Text/Lan Ma talks about parenting
especially like this passage:
No matter how well you dress, others just look at you more
If you read beautifully, others will look up to you for life
The advantages of parents, that is your background
The advantages of education, which is your prospect
No matter how glamorous the child looks, it is just a momentum
If you have successful studies, you can be a good person for the rest of your life
…
On the weekend, I met a special mother, Xiao J. When the two of them were talking, they found that she was a particularly tangled mother. As a new generation of parents born in the 1990s, she was very clear about her life plan and had a sense of purpose, but when she encountered problems with the child's cultivation, she started to panic.
Xiao J told me that when she was a child, she had no childhood at all. There was only one thing in her impression, that is, "If you don't study, there will be no way out." Her parents always talked about every day, "Look at all, everyone has been admitted to Tsinghua University and Peking University, how many college entrance examination students have been admitted to a university this year? If you don't work hard and can't get into a good university, how should you live in the future?"
It is precisely because of this childhood experience that Xiao J has never wanted her daughter to have a happy childhood like herself. However, when she saw that the children of her friends and relatives were working hard on to teach and learn skills on , Xiao J began to slowly shake . After all, if other children are particularly excellent, it is easy to have a sense of gap. Not to mention what parents expect from their children, the children themselves will feel inferior and introverted because of the sense of gap .
Since childhood J's worries and words, I know that she doesn't want her daughter to repeat the same mistakes and become a learning repeater that "only study, no happiness". But if other children are learning and their children are playing, isn't this losing at the "starting line"? So I hope that the child has a happy childhood, but the problem is that "the child cannot lose at the starting line."
What is the real starting line education?
Who should I choose "Happy Childhood" and "Starting Line"? In fact, in my opinion, the reason why most parents are confused about and is because they have not realized what the real starting line is. What is the original intention of our children to win at the starting line from the beginning? As the saying goes, parents' vision determines the child's growth height .
is obvious. If you value your child’s credit scores, then your child’s childhood will only have credit scores. If you only have the hard work of learning in your eyes, then your child’s childhood will have more concerns and directional guidance. I think that the starting line education of a child is not how good the learning is, nor how strong the family background is. There is nothing more influence than the two people of "parents".
Speaking of children's starting line education, this reminds me of the Indian movie "Starting Line". This is an example of a pair of Indian middle-class parents who interpret "not let their children lose at the starting line". In order for their children to enter key schools, parents have been working hard on to make their children win at the starting line at the beginning.
The whole movie seems to be a mockery of the existing starting line education in India in the midst of the fun of and . The movie ultimately did not realize its wishes. Fortunately, it also returned with the human truth, goodness and beauty , showing what the real starting line is. Compared with the persistence of many parents in the new generation of parents to the "starting line", the "starting line" movie hits the pain point.
's "starting line education" has been rumored to have cheated on
There is a friend who is a single mother. Her hard work along the way has made this mother particularly persistent in starting line education from the beginning. In her opinion, it is a responsibility and a belief to prevent her children from losing to starting line . In order to make her daughter win at the starting line since childhood, the little girl, who is only seven years old, has a schedule of densely packed . More than a dozen interest classes have become " fully armed " that wins at the starting line every day.
Friends who start from scratch obviously do not look like the dramatic methods in the movie "Starting Line". The educational pattern shown is more inclined to a single winning or losing level. In order to send his daughter to key schools to study, the friend tried all the ways he could think of, including "going back door" with his relationship, borrowing money to buy a school district house, and constantly arranging tutoring classes and tutoring subjects. He was helpless. In the meantime, you can pretend to be pitiful and poor...
seems to be the absurdity of and 's behavior. In fact, it reflects the various problems of cognition of " wrong starting line ". There may be unfair education in the overall environment, or perhaps family background has caused differences in the starting line of children, but we should not forget, what is the ultimate goal of hoping that children will win at the starting line? As long as this problem is figured out, the starting line awareness will also need to be improved.
Under the influence of the urgent educational model of friends, her daughter has never played with peace of mind and pains for a day since kindergarten. Every weekend and every day, it is like a lock of a door lock to study and listen to classes and tutoring. When she saw the girl being surrounded by the interest class and obedient, the deep gaze revealed in her eyes always makes people feel moved and feel very distressed.
