also needs to be respected by birth and longs for sincere treatment.
If you really think about your daughter's happiness, as an elderly person in the family, you should respect, trust and support your real-life son-in-law who is kind and motivated.Let go of unnecessary alertness, pay attention to the attitude and way of speaking, let go when it is time to let go, and just let the young people work hard.
As a son-in-law, a man is somewhat sensitive. As a woman, be more sincere in accepting her husband, less superior, pay attention to her husband's inner feelings, and learn to think from the perspective of others. Even if there is any controversy over some matters, don’t hurt people by saying it to your son-in-law.
Whether it is the father's surname or the mother's surname, the child is born because of love. Giving the child love companionship and education is more important than fighting for the child's name. Some people say that the child of a son-in-law who comes to the house should also take the surname of his father. He cannot deprive his father of his father just because of his son-in-law's identity. Some people also say that they should take their mother's surname, and the man is in the back room after all.
In fact, our country's laws stipulate that children can follow their father's surname or mother's surname, as long as the two people agree on it. This is the same with the son-in-law's family.
Compared to considering whether the child takes the father's surname or the mother's surname, it is better to learn to be qualified parents together and give his children a companionship and education.
Children who grow up in a loving family atmosphere, whether they follow their father's surname or mother's surname, are filial children who know how to feel sorry for their parents. When the child is successful, it is the honor of his parents.
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