Recently, "The Lancet" released a latest data: 350 million new patients with depression are added to every year worldwide.
Depression Institute also collected 6,670 questionnaires. The survey results showed that more than 50% of patients with depression were students.
In other words, every year, thousands of children suffer from depression, and the causes of the disease are all kinds, which is often surprising.
Because there are many reasons for children to get sick, they seem to be no different from normal people, but they have been competing with suicide, self-harm, and suicide impulses for a long time, and urgently need the attention of their parents.
Image source: movie "Honey Depression"
Today I want to tell you about the real mental journey of three depression children.
Depressed child 1:
The most difficult time, my mother became my light
Girl, 19 years old, local, freshman in 985 school, with a family history of depression.
Four months ago, I broke up. In order to take revenge on me, my cheating ex-boyfriend posted my private photos in the group.
Since then, I have been very afraid of meeting people. After the epidemic has closed down, it has gradually developed to not wash my hair, not leave the dormitory, and not talk to my roommates.
Picture source: TV series "The Taozi who does not seek to improve"
Can't sleep every night, and sheds in the corridor like a ghost; sheds sleep during the day, and sheds tears inexplicably after waking up.
I was discriminated against by my teacher in high school because of depression. I was afraid of recurrence of depression and was treated with strange eyes, so I didn't tell anyone the truth.
My parents asked me what was wrong, and I blamed them for forcing me and had a fight with them for the first time. After the quarrel, I felt so guilty. I cried to my mother in the video:
"Mom, I'm sorry, you gave birth to a garbage, you must be very disappointed with me..."
Picture source: TV series "The Taozi who doesn't seek to improve"
Mom listened to me silently, without saying a word.
I know I must have scared her, but I can't care about so much. I really need someone to listen to me, and my mother has always been my friend.
Later, it seemed as if my heart was in tune with each other, my mother came to school.
I didn’t know my mom was here, and she didn’t tell me either. Until one day, I was drying clothes on the balcony and saw an old lady moving her hands and feet on the street outside the dormitory through the iron window.
I rubbed my eyes and looked closely: Isn’t that my mother?
The university dormitory where I am is close to the back door, facing a well-connected road. Driving schools often come here to practice driving secretly. There are also some milk tea snack shops on the roadside, with cars coming and going and people flowing.
Why did my mother come here? She knew that outsiders could not enter and exit during the school closure period?
I didn’t even think about it, and immediately ran to my mother, and asked through the door, panting: Why are you here?
My mother pretended to be casual: Oh, I happened to be walking here, and I thought the air was good and I would do exercise.
Can you go so far when you walk? It takes an hour to take the subway from my home to school! In my surprise, my mother had already done a set of radio gymnastics and walked back with her hands behind her back.
Later, she would come almost every afternoon at the same time, and do radio gymnastics on the roadside with the attention of people around her, regardless of wind or rain.
As long as I walk up the balcony, I can see the old lady who takes an hour's subway to the opposite side of my dormitory to rub her knees.
Because of her, I got out of bed more and more during the day.
About a week later, I mustered up the courage to tell her: "My depression may have relapsed. Do you think I can get better?"
My mother replied in seconds: "It must be."
The moment I received the message, I cried, and tears fell like strings.
Since then, my mother has been wandering around college more times. When she sees beautiful flowers and cute cats, she will take photos and send them to me. I don’t know where this person who has not yet retired has come from.
Under her influence, I began to feel that the outside world was also quite beautiful. Every day I see a 50-year-old woman dancing and fucking energetic every day, I feel embarrassed to lie in bed all day.
Slowly, I returned to my normal routine and started to attend classes normally.
Image source: TV series "My Liberation Log"
Four months later, my mother still didn't mention anything, humming a song while cooking.
I was happy as soon as I heard that song: I love you, you love me, Mixue Bingcheng Sweet honey.
. My mother was brainwashed by listening to the divine song every day. My dad thought she was weird and she thought she was singing catchy!
