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span 13span At a party, I met Kai Kai’s mother. She is well educated, smiles with just the right temperature, and speaks clearly. She seems to be a parent who is comfortable with her own life and the education of her children. This is obviously in the same state as the parents of Star Kids I often meet. The difference.
Most Autism Parents of children are often very anxious before their children are 14 years old, with the message of "Help me", or traces of fragility at a loss. Such performance is more common before the age of 7. The calmness of Ke Kaikai's mother is very impressive.
Out of curiosity, I chatted with Kaikai’s mother. When I mentioned her unusual calmness, she laughed unexpectedly, but what she said was very bitter: "When your child loses twice a month on average, you will soon lie flat like me. Live whatever you want." I was very surprised.
In the United States, the number of reported cases of loss of individuals with autism is about 28 million each year, and there are enough cases in which the same child is repeatedly lost. How common the situation is. In China, there is no official statistics on the report of missing individuals with autism, but considering the large number of individuals with autism, we can infer that in China, 28 million should be just a base.
"Sometimes in the supermarket, he can disappear by turning his head. I tied a rope to his hand and hung it on the waist of his trousers. He can also run away without you knowing it. Traces. RT-Mart near our home. I can find the service desk with my eyes closed.” Every time, Kaikai’s mother would go to the service desk to describe the child’s situation and broadcast the whole audience to distribute the work in the store. The staff saw it delivered to the service desk. Every time, she has to face the strange eyes of others and repeatedly explain the child's autism spectrum disorder .
She laughed at herself and said: "You can't take it easy if you are like this for a few years."
Even if I always respond to others, I can't think of any suitable words for a while. .
A parent who heard our conversation also leaned in and talked about the lost memories of her child. Perhaps because of similar experiences, the two mothers quickly talked about the painful experience when the child lost.
First of all, it was extreme panic.
For a moment, it was really just panic, panic that can't remember anything. I can only cry, cry and run around by instinct.Kai Kai’s mother mentioned that Kai Kai was 3 years and 3 months old when she lost her for the first time. At that time, he could only speak single words, and he just glanced at people. Except for recognizing his mother, everyone else was the same in his eyes. It is enough to imagine how flustered and anxious his parents were when Kaikai went home with his family for the New Year but was lost in the village for the first time.
Then, there are all kinds of terrible conjectures.
Kaikai's father comes from a small county in Nanchang, with mountains and rivers. Kaikai's mother said: "It's really not a joke. There have been dozens of accidents in my mind." Lost in the mountains, drowning in the river, being trafficked, high-speed accidents and so on. When a child gets lost from his side, all the worst possible conjectures are accompanied by panic. At that time, Kaikai’s mother and several villagers in the county walked for nearly 12 kilometers, and even walked along the highway outside the village for a long time.
"The most comforting thing was not seeing any blood."
"I didn't see any blood."
crying and swollen eyes behind Kai Kai, who was retrieved, her mother is weak. When she was limp on the ground, she was still afraid of the child leaving again, she only knew how to hold him tightly, and even collapsed to the ground with him, only how to cry.
This is the joy of the aftermath.In the news reports, those parents who failed to find their children in the end are crying all day long, which is extremely sad.
"Kaikai, this is not bad. Now I bought the most expensive GPS device tied to his ankle, and I can find it anyway. I don’t shed tears much."
I sat aside and listened, and it was quite sour. Kaikai’s mother mentioned that when she returned to her hometown for the New Year this year, apart from playing hide-and-seek with the neighbor’s children, she was too crazy and put herself in the stove and almost got fired.
Actually, although there are parts that children cannot control themselves, there are also areas that parents can improve. But it seemed that nothing was appropriate on such occasions, and I could only comfortably hug the two parents. I have written down these suggestions now, and I hope that parents will be able to make all kinds of preparations.
1. Understand the reason why the child runs away
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13 The performance is also completely different. For example, does the child run away purposefully or just wander aimlessly? Is it a random type who just walks wherever you encounter it and depends on your mood, or is it a type that suddenly runs away and catches you off guard? When going out, does love follow the good smell, or is afraid to avoid the noisy sound?
If you notice these different performances,Then you can conduct specialized training for these performances. Overcome sensory interference, or lack of skills. When training, you must stay calm and peaceful, and don't make your child feel anxious in the process. Some scenes can be simulated to help children learn how to encounter these scenes.
