Yesterday at noon, I went to the restaurant downstairs to have a meal. There was an empty seat next to the mother and son, so I sat down and put the table together.
Mom was eating. A boy of about 4 years old, holding a toy car in his hand, drove over the table excitedly, bumping into the cups and dishes from time to time, and almost bumped into it with his hand. On my arm.
Mom saw it and quickly reminded: Baby, don’t play racing, you’re going to bump into your sister, eat first?
The little boy did not stop, but he refused: I will be careful, I am not hungry!
Mother didn't give up, she continued to urge: hurry up and eat, the dishes will be cold after the meeting!
The little boy looked like "What? I have a bad signal here", as if blocking his mother and playing with cars.
So my mother raised her tone: XXX (name)! 3! --2! ——
At this moment, the little boy was a little panicked and tried to put the car aside. He accidentally knocked over the cup on the table and the hot tea poured out and burned his hands. The cup also fell to the ground with a "bang".
Mom stood up, checking the little boy's hand, while shouting: I told you not to play, but you don't listen, it's hot now! It's like this every time! ...Are you trying to piss me off?
Is this scene a bit familiar?
This kind of drama may be staged every day in the daily life with a baby in a place.
Aunts and dads are walking at the "critical value" every day,Suppressing anger and patiently persuaded, but even so, that naughty baby of my own madness is still frantically testing on the edge of your hair.
You want him to clean up the toys, but you urge him a hundred times, but you still step on the thorn of a certain plastic dinosaur when you lift your foot;
, Finally got off the coffee table, you turned around and people have already climbed up to the dining table...
How to play the maximum energy value of the painstaking advice,
allows old fathers and old mothers to take a lore.
Don’t need to soak the wolfberry,
Soothes the breath to vomit blood, and angers to the withered heart?
First of all, needs to know why he refuses to listen
the speed of the world
0 Mom said: Hurry up and pack your toys! What does the mess look like?
The child may get to pick up the toys, but you didn't say how quickly "hurry up and pick up" is going to be, can't you pick it up before going to bed at night? What is the criterion for "clean up"? He may think that by picking up two small blocks is to complete the task...
We are always accustomed to the fast communication method of adults, think this is a very simple thing, he will definitely be able to understand and understand. But in fact, there may be a wall between you...
He has his own ideas,You are not interested in what you said
The child is not a robot, he has his own thoughts and ideas. His "disobedience" is just that he selectively didn't listen to you.
Just like the mother and son I saw yesterday:
Mom’s idea is: You have to eat first, and then play with toys after eating!
The child's idea is: The toy is so fun, I want to play for a while, anyway, I am not very hungry now, why rush to eat?
People will seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. In the fun racing VS ordinary eating room, of course, choose the former. Moreover, in this case, the following point is usually included in the package.
He underestimated the "consequences" of his actions
The little boy, he did not think that playing at the table might break things, might spill hot water and burn his hands, or hit innocent people. The people who eat melon, oh no, the people who eat are me...
His world, at that moment, is like the appearance of the hero of an idol drama, the toy car comes with a protagonist halo, how can you see the food!
It's too difficult. It's harder to understand children than to understand customers.
Moreover, we found weakly that we have to output our powerful roar to become a child's curse.
But if there are too many roars, the child may turn around and still have a hippie smile. Only us are hurt...I really want the child to be "injured", and I am afraid that it will leave a psychological shadow by accident.
how to say, Can children listen?
refine the command, output it in a way he can understand
For example, "hurry up and brush your teeth"-
This will avoid the embarrassment of exploding yourself for 100 times within 5 minutes. .
Pack it up, boring commands can also become interesting challenges
Since he has no motivation to execute your commands, then let’s do some routines. According to the children’s hobbies and joy, let He found interest in execution.
Want him to clean up his toys?
Mom's foot was just stabbed by a dinosaur on the ground. It hurts! Is there any super-powerful knight who can help me put all the toys on the floor into the toy cabinet?
It would be perfect if it can be collected before lunch! I will give out a super nice dinosaur sticker in a limited amount!
If you don’t hit the south wall and don’t look back, then simulate “hit” down
Arrange the bottom line and principles with your child, such as not hurting yourself and not affecting others. Others, give your child a chance to make the decision by himself, for example, if you want him to wear a blue coat,People want a white coat, so why not?
What if this thing violates your bottom line?
Try to take the circuitous route and retreat. If he wants to hit the south wall, simulate it...
Want to climb? You can search for pictures or videos of wrestling caused by climbing high from the Internet and show them to your children, and describe how they will fall if they climb high and accidentally fail to stand firmly; they want to get hot water? Then touch it lightly with your little finger to feel the heat.
SO, if we want children to be obedient, we have to speak well first. As long as you speak cleverly and speak to the heart of the child, you may be able to hit it with a single hit.
Otherwise, the roar is too strong, and the internal injury is not enough. In case the baby cries, we have to comfort him.
Life-saving is important, life-saving is important...
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