is always thinking constantly, and when it transforms, there will be gorgeous wings and you waiting forever. Only in this life did I feel willing to be a lonely spring silkworm, looking forward to a promise in the next life in the golden cocoon. This is Xi Murong's "Spring Silkworm". Maybe it's too romantic to use on me. But as a teenager, I did have such a beautiful dream, hoping to meet the best she at the best age and accompany her to see the most beautiful scenery. I think this is also a dream that many people have longed for.
In Beihai, I seem to have had such a dream. And everything in the dream seems to be right in front of you. I thought that dream of my youth would be realized in Beihai. In the end, I realized that it was just a dream in Nan Ke. Later, for a while, I often confused dreams and reality, and couldn't tell which one was more realistic. Everything in the dream seems to be there, and it seems to be there.
When I was young, I liked to write colorless and tasteless words. But later I haven't written for a long time. Life completely fucked the young man who once loved to dream. The fingers are too wide and the time is too thin. Looking back, it has been years. The love and regrets of the past were ruthlessly diluted by time. Just in the depths of the heart. When your story becomes someone else's novel, but other people's novels become your story, listening to sad music and watching sad novels, will the past that happened to you many years ago still make you feel inexplicably heartache? Looking at other people's stories, but keeping your own tears.
ZX actually didn't stay in Beihai for a long time. After leaving Beihai, she went to Guangdong to work. Guangdong in the 1990s should be thanked to those migrant workers who went south. Countless boys and girls with dreams contributed their sweat and youth here, creating the prosperity of this land. My cousin has been in Guangdong for six years, so ZX should have been there for quite a long time. While in Guangdong, ZX wrote a letter to tell me about her favorites in the factory and shared her every detail. She said that as long as I am not annoyed, she would be willing to tell me. And my reply became her greatest hope. Yinzhou Nanzhai once had a card-type telephone. For a while, the Internet was very busy and I didn’t contact ZX for a long time. One day, BP received her message and I responded to her using that phone. After the phone was connected, ZX's voice came with sadness: Brother X, I thought you forgot everything about me. I chatted on the phone for more than an hour, and I didn't finish it until I had no money in the card. Afterwards, I held the microphone and I was stunned for a long time. I couldn't say that feeling. I wanted to hear her news, but I was also afraid of giving her too much expectations. That year, I had nothing but youth. The thin shoulders cannot be supported by anyone. The occasional contact with ZX sometimes makes me feel that she is close by, but in fact she is far away from the world. Many years have passed, and communication has been popular. You can chat as long as you want, but I can never find the person I can chat with again.
On May 17, 1999, something happened at home and I went home. My mood wasn't very good during that time. I didn't plan to go back to Beihai. But during this period, my cousin called several times. Although the phone was just chatting about the development status of the Internet, I knew my cousin wanted me to go back. On my birthday, I was in my hometown, and my cousin actually bought clothes for me in Beihai. Said it was a birthday gift for me. I didn't expect my cousin to be so thoughtful that she actually recorded my birthday from the identity information I copied when signing the contract. In fact, my cousin was very good to everyone on the Internet at that time. I used to think that my cousin was the same as her kindness to me. I only realized that it was different later. Before I knew it, I was not only the eldest brother and cousin mentioned by others, but also the guy who disturbed other people's years. If you used to have the shadow of ZX in your heart, you would have the shadow of your cousin later on. Maybe I was wrong back then, and that year shouldn’t have left the shadow of two people in my heart. The clothes my cousin gave me were later worn on my body, and I also wore them for many years, and I had to throw them away until the collar was rotten. Many years have passed, and I always want to put the word tenderness on my cousin. But when she thought of her boldly sharing on the stage, she generously stretched out her hand to the stranger on the Internet and said: Hello, my name is XXX. I feel that this word is irrelevant to her.Maybe her tenderness is also a partner.
Stephen Chow's movies always have a nonsensical style, and many people can't understand it and think it's just funny. In fact, most of Stephen Chow's movies interpret his mental journey. Among those classic lines, you will find that the most real emotions of Stephen Chow are hidden. Although my words are pale, they also truly hide the dreams of my youth.