This is a part of Kaikai’s mother talking about Kaikai’s experience that has not been mentioned from beginning to end. Therefore, I have no way of knowing whether the Kaikai family has done homework for this part.
Considering the loss of Kaikai twice a month afterwards, it is very likely that the reason why Kaikai is easily separated from his family has not yet been found. If the root cause is found, many things can be adjusted, but three years have passed, and the mother often turns around and looks back, and the child cannot be found.
2. Learn how to "stay together"
_p4sp13 span Some core issues "make a small focus". For example, sensory integration is chaotic, then a systematic sensory integration training adjustment is needed; it is the problem of lack of skills, so provide skills training for children. This includes the training of "staying together". When the child knows that he needs to stay with you, the chance of the child getting lost will be greatly reduced. Here are some trainings to help teach your children to stay with you.
Make a "stay together" plan before leaving home,And review it every time before leaving home, so that the child can strengthen this concept of safety; play a game with the child, during the game you keep changing directions, let the child follow you closely, stick like glue You, like an eagle catching a chick; use a "stay together" safety sign, or create a fixed sign that children are familiar with, and practice using this sign where there may be things that may tempt children to leave you, such as a store or a farmer’s market. .
"Come to mom." If the child does it right away, you give him a small reward. Such exercises will let children understand the benefits of being with you, and will also help prevent loss.
In addition to the above-mentioned methods, well-intentioned parents have also found the following methods for their children to stay with themselves.
"At night, I wrap a glowing light stick around my child's neck so that I can see him. I also wrap one around my neck so that the child can also See me."
"When I take my child to the store, I use a very humble hand strap to tie him to my side, although it looks a bit ugly."
"I agreed with my child in advance the boundaries: room, home, yard, block, community, etc. When my child runs on the sidewalk in one direction, I spend a lot of time teaching him when to stop 'Or'turn around'."
3. Learn how to "wait"
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13 ,Children have very little patience for "waiting". Let your child remember to wait. This can prevent your child from suddenly leaving a place when you are briefly distracted, such as when you turn around to pick up goods, or check out your wallet, or greet your acquaintances in the park.
The red ribbon on the door or on the floor; the big stop or wait sign stuck on the door; the stop or wait sign stuck in the palm of the hand. Frequent use of these signs in life can help children quickly understand the need to wait or stop, and effectively inform children that what they need to do is "wait." Children who are occupied by tasks like tend to reduce distractions.
By understanding your own children, you can develop these feasible solutions, because these solutions will be used repeatedly in life. For example, the following parents:
One parent said, “Our son likes tape very much. We finally realized that he seemed to regard red tape as a stop sign. Therefore, we used red tape on the aisle. If it is a line, he will not cross this red line." Some parents put their children's shoes away because they are unwilling to leave without shoes, so they can also prevent accidental loss.
Some parents use special vocabulary, such as the word "safe place". In the beginning, "safe place" meant waiting at the door before leaving home. Later, the ‘safe point’ may be used in various places. For example, when shopping in a supermarket, the “safe place” is the trolley area at the entrance of the supermarket. In a water park, the “safe place” becomes the railing or handrail by the pool.
so that once the child leaves the parent,At least he knows that there is such a place to go, and parents are more likely to find their children in this place.
4. Give children a tracking device
At present, we can easily purchase products suitable for children's location tracking through many online shopping platforms. They not only provide the most basic location services, but some also add other functions, including forced calls and automatic alarms. Wait. All of these can help you locate the child in the first place.
This type of tracking device will be worn on the child’s wrist or ankle to locate the child. What you need to do is to get your children accustomed to wearing such a device as much as possible, not to be bothered by it, and not to try to remove the device from the body at all times.
Just like Kaikai’s mother bought a GPS locator and strapped it to Kaikai’s ankle, so that he can quickly and quickly find his location, which is relatively easy.
lost children not only happen when they go out,Including travel, visiting relatives and friends, etc. at home, an unlocked door, an unclosed window, or even a confiscated key may make the child disappear from your sight in an instant. Therefore, instead of experiencing such panic, parents should prepare well in advance and lay the foundation for their children's social integration in the future.
May every star mother shed less tears and be more calm.
Picture source: Photograph.com Genuine Gallery
Responsible editor: Mijianxing editor
Article layout: Mijian Carotene
Article source: Mijianp Aspie _p4448.
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