Hello, I am Keppel's mother, click "Follow" in the upper right, and share with you every day [ Reading|Writing Dirty Instructions] [Growth Thoughts] , occasionally tell me [Story] .
woke up from a nap. I was reading a book in the small study room and heard the "thump" sound outside the door. Then the empty door was pushed open. Erbao leaned into his round little head. When he saw me, he smiled and climbed to me as fast as possible, stretched out his hand and wanted to hug him.
I picked her up and sat on my knees. Her chubby little hands began to restlessly, making my book messy, and always wanted to break free from my hand and climb onto the desk to play with her favorite pens and small ornaments. I closed the book helplessly and took her to the living room to play.
Although I knew long ago that I would have two children, preferably my brother and sister, God seemed to understand my wish and let me get what I wanted within four years, but I didn’t seem to be ready to be a mother of two children.
Everyone says that parents are the first teachers of their children, and I am undoubtedly surprised by this. But at the same time, parents are also students, they also need to learn and grow. Today I want to share with you the abilities that an excellent mother needs to develop.
1 Emotional control ability
In the eyes of husbands and children, the most moody creature in the world is probably "mother".
All mothers who have done homework with their children know that this should be the most exhausting thing in the world, no doubt. If an electrocardiogram instrument is installed on my mother at this time, the curve will definitely be an unexplainable phenomenon in the medical community.
Most mothers start with patience, and end with anger, leaving behind a confused child. Most children with excellent grades have an emotionally stable "Buddhist mother".
Have good emotions management ability, which not only makes you feel like a fish in the parent-child relationship, but also makes your mind peaceful and peaceful, live in harmony with the surrounding environment, and get greater help from it.
2 Money-making ability
A book I read some time ago "Mom Who Makes Money". The author of the book is an American mother. When she was pregnant with her first child, she had severe morning sickness and had to quit her job and went home. She found a job as a mother's assistant (helping people who work at home to take care of her children).
Starting from this job, she gradually accumulated her mothers’ work experience and began to pay attention to the work situation of all full-time mothers.
As a person who teaches mothers to make money, the author shares how everyone should find the job that suits them best through self-analysis and market analysis? Let mothers make money and realize their life mission.
How should stay-at-home mothers find a job? How to correct your attitude towards finding a job? How to do a good job and develop it into your own career? And how do you view work? All the stories are told in the book.
The author has always advocated that no matter what job full-time mothers choose to do, they must regard it as their career and mission and continue to do it for a long time. "Even if you keep moving forward at the speed of a snail."
This book has given me a lot of inspiration and gave me a new understanding of making money from work. The money that mothers earn should be loved by their hearts and can persist for a long time.
3 abilities to show weakness
There is a common phenomenon. Children brought up by mothers are relatively dependent, while children brought up by fathers are the opposite. I think the reason is that my mother is too diligent and always takes care of her. My father always wants to be lazy.
At this time, mothers should follow the lazy father, and only by letting go can you become independent and strong children.
During this period, Keppel began to practice simple arithmetic. In the first few days, he always relied on me to read the questions for him and explained an example in detail, so he would understand.
Two days ago, I was rushing to do my homework. He came over to ask me with the exercise book. I casually said: Mom doesn’t know this word, and I don’t know what it means. He sat back and thought about it himself. When he finished writing, I found that he had done everything right.
I praised him and he proudly told me why he knew he did this. Since then, I have decided to start to let go of the homework.
4 Empathy ability
In the concept of the previous generation, children are always "ignorant". But we all know that this is a false proposition. The key to whether a child is sensible is whether the communication channel with the child is consistent and whether he can empathize with them with and .
Last weekend, I took Keppel to the park and met a mother with a three or four-year-old girl. The mother wanted the little girl to play on the taller slide by herself, but the child just didn't want it.
was so angry that my mother said harshly: "I don't even have this courage. What else can you do in the future?"
The little girl cried while looking at her mother standing opposite her with her elbows.
At this time, my father came over, hugged the little girl, and asked her, "Baby, can you tell my father why you don't want to play on the slide?"
"I'm scared by myself."
"Oh, then dad will play with you today, so be brave next time, okay?"
The girl nodded. With her father's company, she had a lot of fun and showed a strong interest in playing on the slide.
Whether it is a parent-child relationship or any other emotional connection, it requires empathy. Condemning the other party simply means placing the responsibility for changing the relationship to the other party. Only understanding and tolerance and empathy are the lubricants for relationship maintenance.
5 Communication and decision-making ability
Most mothers take on the role of issuing orders in their families, and I am often teased by Mr. X as the commander of the family. Mothers’ communication and decision-making abilities are not only needed in the workplace, but also at home.
From large expenses at home, small to small “what to eat today”, communication with elders and relatives at home, communication with school teachers and extracurricular teachers, these are all things that my mother does.
My mother said she was the commander at home, but she was actually a working person. Every time I encounter something that needs to be discussed, I have to understand the situation clearly, analyze the pros and cons clearly, and then discuss it with Mr. X. He often only gives one sentence: Just make a decision. Okay, it’s me, it’s me, it’s me!
But now I decided to gradually delegate power. My husband is not reliable, so I put some power to my son, such as asking him to decide where we go out to eat, where we play, and how we play.
6 Insensitivity
"Insensitivity" is literally translated as "the power of dullness", that is, face the setbacks and pains in life calmly and move towards one's own direction firmly.
In many people's impression, success seems to always be associated with keenness and caution, but having more insensitivity in addition to sensitivity is also a "mean and wisdom to win a better life."
Parenting is the happiest topic of the family. As a commander, mothers can only master moderate "insensitiveness" and be a person with "insensitiveness". There is no need to be careful about details. They are good at discovering the family's active parenting methods and creating a harmonious parenting atmosphere.
"Insensitivity" can allow mothers to say goodbye to the mentality of "holding their hearts on their children all day long". In the atmosphere of family parenting together, they can also actively use their free time to realize their self-worth and promote their self-growth.
When a mother is too sensitive, a little external disturbance makes her worry. At this time, she has blocked the instinct of connecting with the outside world. She wants the child to live in a glass room. She turns into a glass cover, covering the child firmly, and preventing her child from being hurt at all. This is actually destroying her own child.
Once this child comes out of his mother's protection one day, a little drizzle from the outside will be heavy rain for her, and all the harm that should be suffered in her childhood will be repeated without falling.
Mom, everyone thinks this is a synonym for greatness, but I have always had a different view in my heart. I dare not say it before. I read a letter written by the writer Liu Yu to his daughter Xiao Cucku two days ago, " May You Grow Up ". There is a sentence in it that frankly expresses my thoughts: The love of the mother for the child is just the consequences of her choice of giving birth to a child, and it is not a "greatness".
I hope we can all be mothers with high growth ability, have the courage to choose life and the ability to bear the consequences.
or above encourage each other!
END
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Don’t hide yourself, it is the biggest decent adult The path you have taken, every step counts Author introduction: Keppel mother, a post-85 text lover, a second child mother, focusing on reading and writing, growing thinking, occasionally telling a short story, it is the mother, and it is yourself.
