Many parents left messages asking: What should I do if my children already tend to be pleasing to their personality? Today, I will answer this question for parents.

Many parents left messages asking: What should I do if my children already tend to be pleasing?

Today, I will answer this question for parents.

In the last article, we mentioned several educational models that easily lead to flattering personality:

. Parents not only do not praise their children, but also often deny them

2. Parents overly require their children to be sensible and obedient, and ignore their feelings

3. Parents rarely accompany their children, and often make them feel lonely

4. Parents have too high requirements for their children and are always dissatisfied with them

. These four models have one thing in common, that is, they do not consider their children's needs.

When the child’s needs are always ignored by parents or the outside world, will try his best to "take it yourself".

However, the child's world is very simple and he will not use any means to get what he wants. He can only play the role of a good child and gain the attention of people around him in a "pleasant way".

Therefore, in the process of educating children, parents should try to avoid the above patterns.

In fact, to avoid children becoming "pleasant personality", then you should pay attention to cultivating children's self-confidence and self-love.

First, always encourage children to understand that people are not perfect, so don’t care about other people’s evaluations.

Pussy children usually care very much about other people's evaluations.

Famous writer Jiang Fangzhou was once troubled by the "pleasant personality". She always couldn't express her true needs in her heart, nor did she dare to reject other people's needs, just because she cared about her evaluations in other people's mouths.

However, we all know that ten people have ten evaluations, and we cannot meet everyone's requirements.

Moreover, perfection does not exist at all, so it is normal to have shortcomings.

Parents can accompany their children to read some related picture books or the deeds of celebrities, and tell their children that even very outstanding people have shortcomings and will make mistakes.

So, accepting yourself is more important than pursuing a perfect yourself.

Second, please don’t get rewards for pleasing others, but loving yourself can bring more happiness.

Many children often confuse the concept of being helpful and pleasing to others, so they often "pay excessively" with the people around them.

For example, a parent told me before that her child was in elementary school this year and especially liked to help other students.

But this help makes parents feel a little overdoing. Children often use their pocket money to buy snacks such as ice cream and chocolate for their classmates.

Sometimes, even if the child doesn’t eat breakfast, he still has to bring delicious food to his classmates.

I told this parent not to let their children regard excessive efforts as being helpful. There must be a bottom line for helping others. If they exceed their abilities, they will definitely feel uncomfortable.

So, instead of giving to others, it is better to love yourself well.

In fact, if you want to improve your "pleasant personality", the most important thing is to let your children learn to say "no".

Parents can tell their children like this:

"When other children ask you for help, if you can't help, don't show off, learn to say no;

When others ask you to do things you don't want to do, you must bravely say no;

If someone says you are not a good child, you can say no in your heart, because no one is perfect;

When you are in a bad mood, if others or even parents criticize you, don’t accept it, say no, because negative emotions are like little monsters, "no" is the weapon to kill it."

In fact, it is not difficult to change children with flattery personality. Parents only need to pay attention to the methods and methods of education in life.

If the child has already shown flattery behavior, then parents need to tell him what the harm of doing this is.

Pleasant children are nothing more than wanting to be recognized by everyone around them. Then parents tactfully tell their children that it is not important to get recognition from others, but to accept themselves is the most important!