Depressed child 2:
I took a leave of school because of depression, and my parents said "good"
The boy, 16 years old, has a rise in his early years, has too much pressure to study, and is mildly depressed.
The high school entrance examination is three months away. The middle school I studied is extremely high, but it is all obtained by squeezing students.
A slogan was posted on the podium: There is a way out but no way out, leaving a way out is a dead end!
Teacher shouted at the top of his voice every day: "If you don't get into high school, you will be finished in your next life! You are just a useless person who is useless to society!"
The school boarding system is militarized management. You get up at 6:30 in the morning to study every day, hand over your mobile phone at 9:30 in the evening, and only have half an hour lunch break at noon.
Every month, the class teacher will count the students who have made the slowest progress in the class. They criticize and fight in front of everyone. People often cry and get angry, and the teacher ignores it.
I don’t know which day I started to feel that being alive was boring. I was in a daze in class, had insomnia at night, my grades declined, and the teacher held my ears to invite my parents.
Picture source: movie "Liang Yi's Children's Day"
Fortunately, my parents were relatively open-minded. After being criticized by the teacher, they didn't say anything about me when they came out, but asked me what I was thinking.
I told them: "I don't want to study anymore, I'm too tired."
That night, my parents closed the door and discussed it all night. The next day, they took me to the mental health center. The doctor diagnosed me with mild depression.
A few more days later, they called me and told me: Then you can prepare for the high school entrance examination at home.
My eyes were almost falling off, and a burst of ecstasy was followed by.
Since entering this school, I have seen many students with depression. Their parents always force them to continue studying, and my parents actually agreed to let me take a break from school!
At that moment, I buried my head and cried on the table for a long time.
After returning home, my parents first asked me what was going on in school. After listening, they asked me to take a weekend off first and continue to study next week. The learning progress that should be grasped cannot be lost, and I agree.
My dad told me frankly:
"Affected by the epidemic, the company now only gives me a basic salary and has no work to do, but don't worry, our family has enough savings for you to finish college.
If you want to go to high school, I will be your teacher from now on, and I will be responsible for teaching you. If you don't want to, go out to work now. Our family does not raise free food.”
From that day on, I started to work hard with my dad and keep practicing questions.
also got up at 6:30 in the morning. I didn’t feel the feeling of being so bad in school, but I was very motivated.
Picture source: movie "Like Father and Son"
every night at 9:30 in the evening, and my dad has to prepare lessons.
My mother was not idle either. She was busy at work, but now she had to cook morning and evening. She didn't sleep well on weekends, so she pulled me to run in the morning.
I deliberately ran in front, and was sad because I saw her wrinkles and dark circles.
A month later, the psychiatrist felt that I could return to normal life. After some discussion, my parents sent me back to school.
Although my grades were not too far behind, the teacher said in front of everyone that I had "a mental problem". I retorted him for the first time: "There are not many mentally normal in this class. "
The teacher said I was "rebelled". My parents insisted on standing on my side and took the initiative to talk to the teacher. I regretted causing trouble for my parents, but my parents asked me to concentrate on studying and don't worry about that much.
"You don't need to prove yourself now. When you grow up and have the ability, the teacher will naturally look down on you. "
The month when the middle school entrance examination was approaching, they sent me messages every day. These words were very precious and gave me enough courage to face reality.
Finally, I successfully got into high school.
After leaving school, my depression never recurred. Perhaps it was because I had a clear understanding in my heart: "No matter how bad my life is, my parents will never give up on me. "
Thinking of this, even if the current situation is in dire straits, I feel extremely safe.
Picture source: Movie "Yesterday"
Depressed child 3:
My father kicked me into the abyss and lit up another beam of light
Boy, living in the county town, the relationship between father and son is bad, and he is transferred to junior high school Duan diagnosed mild depression.
When I was a child, I was hung on a tree by my father because I was disobedient. Since then, I have not dared to look at him directly.
