people often say ", strict father and loving mother ". With the development of the times, they have gradually become "tiger mother cat dad ".
Especially tiger mothers are suffocating existences.
They tend to be tough, and let the children do what they have to do;
They also usually like "infusion education", telling children what to do and what not to do.
Can a strong instillation education, must be wrong?
"Upward Boy" has a "tiger mother" whose daughter is Zhao Xuanying. She seems gentle but tough, and has a unique position in the family.
"Go Up Boy" is a program focused on family education. Each program will invite two groups of families to the show.
Parents and members of the support team observe the children in the observation room for five levels of life ability challenges, so as to exchange questions about their children's education.
Each group of families who came to the show can more or less resonate with the audience in the way of education. For example, Zhao Xuanying's mother upholds the "indoctrination-style hard sex education", which is the usual way of education for many parents.
After seeing the "indoctrination and toughness" two words,Many people think that this kind of education method is wrong and will make children weak and unhappy.
But Zhao Xuanying's mother showed a different kind of "indoctrination" and "toughness" through the program. On this point, Tian Yulan in "Little Willingness" should learn from her.
1. Indoctrination
The so-called indoctrination is to inculcate the parents' ideas and opinions into the children, and let the children follow their parents’ wishes, choose what they like and hate, and become what their parents say Good boy.
Tian Yulan in "Little Willingness" told her son that only learning well is important, and everything else is not what you should do at your age. Then I took care of myself to get a place in the cram school for my son;
even forced the teacher to resign because two big questions were not done right.
However, Zhao Xuanying's mother used actions to tell everyone that "indoctrination does not mean compulsion".
When she instills her opinions, she will tell the child "why did she say this, why she is required to do this, and what impact will it have after doing so".
For example, when children are generally picky eaters, Zhao Xuanying’s mother will explain to her children “why do you want to eat food you don’t like” instead of using “yes” in general. Good health" to summarize.
Don’t like vegetables? Eat vegetables, the skin will become fair.
When Zhao Xuanying knows that vegetables have such a function, she often takes the initiative to accept vegetables to get rid of the problem of picky eaters.
Tian Yulan requires his son to have good grades, but only says "Mom, this is for your good." As everyone knows, the sentence "for your good" has indirectly damaged the hearts of many children.
If he spends more time talking and tells him that learning mathematics can help him play football better in the future, he can be as cool as the famous coach Heathfield, and use mathematical thinking to solve the problem. In this way, the son will not only blame her, but will even be grateful to her.
2. Toughness
The so-called toughness is to tell the child what is wrong, what is right, what can be done, what is resolutely not to be done, and what the child must be tough The goal.
Why is Tian Yulan suffocating? It was because she always forced her son to get the trophies of several prizes, how many candidates to test, and even forced him to be elected as the monitor. Raising snails and playing football are all forbidden.
Any details, as long as it is not about learning, can't touch them. And she hopes that her son will have good grades, so that she can have a more face to have the right to speak between her husband's family and her natal family.
But Zhao Xuanying's mother let everyone know that being tough does not mean being tough, being tough can also be a way of encouragement.
Her toughness is inclusive and tough . This point is also worth learning from Tian Yulan.
In a certain part of the game, Zhao Xuanying faced a hairy animal she was afraid of. Although she was timid,But in order to complete the task courageously. Although the results were not satisfactory, her performance was enough to be praised.
Seeing her daughter behave in this way, the tough mother becomes soft and feels that her daughter has broken through herself. She should applaud her and encourage her to do better in the future.
On the other hand, Tian Yulan, when she heard her son criticize herself on stage, although she was sad, she still would not consider why her son would do this. How much courage did it take to do this? Strong1strong is instead. Blame your son for not understanding yourself, and even kidnap your son morally between the lines in the words -for your mother, you must work hard.
There are tens of millions of parents in the world, and it may not necessarily be that there will be parents who can teach their children how well they can teach their children, but it is the most important thing to learn to find another way under the common education method. The so-called Chinese-style parents see other people's persecution of their children, and they also persecute their children so much. They don't know that every child should have an education method to cope with it.
Children who go to elementary school have poor self-control and have to use indoctrination and tough education methods. If you don't care about your children, being tough on your own will only be counterproductive; on the contrary, if you are based on caring for your children, you will get twice the result with half the effort.
Therefore, Tian Yulan's method of educating her son is not wrong, but the way of speaking is wrong and the angle of concern is wrong, which finally makes her son on the verge of collapse.
I am @ few spoons of watermelon Follow me to learn more.
"Be gentle, dad, don't hit me often", you think the education classics, the child may be resisting
.-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-