Beihai is a beautiful city, and those who have been here should leave beautiful memories. More than 20 years ago, there was a young man with dreams who wanted to leave beautiful memories in this city. I wonder if the experience of that year was wonderful or regretful for him? In this city, he met two important people in his life. One time that gentled him, the other time that surprised him. Although the ending of the story did not make everyone happy. But he always feels that it is much better than regret. At least at the age of youth, he has been romantic in his years. But he didn't know if the meeting that year was the love he longed for? Why is his story different from other people's love? Why aren’t it unforgettable and heart-wrenching? Is that love? He was young for many years. Many years later, when he sat in front of the computer, his eyes were wet, and he wrote these words, he found the answer for himself: When love came, why? I am moved, it is you. There are no vows, no flowers before and under the moon, and no sarcasm. Maybe his love is only known by the wind in the North Sea, the trees in the North Sea and the sea in the Beibu Gulf . Many years later, those yellowed handwritings told him with a sigh of passing years: He has been here in her world, and she has also come to his world.
Giant Network once had a very popular online game called Zhengtu . The master can summon his heroes, work together, and build his own world. I've been playing for two years. I turned the year I met them into a name and gave it to my heroine. A family member once asked me how I gave a hero such a strange name? Why? Just because we met that year. Zhengtu later evolved into a wealthy club that could only be played by recharge, so I quit and gradually said goodbye to the Internet. I have uninstalled the game and the hero has already left. But the world in my heart cannot be removed.
That year in Beihai, a boy with nothing actually became greedy and fantasized about having the tenderness of others. As a result, when the other person crossed the river, he landed himself on the other side. More than 0 years later, I read such a Buddhist story. The Buddha preached in a Yuanyin Temple. A spider on the cross beam at the entrance of the temple had been listening to the Tao for a long time and then he developed Buddha nature. One day, Buddha passed by and saw the spider, and asked: Do you know what is the most precious thing in this world? The spider thought about it and replied: What you can't get and what you have lost. The Buddha left with a smile. Three thousand years have passed in a flash. During this period, Buddha met a spider and asked the same question every time. And spiders give the same answer every time. The Buddha also left without saying a word. It was another three thousand years in a flash, and it was the day to make an appointment with Buddha again. The spider feels that his answer must be correct. People often regret it after they can’t get or lose it. Doesn’t it mean that what you can’t get and what you lose are the most precious? The spider wants to wait for the Buddha to come and explain his views. In the early morning of this day, a long wind suddenly blew, and a crystal clear nectar fell on the spider's web. From morning to night, the spider stared at the nectar, and the more he looked, the more he liked it. But a long gust of wind blew, blowing away the nectar again. The spider was sad all night. He became more determined in his opinion. The most precious thing is what you can't get and what you have lost. The next day, the Buddha came as promised. He looked at the sad spider and asked: Do you still have the same answer? The spider nodded. The Buddha sighed and said: Don’t you understand yet? I arranged what happened yesterday. The nectar is brought by Changfeng, she is just a passerby in your life, and Changfeng will eventually take her away. Because she belongs to Changfeng.The spider was even more sad and asked the Buddha: What about me? Is there nothing? The Buddha said to the spider: Under your net, there is a lucid grass that has been with you silently for thousands of years. She has been watching you and admiring you, but you have not lowered your head and discovered the beauty around you. The spider looked down and a shy grass was looking at him eagerly. The Buddha smiled and said: How do you answer my question now? The spider suddenly realized at this time. He looked at the Buddha and said loudly: The most precious thing in the world is not what you cannot get and have lost, but the happiness you can grasp now! The Buddha nodded and left with a smile.
We always think that the scenery is far away, but we often ignore the beauty around us. Buddha understands everything in the world best.
QQ space , an old friend once left me a sentence: Letting my existing life be wonderful and happy is the best comfort for her in my heart. It turns out that the Buddha had already taught the Tao to others, but I understood it too late. We love someone, don’t we just hope she will live a happy life? It doesn’t matter who holds the hand, what matters is that she is happy! Maybe this is the true meaning of love.
Many years later, I sealed the space and covered the past of the North Sea. In a corner of my heart, lock the story of that year and hide it. Leave what you can't get and what you have lost to us. And now we will grasp the happiness we are now. Perhaps from another perspective, remembering the beauty of the past will make us cherish our current life more. Isn't it?
That year, the boy's dream was still childish after all!
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