Perseverance is the number one soft skill, which distinguishes proactive children from prone children who are prone to give up. In fact, research supports it to predict success more than IQ.
children with perseverance will not give up in the face of setbacks. They believe their efforts will pay off, so even if any obstacles arise, they will keep working hard and finish the work they started.
The following are nine ways parents can help their children build perseverance:
The first step is to fight against the four factors that destroy perseverance.
Fatigue: Protect children's attention by adhering to regular sleep habits. Turn off the device one hour before bedtime and place the screen outside the bedroom at night.
Anxiety: The stress of success can cause overwhelming feelings. Showing your love to your children doesn’t depend on their success.
is based only on the identity of rapid achievement: instilling a growth mindset and letting your child understand that success is not static. Praise their efforts, not their results.
Learning expectations that do not match abilities: Set expectations to slightly higher than the child's skill level. Too high expectations can lead to anxiety, while too low expectations can lead to boredom.
2. Teach errors are opportunities to grow
Remind your child that errors can be a good thing even if the situation doesn't happen as they expected. Accept their error and tell them: "It doesn't matter if you mess it up. The important thing is that you tried it."
also admits its mistakes. This will help them realize that everyone makes mistakes and that success will happen when you don’t let setbacks define you.
3. "Blocking" Task
teaches your children to divide big tasks into smaller, easier to manage chunks, which will help them to have more confidence in completing tasks over time.
For example, if they are frustrated with a math worksheet, let them take a separate piece of paper covering all math problems except the first row. Then continue lowering the paper to the next line as they finish each one.
Or, if they are overwhelmed by a lot of homework, they can write down each assignment on a post-it notes, stack by difficulty, and complete one task at a time.
4. Celebrate a small victory
Repeated failure will destroy perseverance, but the smallest success can encourage children to continue moving forward, so help them determine their small victory.
For example: "Last time, you spelled six words correctly. Today you have eight! It's a gain. Your progress is because of your efforts!"
5. Expand their attention
If your child wants to give up an assignment, put a timer on their desk and set it to the appropriate length of time to suit their attention range.
means they just need to stick with it until the ringtone rings. They can then take a quick break and reset the timer.
Encourage them to see how many questions they can complete before the ringtone rings so they can see that they succeed. Over time, focusing becomes easier.
6. Correct the "stumbling block"
When children give up, it may be because they can't see a way out of the challenge. First acknowledge their frustration and express that it is a normal feeling. Try doing breathing exercises or taking a break.
Then when they return to the task, see if you can help them find a small stumbling block that will keep them from moving forward.
For example: "It looks like you've confused the addition and multiplication symbols." Once the problem is clear, practice focusing on the stumbling block until they slowly overcome it.
7.Praise efforts
When children are praised for their intelligence (for example, "You are so smart!"), they are unlikely to stick with it.
But when they are praised for their efforts (e.g., "You worked hard for it! Well done."), they are more motivated and work harder.
In order to extend perseverance, praise children's efforts, not their grades or scores. The goal is to get them successful without extra motivation, which is why I don't like stickers and Venus. Research has found that surface reinforcements actually reduce children's perseverance.
8. Put forward the statement of "stay with it"
Negative self-talk like "I can't do it" or "I'm not smart enough" will destroy perseverance. When things get tough, help your child choose a short, positive statement to say to himself.
remind them to repeat this sentence a few times in a few days until they can remember to use it themselves: "Things don't have to be perfect. If I keep working hard, I will get better and better."
9. Step back and let them figure out
One of my most important parenting rules is: Never do things for your children what they can do on their own.
Every time you correct your child’s mistakes or do something for them, they will learn to rely on you more and more. Have the opportunity to develop perseverance.
Once you know your child can complete a task alone, take a step back. Let them embrace that sense of accomplishment.
For example: "It looks like you've confused the addition and multiplication symbols." Once the problem is clear, practice focusing on the stumbling block until they slowly overcome it.
7.Praise efforts
When children are praised for their intelligence (for example, "You are so smart!"), they are unlikely to stick with it.
But when they are praised for their efforts (e.g., "You worked hard for it! Well done."), they are more motivated and work harder.
In order to extend perseverance, praise children's efforts, not their grades or scores. The goal is to get them successful without extra motivation, which is why I don't like stickers and Venus. Research has found that surface reinforcements actually reduce children's perseverance.
8. Put forward the statement of "stay with it"
Negative self-talk like "I can't do it" or "I'm not smart enough" will destroy perseverance. When things get tough, help your child choose a short, positive statement to say to himself.
remind them to repeat this sentence a few times in a few days until they can remember to use it themselves: "Things don't have to be perfect. If I keep working hard, I will get better and better."
9. Step back and let them figure out
One of my most important parenting rules is: Never do things for your children what they can do on their own.
Every time you correct your child’s mistakes or do something for them, they will learn to rely on you more and more. Have the opportunity to develop perseverance.
Once you know your child can complete a task alone, take a step back. Let them embrace that sense of accomplishment.
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