"Crazy" start line education has harmed many children. Just a few days ago, my friend's daughter's young life was always frozen in the cold river. Because the daily learning task volume is too heavy, and my friend's "tiger mom" kept chatting about behind her. Finally, during a mother-daughter quarrel, my daughter could not bear running away from home . Perhaps affected by the strong rainfall in those days, the girl fell into the water and was discovered until the next morning.
When a friend received this message, he fainted from excitement, but the matter had happened. No matter how sad it was, was useless. A single mother worked hard and finally pulled her daughter to grow up. Now, she is oppressed and unable to breathe because of her constant study and tutoring every day, and eventually lost her precious life. Is this really worth it?
is obvious. The crazy "starting line education" is unhealthy and requires parents to reflect the most. Does it mean that we have a lot of effort to want our children to win at the starting line, which is to hope that their children will quarrel with us every day, and they are so rebellious in adolescence that they refuse to even return home, and even lose their precious and lively life due to severe depression?
Parents are the key figures for children to win at the starting line
If you ask what the standard configuration of a child is, I think: school uniforms are the standard configuration of a child, and education is the high configuration of a child!
Since ancient times, "it is naturally elegant with poetry and books". Education will never be defeated by appearance, nor will it be defeated by gorgeous clothes. We all hope that children can do " deaf ears and only read sage books " every day. However, judging from the trend of contemporary education reform, it is far from enough to have this kind of hard-working . If you lack comprehensive learning literacy, even if you are well-read, you may be useless.
Once again borrowed the movie "Starting Line" to present educational problems. As the protagonist gave up the first-class university degree obtained by deception, the starting line also made a powerful voice. Things obtained by improper methods are unrealistic and will eventually affect the children's lives. Those first-class universities that people pursue may not necessarily educate first-class children. The return of human nature truth, goodness, and beauty is to truly win at the starting line.
What is the real starting line? I think parents are the key figures in children's winning on the starting line . In the growth of children and the education of parents, 90% of parents hope that their children will become 10% of the same age. In fact, it is impossible to violate the objective laws of and . If contemporary parents did not abandon this concept of earlier, it would be difficult to truly accept their children.
As we say now, "You can't let your child lose at the starting line." In fact, parents are the real starting line for your child. If it is imposed on your child, it is a kind of pressure from physical and mentality, and it is also a kind of fear from childhood.
Do not impose things that parents have not done on their children. If parents think that "the children should do what I have not done", this kind of is natural for 's "for your own good". In fact, we, as adults, also hate this sentence, which also covers up a lot of things.
Just like when we say this, we always feel that " is for you" is the right thing, so we usually have more for whatever we want . No matter whether our direction is right or wrong, our efforts are bad or good. Anyway, the starting point is for the good of the children. Under this single limited psychological control, we always feel that it is appropriate to discipline children, and it is also appropriate to control children.
In fact, the real starting line education should not be how fast the child runs or how high he stands. The most important view of every parent is: if a child has a child’s life, we can provide you with our opinions as suggestions, but the ultimate life you want to go through is to rely on your children to choose, and to step by step to get out of experience and make life wonderful. All parents can give is support and protection for their children!
Every child is an independent individual of life since birth. They are not born to achieve, honor, or achieve goals that parents have not achieved!
No matter at all times, please remember these words:
•Don’t treat children as tools, you should treat them as an independent person
•Don’t control children in the name of fatherly love and motherly love, let alone manipulate children as a teacher, make decisions for children
•The most basic awe for minor children, if you respect them, they will respect you
•As long as we are our children, we should accept their true colors and try to discover that everything will be better.
• The real starting line for children is the parents themselves. The family atmosphere is the first life moral course for children.
• The children who teach are not necessarily professors, and the children of scientists are not necessarily scientists. However, families with ideals and educated must be able to cultivate children with enthusiasm for learning and educated
• Teaching The essence of nurturing is to use one hand to push the other hand, and use one soul to push the other soul. Instead of letting children learn knowledge and abide by the rules every day, it is better for parents to set a good example for themselves first
•There is no "big numbers can't be done, practice small numbers", both children are the same starting line, and use love to awaken them
Education of children is a slow motion, rhythmic bidirectional To grow up, this education not only requires to shake and promote , but also needs to awaken the child's desire for knowledge. The best family education for children is to use your own thinking method, attitude and personal charm to infect your children. Parents' correct views on can make their children's growth path more solid and powerful !
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-