In the fifth grade of elementary school, the psychologist at the school felt that I was a little depressed. My mother secretly accompanied me to the mental health center for treatment, confirmed and got medicine.
Didn't know about all this. My state is very unstable and sometimes I feel listless. My father thinks I am not masculinity and kicked me to the ground.
Later, I am afraid that there is any injury on my body and is pointed at by others, so I changed it to lift my ears.
html l0 I covered up my depression and took medicine secretly; while continuing to study and maintain the upper-middle school level. It is really not easy for a 12-year-old child.
But I am too afraid of my father, and I dare not immature.
Picture source: movie "Summer in the West River"
Before the junior high school entrance examination, my father might have noticed that I was under a lot of pressure and did not hit me again. I mustered up my life's courage to ask him: Can I keep a pet?
My father said: Raise a hammer and raise you. It's enough to spend money!
Three days later, he brought back a puppy. I was so happy that I named the puppy Xiaobao.
The news that my dog was soon spread. Children nearby came to tease him from time to time. Some tall children would pinch it on purpose, and Xiaobao screamed in pain.
I was so angry that I was trembling, but I didn't dare to provoke them. When my father heard this, he would always raise his hands and run out, kicking one person, so that they didn't dare to come back.
That scene made me realize that my father was not a pure bastard. He didn't know how to be gentle, but his strength was beyond doubt.
But, I probably won’t be a person like him in my life. I will use another way to not hurt others and become stronger.
When I was admitted to middle school, I stopped antidepressants and wanted to concentrate on my studies. In the future, I bought a house in the city and took my mother out and stayed away from the harsh environment.
But my mother told me: "He always praises your strengths, and you should also look at his goodness."
I suspect that she is talking about herself. My mother is just a person who only reads good but not bad, but I listened to it.
He is not a good father, but he brought Xiaobao to me. Xiaobao is my spiritual pillar, and he protects it, just like protecting another me.
This makes me feel: Father is not only the source of my depression, but also gives me strength and teaches me how to face suffering.
Image source: movie "Summer of the West River"
There is a psychological phenomenon called "Psychological prosperity after depression" .
means that after the depression is cured, some children will be mentally healthier than ordinary children.
They had profound thoughts during the most difficult period, felt the strong love, and felt their parents' unconditional support for themselves.
These children who have experienced lows will grow up smarter, more transparent and more powerful.
. Other children, unfortunately encountered setbacks and stimulation, did not provide support, but instead accused them of "whining without any illness".
In the future, it will be difficult for them to get rid of the shadow of depression because they lack the most important thing to get out of depression: unconditional support and love.
psychologist Kohute said:
"If a child can continue to experience "love" throughout his life, he will have enough strength to deal with setbacks, because he believes that love will not leave him."
As parents, we cannot bear everything on behalf of our children, but we can try our best to provide support, understanding and respect in ways that children can accept.
Just like in three stories, three parents did: a look behind the dormitory building, a tutoring for staying up late to prepare lessons, and a satisfaction of raising pets...
seems trivial, but it is enough to light up the light in the child's heart when the most difficult time and support him through the most difficult time.
Even if you can't do what parents in the story, you can also take these out:
A pair of hands that openly hug when the child is lost;
A pair of eyes that are tender and concerned when the child is sad;
A pair of ears that listen carefully when the child is confiding...
Just like Fan Deng said:
"The most effective way to change children is definitely not to threat, reward and punishment, but to accept it from the bottom of your heart He, observe him, express love to him, and make him feel that you care about him very much, and he will really be willing to change it.
If you love your child completely, the child will also change completely. This is the power of love. "
Picture source: movie "Honey Depression"
During the growth process, children may encounter many problems, or feel depressed, or have depression. Parents do not need to rush to change their children, but provide support and understanding first.
Parental support will activate the child's strength and potential, allowing him to go through a long healing process and grow into a better person.
Growth may bring shadows, but unconditional love of parents is a good medicine and can heal any trauma of children. Your love for your child will push him toward the light.
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