What is positive attention?
Active attention is the way you show joy for your child and warmth for your relationship by:
Smile to your child
Make eye contact and use caring facial expressions
Show physical feelings – for example, hug your child
show physical feelings – for example, hug your child
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show interest in children's interests, activities and achievements
Why positive attention is important
From birth, children need experience and interpersonal relationships to prove that they are valuable and capable people who can bring happiness to others. The positive attention, response, and response of key adults helps children understand their value.
Over time, the positive, loving messages of you and other important people in your children's lives will build your child's self-image over time. A healthy self-image is very important, not only in the relationship between children and others, but also in the confidence of children in understanding the world.
Your child’s sense of security comes from positive interactions with you and other caregivers. If you smile at your child when he is watching you, or assure them when he is scared or uncertain, your child will feel safe and secure. This gives your child confidence as he explores his own world.
How to show positive attention
There are many ways to give children positive attention. Daily activities like changing diapers, supervising baths or walking to school can allow you to connect with your children in meaningful ways. For example, you can give positive attention by hugging and tickling your kids when they dry after bathing. Or, you can sit and hold your kids and watch TV together.
No matter how old your child is, you can do simple things every day to convey particularly important information about your child. For example:
looks at your child and smiles.
Show interest in what your child is doing- let your child tell you as much as possible.
When your child talks to you, please pay attention and listen carefully.
creates some special family rituals that can be shared together.
Free up time to be with your children and do what you love together.
When your child tries a new skill or makes efforts on something, praise them - for example, "This painting is really beautiful! Where do you learn to use such shadows?
There are some ways to show positive attention to children of different ages.
Newborns and babies
Active attention prompt
Even before babies can understand and use words, they will respond to your tone, gestures, facial expressions and body language.
Here are the ways to give your baby positive attention:
Smile when your baby smiles at you.
comforts the baby when they cry.
responds to the sounds made by the baby in response.
talks about what is happening around you two.
Note what the baby is interested in and encourages the baby to explore—for example, show the baby how to shake the colored rattle that attracts their eyes .
Toddler
Positive Attention Tips
As children age, they will learn more about what you say and how you say. Here are some tips for actively paying attention to this age group:
Entering that moment with your child. It may be as simple as squatting down and watching a caterpillar together.
When you are talking together, please allow time after the conversation so your child can answer.
When you are playing with your kids, comment on what your kids are doing instead of correcting them or trying to get them to do something different – like, ‘Wow, that’s a very tall tower! I wonder how many pieces there are before it falls.
Tell your kids what you like what they are doing. For example, "I like you to help pick up building blocks."
Preschool children
Positive attention prompt
When preschool children understand the world, you can give them positive attention in many ways. For example:
free up time to do children's favorite activities together - such as puzzles, Lego, painting, etc.
When greeting in the morning, remember to smile and make eye contact with the child—even take a moment to have a special hug.
Show your kids that you are happy to see them in a nursery or after pre-school. Tell your kids that you miss them, or give hugs and high-fives.
School-age children and prepuberty children
Skills to actively pay attention to
When children go to school, their world expands. But your enthusiasm and positive attention are still the biggest impact on your child’s development.
Try these ideas:
When your kids want to talk about school, stop what you are doing and listen. This may not always happen as soon as your child arrives home — possibly when your child is bathing or just before they go to bed.
Ask your child about a good thing that happens during the day.
Ask follow-up questions when your child starts talking. This keeps the conversation going.
Note and guide the positive interactions of the child with others—for example, “I think Hunter really likes you ask her questions about the holidays. This gives her the opportunity to talk about things that are important to her.”
If you need to provide constructive feedback while giving some positive information—for example, “Usually you are a good sharer. I can see that it’s hard, but think about how your friends feel when you don’t let their turn.
References:
References:
Bai, S., Repetti, R., Sperling, J. (2016). Children’s Expressions of positive emotions are sustained by smoking, touching, and playing with parents and siblings: An naturalistic observational study of family life. Developmental Psychology, 52(1), 88-101. doi: 10.1037/a0039854.
Kalenkoski, C., Foster, M. (2008). The quality of time spent with children in Australian households. Review of Economics of the Household, 6(3), 243-266. doi: 10.1007/s11150-008-9036-3.
Mullan, K., Higgins, D. (2014). A safe and supporting family environment for children: Key components and links to child outcomes. Canberra: Australian Government Department of Social Services. Retrieved 22 July 2020 from https://www.dss.gov.au/sites/default/files/documents/08_2014/op52_safe_families_final_accessible_pdf_6_8_14.pdf.
National Scientific Council on the Developing Child (2004). Young children develop in an environment of relationships. Working paper no. 1. Cambridge, MA: Centre on the Developing Child, Harvard University. Retrieved 22 July 2020 from http://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/wp1/.
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