Today's young people are busy with work and under great pressure, especially families with children. If they want to continue to develop their careers, it is best to return to the workplace as soon as possible after giving birth.
But what about the children when their parents go to work? It would be great if the elderly at home can help.
However, in the process of the elderly helping to raise children, many families will have new family conflicts. Because of the different concepts of raising children and the different living habits of the elderly and young people, some conflicts will arise between the elderly and young people from time to time. Little friction.
My cousin’s son is 5 years old. From birth to now, grandma has been the main force in raising the child. However, in these years, not only has there been no conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but they have a very good relationship and are very harmonious.
In private, my cousin told me that the reason why she and her mother-in-law have such a harmonious relationship is thanks to the fact that her mother-in-law kept the ugly words in front of her when she came to help.
Although I felt a little awkward when my mother-in-law said it, after getting along with each other for several years, my cousin praised, Fortunately, her mother-in-law had foresight, and it was her mother-in-law's wisdom that kept them from blushing.
So, what are the four ugly words?
"I don't live with you. I have to pay for renting a house in the same community."
"I don't live with you. I pay for renting a house in the same community." When I heard my mother-in-law's first comment When I asked for it, my cousin got angry.
"It must be more convenient for you to help take care of the baby! Besides, you can live separately if you want, but you have to pay for the rent yourself. If this spreads, people will think that this son and daughter-in-law are too ignorant. "It's okay."
But what my mother-in-law said next convinced my cousin.
The mother-in-law pointed out: "Although I am your mother, the living habits of the elderly and young people are completely different. We like to go to bed early, you like to stay up late, we like to get up early, and you want to sleep in."
In terms of food, the elderly like to eat light food, while the young people have heavy tastes. Especially in summer, everyone wants to wear cooler clothes at home. It is actually very inconvenient for everyone if they live together.
The mother-in-law added: "As old people, it is also our responsibility to take care of our grandchildren. We pay for renting a house ourselves, which counts as money for the children. You don't have to worry about it."
Later, my cousin lived in the same building with my mother-in-law. It is very convenient to rent a house, pick up and drop off the children, and take care of each other.
And life is indeed as my mother-in-law said. We usually live our own lives without disturbing or interfering with each other. We have a meal together every week and buy each other vegetables and fruits, so there is no need to look at it. who.
Without these trivial matters in life, the elderly and young people can live very comfortably!
"I take care of the children during the day, but I have to sleep with you at night."
"Mom, but we have to go to work during the day!" My cousin blurted out after hearing her mother-in-law's request.
But the mother-in-law pointed out: "I am doing this for the good of you and the child! Because the child will kiss whoever he sleeps with since childhood! "
It turns out that html children aged 20-3 are a critical period for emotional upbringing, If there is a lack of emotion during this period, it may cause estrangement between parents and children.
Even if the child is young, in fact, he has started to selectively treat him differently since he was seven or eight months old! children will prefer and like their primary caregiver.
Before the child is 3 years old, the mother-in-law spends most of the time taking care of the child. If the child still sleeps with the grandmother at night, there will be a serious lack of emotional communication between the child and the parents, especially the mother. , the child will not be close to his mother!
At the same time, the mother-in-law pointed out a problem, "Although I help take care of the children, does not mean that you can give up. , you must remember that you are the parents of the children, so you are also obliged to experience the hard work of raising children and bear the responsibility. ."
"I will be the main force during the day, and you will also have a taste of being a parent at night."
Over the years, my cousin and her husband took turns taking care of the baby at night. My cousin did find that compared with other children who were with the old man day and night, her daughter was indeed closer to her, and experienced the hard work of taking care of the baby at night, The young couple is even more grateful to both parents!
"I take care of the children on weekdays, but you must accompany them on weekends."
The third request made by the mother-in-law and cousin is "I take care of the children on weekdays, but you must accompany them on weekends!"
My mother-in-law said that after all, my grandparents are old and their energy is not as good as before, and raising a baby is not an easy task. So they take care of the baby from Monday to Friday, and the cousin and his wife work hard, but they have to change on the weekends. Change, let grandparents breathe a sigh of relief.
Moreover, for children, the company of parents and the company of grandparents have completely different meanings. Spending time with parents on weekends will make children feel more secure and have a better personality. They will be more cheerful.
The children's activities are usually in the community and surrounding shopping malls and parks. The scope of activities is too narrow. My mother-in-law suggested that my cousin take the children out for long walks on weekends, go shopping in the suburbs, and go to museums to gain experience. It’s good to take your children to sports, mountain climbing, and football.
My cousin has always followed the advice of her mother-in-law. Over the years, although her mother-in-law has been the main force in raising children, the relationship between the children and their parents has been very good. For this, my cousin is very grateful. Mother-in-law.
"Education is up to you, life is up to me."
After hearing this, my cousin breathed a sigh of relief. Frankly speaking, before letting her mother-in-law take care of the baby, my cousin had been worried that she did not agree with her mother-in-law on the concept of raising the baby. , I didn’t expect my mother-in-law to be so open-minded.
According to her mother-in-law, now that we pay attention to scientific parenting, her old-fashioned way of raising children is outdated. However, she is old and cannot keep up with the speed of new knowledge, so herself has to focus on life. As for education, everything is decided by parents.
The two of them have a clear division of labor, and the rest will be easier.
The mother-in-law bought a lot of children's recipes and carefully prepared nutrition for the children. Every day, grandpa took the children downstairs to exercise. , play with the children, and take good care of the children's food, clothing, housing and transportation!
Every morning, my cousin gives the mother-in-law a day's early education schedule. The mother-in-law takes the children to read stories and sing children's songs according to the mother's requirements, and takes the children to play thinking games and sharpen their ears. To provide English enlightenment, strictly follow the requirements of my wife, and provide various kinds of early education enlightenment for the child.
Over the years, the child has not only been strong and healthy, but has not fallen behind in early education. He has a smart mouth, can read nursery rhymes and ancient poems, and plays with his thoughts. My cousin told me more than once that my mother-in-law is full of wisdom, and it is her sense of reason that saves the whole family from a lot of quarrels and unhappiness! Sometimes, we think that if a family speaks too clearly and sets the rules too clearly, it would be too unkind and hurt feelings. As a result, conflicts easily arise on many matters, and both parties are unhappy.
In fact, on many things that are prone to conflicts, especially when it comes to raising children, if young people and old people can make ugly remarks in advance, agree on three chapters, and cooperate well, there will be less trouble.
Do you think your mother-in-law’s behavior is unkind, or is it worth learning? Welcome to leave a message for discussion!
